You Bet!
“Driving Citizens Into Bankruptcy To Keep The City Solvent” Doesn’t Make For A Good Campaign Poster
“Should Toronto gamble on a lottery?”
– Toronto Star
We Could Buy Them Dinner First
I’m Sure They Would Love Red Lobster
“Can we farm fish in new, sustainable ways?”
– Toronto Star
Ha Ha Ha – Good One! I Haven’t Had Such A Big Laugh Since Uncle Marty Drank Kaopectate Instead Of Punch At The –
Wait – What? You Were Being Serious? Oh. Okay. Uncle Marty’s Situation Turned Out That Way, Too…
“Profits are up, will food prices come down?”
– Toronto Star
Sure, As Long As Lassie Is Around To Rescue Timmy When He Falls Into It
“Part Vegas, part Hong Kong: Can The Well work?”
– Toronto Star
The Premier Doesn’t Drive Through The Fray – He Flies Above It
“Where was Ford during chaos at Rainbow Bridge?”
– Toronto Star
How Many Hamburgers You Can Cook On The Grill On A Single Charge
“What exactly is EV range? How is range calculated? What can affect it?”
– Toronto Star
How Many Are Left?
“How many more children will be killed before Canada intervenes?”
– Toronto Star
They Couldn’t Agree On Whose Turn It Was To Buy The Next Round
“Dash cam installed in my hybrid killed my battery. Why?”
– Toronto Star
Go Back In Time And Convince The Dinosaurs To Do Something About The Big Rock In The Sky Hurtling Towards Them
“What can we do to prevent wildfires?”
– Toronto Star
As Long As It’s Crunchy, I’m Good
“Is dry shampoo bad for you?”
– Toronto Star
The Legislation Would Never Have Teeth
“Pharmacare? What about dental care?”
– Toronto Star
Her Divorce Lawyer
Is That Real Enough For You?
“Wife’s peaceful, I’m a realist. Who’s right?”
– Toronto Star
Not If They Were Circus Clowns
Were They Circus Clowns?
“Must I wear black to my in-laws’ funeral?”
– Toronto Star
Gone To Landfills Every One
When Will They Ever Learn?
When Will They Ever Learn?
“Where Did Hong Kong’s Neon Go?”
– New York Times
I Know Exactly What Should Be Named After The Late Mayor,
Unfortunately, There Are No Longer Any Public Toilets In The City
“Ford known for flaws, foibles and football
So if city is going to name anything after the late mayor, why not a stadium?”
– Toronto Star
Stop The Cops Railroading Him On Bogus Hate Crime Charges
“How do we help our son get back on track?”
– Toronto Star
It Died As Corporate Policy And Was Reborn As An Advertising Tagline
“What happened to customers coming first?”
– Toronto Star
As Long As It Has Enough Clamato Juice
“Can Calgary go from Cowtown to Caesar-ville?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely
It Will Confuse Them When You’re Mean In The Future
“Should I apologize for being mean in the past?”
– Toronto Star
Look Under The Whelm
“I’m overwhelmed. How do I find peace?”
– Toronto Star
Aren’t They All?
“Was vocal Trump backer a secret international spy?”
– Toronto Star
They Realized The Misfit Toys Were Having All The Fun And Joined Them On Their Island
“Where are all the real toys?”
– Toronto Star
You Know When Your Fantasies Give You A Hernia, It’s Time To Slow Down…
“I’m a man in my 60s. Is young nurse into me?”
– Toronto Star
Yeah, If This One Ever Gets Resolved, Call Me
“Teachers will need help from parents on cellphone bans”
– Toronto Star
“Will parents let schools ban phones?”
– Toronto Star
Do You Have To Go To The Bathroom – Or Is It Just “Potty Mouth?”
“Are you actually hungry – or is it ‘lonely mouth?'”
– Toronto Star
Sure, But To Brazil
“Can Canada restore respect?”
– Toronto Star
Ownership Is An Illusion, Ownership Of An In-ground Pool Doubly So
“Are you sure you actually own your backyard?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! It’s That Squiggly Line Just Below The Red And Green Blotch That Represents The War In Gaza – No Not The Squiggly Line Above The Purple Triangle With The Curved Top Angle That Represents Donald Trump’s Dictatorial Ambitions – Joly’s Squiggly Line Is Thinner, With 17% More Squiggle – it’s Right Next To The Word “Thronk,” Which Represents The War In Ukraine – I’m Surprised You Can’t See It…
“In the eye of a global storm
Foreign Minister Melanie Joly is grappling with a world full of chaos. But is she making a mark?”
– Toronto Star