That’s Not Entirely Fair
They Lack Compassion For Women, Non-whites And Gay People, Too
“Tories lacking compassion for our seniors”
– Toronto Star
Good Thing They Don’t Face That Pressure In Real Life…
“Women pressured to look good on TV”
– Toronto Star
Ball Now In Republicans Court To See If They Can Roll It Back Further
“Taliban Roll Back the Clock”
– New York Times
At Least, That’s What Your Seven Year-old Will Tell You When He Asks For A $1,000 Raise In His Allowance
“More than meets the eye
For some, they’re not just toys, Transformers are collected because of their artistry and design”
– Toronto Star
Premier Thought The Science Table Had Been Killed
Was Assured Statement Was Just Random Twitching Of Nerve Endings
“Science table members oppose change
Professor says decision to scrap Ontario’s mandatory isolation led by ‘very simplistic thinking’
– Toronto Star
They Could Decide To Live Down To Their Reputation, And Nobody Wants To Deal With The Potential Carnage Of That
“Labelling foods as ‘bad’ could backfire”
– Toronto Star
Because Worker Exploitation Didn’t Happen Before The Pandemic?
“Urge to ‘quiet quit’ a sign of post-pandemic burnout”
– Toronto Star
Behaviour Deemed Insufficiently Weird For Him To Join The Florida Man Cult
“Florida man turns house into Disney shrine”
– Toronto Star
“Nice National Conversation. Shame If Something Happened To It. Real Shame If It Broke. If It Just…Broke…”
“Bullies threaten discourse, PM says”
– Toronto Star
Religious Leader Says His Pitching Arm Is Stiff From Years Of Disuse, But He Does Miss The Game
“South Korea Scouts Moon”
– New York Times
Only Has Four Years To Completely Destroy Public System
Will Have To Hustle If He Wants To Accomplish His Goal
“HEALTH CARE
Ford presses Trudeau on ‘urgent’ need for reform”
– Toronto Star
Once Noun Has Been Found, Headline Will Make Sense
“Authorities urged to find missing”
– Toronto Star
Cannabisalize Your Competition
“How to survive as a cannabis company”
– Toronto Star
Heaven Forbid Construction Should Be Slowed By…Democracy!
“Tories insist ‘strong mayors’ plan needed
Legislation will fast-track construction of projects stalled by zoning issues, minister tells panel”
– Toronto Star
Cuts Like A Knife (Because Cutting Like A Butterfly Wouldn’t Make Much Sense In This Context)
“Wealthsimple laying off 13% of staff amid ‘volatility'”
– Toronto Star
“Hootsuite laying of 30% in restructuring”
– Toronto Star
“West Fraser cuts 147 jobs in B.C.”
– Toronto Star
“Hexo slashes 450 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Shopify to lay off 1,000 people
Bet that the pandemic e-commerce boost would stick around didn’t pay off, chief executive says”
– Toronto Star
“Ford cutting 3,000 white-collar jobs in bid to lower costs”
– Toronto Star
I Feel Like There’s Another Factor At Play, Here…I Can’t Quite Put My Finger On It, But I’m Sure That When I Do It Will Be Right On The Money…
“Immigration backlog at more than 1 million
Old technology, refugee crisis have led to long wait”
– Toronto Star
Add An Apostrophe In The Right Place And You Could Claim The Typo Was Intentional
“Satrical show on Prince Andrew to air
– Toronto Star
No Councillor Made It A Plank In Their Campaign Platform
“City’s tree canopy is stalled, and I’m stumped as to why”
– Toronto Star
What, This Again? Must Be A Slow News Week
Like, A Really Slow News Week
I’m Talking Molasses Slow, Here
“SOFTWOOD LUMBER
Canada challenges ‘unfair’ U.S. duties”
– Toronto Star
That’s Rude!
I Thought Canadians Were Supposed To Be Polite!
“Show us your ministers’ mandate letters”
– Toronto Star
Wouldn’t A Jail Sentence Be More Appropriate Than A Slap To The Back Of The Head?
“2 cuffed in slaying of Ottawa man”
– Toronto Sun
I’m Not Currently Wearing Shades, But I Have Bought A Pair In Anticipation…
“‘I think our future is bright'”
– Toronto Star
It Does Make A Nice Change From Fighting Between Friends, Though…
“LIBYA
Fighting between rival groups threatens to disrupt chain”
– Toronto Star
Of Course, It Was Made Up Of Only One Multiple Choice Question, And All Of The Answers Were The Same, But Even So There Was Some Doubt
“RBC policies pass fossil fuel test in Texas”
– Toronto Star
It’s More Expensive And Messier Than A Tarot Deck, But Every Culture Has Its Own Means Of Divination
“Mexico Sees Its Future in Fossil Fuels”
– New York Times
“I Was Happy Where I Was,” Fish Complains. “They Wouldn’t Have Dared Do This If I Still Had All My Teeth!”
“Native cutthroat trout returned to Banff National Park after 50 years”
– Toronto Star
The Russian President’s Attendance Would Be About As Welcome As A Chainsaw At A Wedding (Not To Mention More Awkward)
“Low-key funeral for Gorbachev”
– Toronto Star
“Putin absent as thousands line up to say farewell”
– Toronto Star
“War of the world views
Putin’s hard line efforts result in near-complete reversal of Gorbachev’s reforms”
– Toronto Star