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Headlines Schmedlines! We Just Want To Party!

What If You Already Feel Lost Most Of The Time?


“The point of travelling is to feel lost”

Toronto Star


That’s What NATO Is For (Like Our Straight Face? We’ve Patented It…)


“Why U. N. Can’t Solve World’s Problems”

New York Times


Just Manipulate The Sliders On Your Emotional Mixing Board – How Hard Can It Be?


“Hate your boss? Change your attitude”

Globe and Mail


That’s What An Abortion Ban Is For


“Burka ban
Don’t politicize women’s bodies”

Globe and Mail


It’s Not The Destination, It’s The Heavy Petting On The Journey


“Enjoy dating as a process, not an endgame”

Toronto Star


We Don’t, And We’re Very Ashamed Of Ourselves


“Oil sands opponents should use facts, not populist tactics, to sway public opinion”

Globe and Mail


We Didn’t Say They Would Be An Honest Broker…


“Breakthrough in Gaza crisis
Egypt to host indirect talks after brokering temporary ceasefire to month-long conflict”

Toronto Star

Gaza: Egypt views Hamas as problem”


Globe and Mail


Phew! Changing Their Ethnicity Is Likely To Be Easier Than Changing Most Kid’s Eating Habits


“Kids born abroad have lower BMIs, study says
Ethnicity and place of birth should be part of weight loss strategies, journal suggests”

Toronto Star


The Police, Actually


“Who says playgrounds are just for kids?”

Globe and Mail


Did It Look For Them In The Space Behind The Fridge?


“Canada lost 11,000 jobs in August”

Toronto Star


Tibetan Buddhists?


“In a Scarred Chinese City, Saving Tiny Creatures”

New York Times


Really? He’s So Young To Be Retiring From Politics…


“MacKay open to relaxing pot possession laws”

Toronto Star


If You Cut Our Jobs, Do Our Economies Not Bleed?


“Rogers cutting vice-presidents and middle management jobs”

Globe and Mail

“Sobey’s to close stores, chop jobs in wake of Safeway deal”


Globe and Mail

“Hewlett-Packard announces further job cuts as sales continue to disappoint”


Globe and Mail

“Cinram’s move to U.S. costs 55 jobs”


Toronto Star

“Kobo announces 63 layoffs
Toronto e-reader company faces increasing competition from smartphones, tablets”


Toronto Star

“MUCHDONE
Bell Media lays off 91 employees, including personality Leah Miller”


Toronto Sun

“Unilever plans to shut down Bramalea plant
The closure will affect 280 employees at the facility, which makes soups and sauces under Knorr and Lipton brands”


Toronto Star

“Hostess to close first Twinkie bakery
Some 400 workers lose jobs despite factory resurrection from bankruptcy in 2012″


Toronto Star

“Shaw Communications to lay off 400 workers”


Toronto Star

“B.C.-based mining firm plans to axe 600 jobs
Teck Resources responds to weak revenue with global cuts”


Toronto Star

“CBC cuts 657 jobs, reduces programs”


Globe and Mail

“Walmart Canada wipes out 750 jobs”


Toronto Star

“Allergan to slash 1,500 jobs as it defends against Valeant’s hostile takeover bid”


Toronto Star

“Bombardier chief retires as 1,800 face layoffs”


Globe and Mail

“MICROSOFT LAYOFFS
Tech giant slashes 18,000 jobs”


Toronto Star


“We Broke It, He Bought It” The Latest Military Paradigm

Iraq: Al-Maliki is ‘out of his mind…he doesn’t appreciate the mess he has created'”


Globe and Mail

Or, Cause Typhoid Epidemics
Or, Be Responsible For Rioting In The Streets
Or, Make The Earth Spiral Into The Sun
(Success Is Just A Matter Of Aiming High…)


“OEB: Our meters won’t burst into flame”

Toronto Sum


And, We re Determined To Try Every Implausible One Until It Becomes Known!


“‘Plausible strategy to defeat’ militants still unknown”

Toronto Star


First Clear Statement: Wireless Competition Is Most Attractive To Elf And Unicorn Investors


“Ottawa must offer clarity to foster real wireless competition”

Globe and Mail


The Old Taliban Objects, But (Sorry, Francis Fukayama) History Has Moved On


“ISIS the new Taliban: Harper”

Toronto Sun


You Mean…They’re Changing THEIR TARGET?


“Target lowers its outlook”

Toronto Star


Make Up Your Mind!


“Sierra Wireless and the case for growth stocks”

Globe and Mail

“A value investor’s take: Here’s my problem with growth stocks”


Globe and Mail


Butter Chicken Dreams Of Rawalpindi And Blintzes Long For Life In The Shtetl


“The comforting power of nostalgic food”

Toronto Star


The Sidewalk On Which “We Don’t Stop For Nobody” Is Sung Is Now Worldwide


“‘It’s best not to mess with us,’ Putin says”

Toronto Star


You Mean, As The Only Country In The Region That Is Always Right?


“Will he judge Israel fairly?”

Canadian Jewish News


Blink And You May – Sorry, You Missed It…


“Hamas, Israel agree to interim ceasefire”

Globe and Mail


If City Doesn’t Do Something About Its Gut, It Will Suffer A Heart Attack


“It’s time Toronto got smart about being dense”

Toronto Star


Was He Really Missing? HE Always Knew Where He Was…


“Man missing since 1977 found alive”

Toronto Sun


Can I Interest You In A Used Colour Scheme?


“Terror threat raised to severe in U.K.”

Toronto Star


Perhaps The Chef Should Cut Down On The Garlic


“Gazpacho to make you weep”

Toronto Star


Not At All (If Anybody Wants Me, I’ll Be Cowering Under My Bed – But, Bravely Cowering…)


“THE NEW FACE OF TERROR
How afraid should we be of ISIS and its leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi?”

Globe and Mail


And, That Was Just The First Stage Of Alzheimer’s!


“The word failure was not in our vocabulary”

Toronto Star


How Western Right Wing Militants Have Hijacked History
Recent Events Are Distorted To Justify A Campaign Of Covert Ops, Drone Strikes And Propaganda In A Bloody Bid To Propagate Power


“How Islamic State militants have hijacked history
Long-accepted events are distorted to justify a campaign of beheadings, crucifixions and massacres in a bloody bid to gain power”

Toronto Star


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