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Headlines Promise They Won’t Wilt Under the Pressure
(But Everybody Knows They Will)

Good Advice For Second Term Presidents


“Be ruthless when cleaning out cabinets”

Toronto Star


Next: What CEOs Can Learn From Homeless People


“Five business lessons from life as a ski bum”

Globe and Mail


What If We Went Wassailing In Wabash?


“We Are Where We Vacation”

New York Times


What Do You Expect From A Zombie Economy?


Brewers: ‘It’s cannibalization. It’s not net growth.'”

Globe and Mail


Just Stop Short Of Suggesting That It Be A Model For Canada


“Scientists in awe of ‘vigorous, diverse’ Pluto”

Toronto Star


He Can’t Be Too Concerned…


“Shopify CEO keeping an eye on NDP tax plans”

Toronto Star

“Shopify makes big push in Waterloo”


Globe and Mail


Expects Substantial Savings From Eliminating Prepositions In All Correspondence


“Twitter lays off 336 people as new CEO tries cut costs”

Toronto Sun


Excuse Yourself!


“A difficult landscape, a determined BRP
While its short-term ales outlook remains uncertain, new products are revving up interest in Bombardier spinoff”

Globe and Mail


By Way Of Contrast, Drywallers, Sales Clerks And IT Drones Are Indifferent To The Election


“ECONOMISTS WATCH THE ELECTION”

Globe and Mail


Because We Loves Famouser People Than Us


“Why do we love awkward celebrity interviews so much?”

Toronto Star


When You Have A Hummer, Everything Looks Like An Epic Fail


“Green schemes all about cash”

Toronto Sun


Inject Rather Than Imbibe?


“New alcohol strategy needed”

Globe and Mail


I Know I Would Be Thrilled To Be Mugged If It Meant The Jays Winning The World Series


“A TALE OF TWO CITIES: TORONTO VS. DALLAS
It may boast safer streets and taller buildings, but Canada’s biggest city trails in championship teams”

Toronto Star


But…But…But Keeping It White And Male IS A Plan


“Corporate Canada needs a plan for diversity in the boardroom”

Globe and Mail


You Don’t Want To Think About The Sound Of That
Or Just About Any Other Sensory Input, For That Matter


“The hills are alive with Swiss cows”

Toronto Star


What A Bright Idea That Was!


“Firework went off on top of head”

Toronto Sun


The 3,721st Cut Is The Deepest


“Why TD is slashing jobs as it racks up record profit”

Globe and Mail

“Cummins cuts jobs on weak demand”


Globe and Mail

“Deutsche Bank plans job cuts”


Globe and Mail

“National Bank to cut jobs, issue shares”


Globe and Mail

“TransCanada to cut 30 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“KGHM to cut 48 jobs in Sudbury”


Globe and Mail

“La Presse announces 158 layoffs”


Toronto Star

“TransAlta to slash 239 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“ESPN cuts 300 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“Yellow Pages cutting about 300 positions”


Toronto Star

“Twitter to cut 300 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“CP rail to trim up to 300 jobs as profits rise”


Toronto Star

“Lockheed to cut 500 jobs in IT unit”


Globe and Mail

“CN surpasses profit estimates but lays off 600”


Toronto Star

“Reposol cuts 1,500 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“Caterpillar to eliminate another 5,000 jobs by year’s end”


Toronto Star

“HP to cut 25,000 to 30,000 jobs”


Globe and Mail


How Dare Those Bastards Refuse To Give Up Their Lives For Our Cause?


“U.S.-Trained Forces Disappoint”

New York Times


The Vegetables REALLY Need A New Alcohol Strategy!


“Halton school’s food garden turns into a spinach frenzy”

Toronto Star


Then Pass Bill C-51 To Michael Jordan


“Our leaders need to pivot toward an innovation economy”

Globe and Mail


Sorry, But…Were You Aware That The Kool-Aid Is Dripping Down Your Chin?


“Harper clear choice on the economy”

Toronto Sun


New Cribs For The Nursery


“How to make Parliament work”

Toronto Star


Conscience? That’s For Readers Of The Comics Page…


“Vote with your pocketbook – not markets – in mind”

Globe and Mail


You Do Know That Fiction Is Kind Of The Opposite Of Truth, Right?
Okay, This Explains A Lot…


The truth comes out
Spielberg and Hanks collaborate again on Cold War thriller Bridge of Spies – the dramatization of Gary Powers’ capture by Soviets”

Toronto Sun


Porcelain Swans Swimming On A Two Per Cent Milk Lake?


“What does this team really want to be?”

Toronto Star


The International Association Of Buggy Whip Producers Is Especially Active In Ottawa


“Historic lobbies live on”

Globe and Mail


And, You Don’t See The Problem There?


“$2.5M union payout doesn’t look good, but is normal: Wynne”

Toronto Star


Is In Guinness For “Shortest National Leadership Run Ever”


“Baird seriously mulls run at Conservative leadership”

Globe and Mail

“Baird decides against return to politics”


Globe and Mail


I Can See That

Oh, Wait – I Misread The Headline. I Thought It Was About A Booster Seat


“Ford brothers boost Harper”

Toronto Sun


It Only Ever Existed In Your Fevered Imagination, And You Can’t Kill Something That Never Lived?


“Why Canada’s shift to conservatism isn’t dead”

Globe and Mail


That’s Why He Prefers Not To Share His Policies With Them Until After Implementation


“Harper confident ‘people are smart'”

Toronto Sun


You’re Really Rushing The Six Stages Of Grief, There, Fella!


“It’s time to think about next season”

Toronto Star


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