Don’t Worry, The Province Has A Plan: When Enough Addicts Die Of An Overdose, There Will Be No Need For Replacements
You’re Welcome, Ontario!
“SUPERVISED CONSUMPTION
Uncertainty looms around hubs
Several sites set to close under provincial order, but unclear when replacements will be ready”
– Toronto Star
It’s Rated R
That’s No Way To Involve Children In Politics!
“Trump sets tone for our next vote”
– Toronto Star
Too Late
“We must rethink our electoral safeguards”
– Toronto Star
But Joe Anybody Has An Alibi!
“‘Anybody’ could have been driving boat during fatal crash, trial told”
– Toronto Star
And Money
Lots And Lots Of Money
“Sea change
For a tall-ship adventure, all you need are gorgeous waters and wind in your sails”
– Toronto Star
But They Seem Really Sincere This Ti –
“Maudits Anglais!”
“Oh. Okay. I See Your Point…
“View Quebec’s renewed patriotism with caution”
– Toronto Star
Not If They’re A Psychic Chiropractor
“Crush on chiropractor is a touchy subject”
– Toronto Star
Every Crisis Is An Opportunity…For Developers And Other Friends Of The Premier
“Ford retools cabinet to battle Trump
Premier aims to make economy more competitive by cutting red tape, speeding up approvals”
– Toronto Star
But It Gains Flavour
“Snow loses magic when it’s yellow”
– Toronto Star
Not To Worry: American Tariffs Will Solve That Problem Real Quick!
“ARGENTINA
Stronger peso hurts eateries”
– Toronto Star
Are Those The Experts Who Argued That The Sun Coming Up Was A Good Time To Rethink Supply Management?
“Time to rethink supply management?
U.S. complaints about system could be used in bargaining, experts say”
– Toronto Star
He Should Start With A New Personality
“Poilievre in need of a new strategy”
– Toronto Star
You Know What They Say: It’s Better To Campaign Hopefully Than To Be Elected…
“Tariffs could hike cost of World Cup
Chow hoping Ottawa and Queen’s Park will pick up the extra costs incurred by city for events”
– Toronto Star
Don’t Be So Modest – We Would All Be Victims Of Poilievre’s Success
“Poilievre is a victim of his own success”
– Toronto Star
3. Take Your Winter Coats Out Of The Closet Because You’ll Need Them To Cope With Freakishly Cold Weather!
2. Try And Run Through A Freak Hailstorm Without Getting Hit In The Face!
1. Shovel The Product Of A Freak Snowstorm Off Your Driveway!
“Spring Awakening
Winter’s over! Consider this your anti-hibernation guide: 16 ideas for embracing the thrill of a new season”
– Toronto Star
“Penguins Are The Worst! They’ve Been Robbing Us Blind With Huge Tariffs! Well, No More! Today Is Liberation Day From Horrible Flightless Waterfowl!”
“Trade war with penguins”: Trump places 10% tariff on uninhabited Antarctic islands”
– Salon
Thanks, But I Get Enough Adrenalin Watching My Life Savings Crater
“Heli-ski in the birthplace of the sport
Want an adrenalin-filled – and distinctly Canadian – adventure? Take a helicopter to a mountaintop, then swoosh your way down”
– Toronto Star
You Mean Becky-sues Are Also Welcome? Finally, Progress!
“Not just for hardcore hucks anymore”
– Toronto Star
20? Try 12!
“The making of Pierre Poilievre – and what could unmake him
Two journalists discuss whether the federal Conservative leader has politically matured, or if he’s the same ideologue he was at age 20″
– Toronto Star
Just In Time To Admit Russia!
“Time to kick the U.S. out of the G7”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, China Still Beating Us At Countries
“Canada beats China at worlds”
– Toronto Star
Let’s See: One Side Has Lied Constantly Since The Beginning Of The War And Has Been Plausibly Accused Of War Crimes, The Other Is Trying To Defend Its Territory
Yep, Both Sides Are Equally Credible…
“WAR IN UKRAINE
Both sides accuse each other of braking agreement
Deal was meant to protect energy infrastructure”
– Toronto Star
Just Because It Happened On April First…
“Asking for a divorce not the greatest prank”
– Toronto Star
White House Correspondents Association Claims Irony Is Dead, Disproves Its Point By Stating It Wants To Focus On Finding Journalistic Excellence
“Comedian Ruffin cut from White House event”
– Toronto Star
As Opposed To All Of The “Crimes Of Great Intellect” We Read About Every Day?
“‘This was a crime of stupidity,’ judge says
Man who killed two seniors while speeding on Parkside Drive gets six-and-a-half year sentence”
– Toronto Star