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Headlines Will Never…You Know…at Yuk Yuks

New article image of a Book Cover

Didn’t I Read This Headline Three Months Ago?
And Four Months Before That?
And Variations On The Theme At Least A Couple Of Times Before That?
Talk About Embracing Recycling!


“Israel launches assault into Khan Younis as mediators push for ceasefire talks”

Toronto Star


Because Designing Walkable Cities Is Beyond The Reach Of Our Current Technologies?


“For whom the road TOLLS
Hate them or not, tolls are the only surefire way to reduce congestion in Toronto”

Toronto Star


You’ll Want To Be Sure It Wasn’t Involved In An Armed Robbery Before You Trust Your Steaks To It


“Look into your barbecue before you start cooking”

Toronto Star


His Position On Banning IVF Treatments Takes Care Of That Second Group


JD Vance’s Wife: My Husband Only Meant to Insult People Who Actively Choose Not to Have Kids, Not People Who Are Trying But Are Unsuccessful
She did not touch on his claim that people who don’t have kids are more sociopathic.”

Vanity Fair


Giving Children The Opportunity To Learn The Science Of Bake Sales


City to ask province to reopen Science Centre
Council suggests accepting donations to fund repairs”

Toronto Star


Some People Are Saying We Must Compensate Victims For Any Medical Costs They May Have Incurred? Really? Compensate Victims? Thanks, But We Can Live Without THAT Much Trust!


Recalled plant-based milk brands must rebuild trust
Marketers say companies should apologize to buyers”

Toronto Star


Fortunately, Armadillos Are There To Solve Them


“Humans caused the problems we are experiencing”

Toronto Star


Are You Allowed To Say That? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FAMILY PUBLICATION!


“Cusk may have gone too far with new book
‘Parade’ flenses away emotional reaction and thereby connection, leaving a cold, and often disquieting, inquisition”

Toronto Star


They Really Should Be More Careful About Who They Eat


“Cocaine Found in Sharks in Brazil”

New York Times


You Never Liked That Side Of The Family Much Anyway…


“Be honest about your cousin’s new look”

Toronto Star


Funny, Because Volunteers Need More Pay
The Ball’s In Your Court, Society


“Society needs more volunteers”

Toronto Star


For Instance, They Could Sniff Out Typos In Headlines


“We need dogs working in health care
It’s time we harness those magical snouts to do more than just sniff out bombs and drugs”

Toronto Star


I Blinked – What Did I Miss?


“Iran’s New President Brings Cautious Hope for Change”

New York Times

Israel targets Hezbollah in strike on Beirut
Deadly reprisal after attack on Golan Heights raises fears of escalating regional conflict”


Toronto Star


Unlike The Trump Candidacy, Which Is No Promise And All Risks


“A Harris Presidential Candidacy Holds Promise, and Risks”

New York Times


Ulcers Are Obligatory, So I Should Learn How To Enjoy Them


“What I learned at arts critic camp”

Toronto Star


For My Retirement, I Hope To Be Able To Eat Every Second Or Third Day
You May Say I’m A Dreamer, But I’m Not The Only One


“YOUR ROAD TO RETIREMENT
Is your goal to have $300,000, $1 million or $3 million for your golden years? Financial planners map it out for you starting at age 25″

Toronto Star


Karl Hiassen Never Lacks For Material, The Lucky Bastard!


Tropical storm threatens Florida
Flooding expected along southeast Atlantic coast”

Toronto Star


That Assumes He Was Glued To Begin With


“Trump appears to be coming unglued”

Toronto Star


Claims At Least Three Were Actually Read


“News Corp. Touts 150,000 ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ Books Sold Within 24 Hours of JD Vance Being Named Trump’s VP”

The Wrap


It Will Positively Change Verdant Land Into A Barren Moonscape


“Mining can bring positive change”

Toronto Star


Not While They’re Living In My Universe, It Isn’t!


“Your child’s relationship is just that: theirs”

Toronto Star


But Politicians Are Experts, Too
Just Not In A Field That Matters To Most People…


“Hospitals should be run by the experts, not politicians”

Toronto Star


Government Says Citizens Will Love The Taste Of Soylent Green


“Sicily Prioritizes Tourists Over Crops”

New York Times


Funny How The People Who Blathered On About A Kamala Krash Aren’t Saying Anything About A Kamala Komeback


Rebound eases investor concerns
Analysts, money managers, economists still trying to make sense of Monday’s massive sell-off”

Toronto Star