Stop Me From Breaking Up With My High School Sweetheart Thirty Years Ago?
“Is there anything antioxidants can’t do?”
– Globe and Mail
What? You Thought They Were Joinsed At The Hip?
“Syrian PM leaves to joins the rebels”
– Toronto Sun
Unfortunately, There Are No Rose Coloured Glasses Big Enough
“Republicans keen to ‘let America see what we see in Mitt Romney'”
– Toronto Star
Can’t Keep Track Of You Cellphone Programmes?
There’s A…You Know…
“App promotes student understanding”
– Toronto Star
“Bathroom app a downloading success”
– Toronto Star
“Phone app lets kids put pain on hold
Game lightens daily load for ill children”
– Toronto Star
“Fitness apps motivate, make workouts more fun.”
– Toronto Star
“Crime stoppers, there’s an app for that”
– Globe and Mail
“App sparks talk about biological clock
Mira Kaddoura hopes her art project, Wonder Clock, will engage men and women in intimate conversations”
– Toronto Star
“Boosting energy literacy with an app”
– Toronto Star
“App can save you from boring date”
– Toronto Star
“UN app tries to help envision life as a refugee”
– Toronto Star
Or, Not…
“Apple to cut YouTube app over widening rift with Google”
– Globe and Mail
Can’t Rona Unfriend Lowe’s On Facebook?
“Lowe’s stalks Rona”
– Toronto Star
Take It Back To The Home, Where It Belongs
“What to do about anger in the office”
– Globe and Mail
From Waterslides To Waterboarding – A Place To Stand, A Place To Grow…Cynical
“And its got a view to die for
Ontario Place isn’t quite Guantanamo Bay but maybe Americans are onto something”
– Toronto Sun
And, His Mother Dressed Him Funny
“Gore Vidal lived too long”
– Globe and Mail
A Thousand Grade School Teachers Have Aneurysms
“Use web to do your homework”
– Toronto Star
That Don’t Involve, You Know, Reducing The Number Of Guns
“Obama Says U.S. Needs to Examine Ways to Reduce Gun Violence”
– Businessweek
I…Really Don’t Want To Know What Happens In His Crotchety
“Drunken perv gets crotchety”
– Toronto Sun
After Making Humongous Profits
And Cutting The Salaries Of Most Of Our Workers
And Getting A New Coffeemaker For Head Office…
“Enbridge: Safety is our ‘top priority'”
– Globe and Mail
For One Thing, The Kitty Doors Have To Be HUUUUUUGE!
“Lions aren’t good pets”
– Toronto Star
John Baird? Seriously? You’re Being Ironic, Right? You’ve Got To Be Being Ironic…
“NO MORE MR. NICE GUY”
– Globe and Mail
Does It Involve His Crotchety? Because – Yuck!
“B.C. publisher has crude idea”
– Toronto Sun
Are You Kidding?
For Some Thriller Writers, They Never Went Away!
“The Nazis are back”
– Toronto Star
Programmers Were Told They Were Working On Big Dates
“How Big Data Became So Big”
– New York Times
Something Out Of Fifty Shades Of Grey
“What’s ‘Yippee!’ in French?”
– Toronto Sun
Cool…
“We’re all fans now”
– Globe and Mail
Retirement Planning? I Thought You Were Talking About International Relations!
“IT PAYS TO BE PARANOID
Retirement planning means expecting things to go wrong”
– National Post
The 800s Or The 900s?
“Vatican must change with the times”
– Toronto Star
If Look Could Kill…
“Councillors looks for ways to make TTC tracks safer”
– Globe and Mail
Let Me Think About It And Ask Me Again Five Minutes Ago
“That time-travel idea sounds good”
– Toronto Sun
Ethnic Cleansing Having Failed
“U.S. Helping to Cleanse Vietnam of Agent Orange”
– New York Times
Don’t Think This Stock Is A Good Buy?
You Will…You Will…
“Shadow of a doubt
The brain’s ability to see through misleading advertising claims or even outright fraud is reduced as people age – putting seniors at greater risk of making questionable purchasing decisions”
– Globe and Mail
Pundits Outraged
Everybody Else Yawns And Says, “So, What Else Is New?”
“Iranians cry ‘death to Israel'”
– Toronto Star
Will Go Dutch On The First Few Dates – Just Until It’s Sure
“Alberta eyes tougher carbon rules”
– Globe and Mail
Don’t They Know That If They Don’t Start By Taking Manhattan, They’ll Never Take Berlin?
“NDP tries to take Quebec”
– Toronto Sun
Power(lessness) To The People! Maybe!
“Power failure in India affects millions”
– Globe and Mail
“Fast recovery follows huge blackout in north
Private generators blunted outage’s effect”
– Toronto Star
That Would Teach Those Damn Students!
“PQ would toughen Quebec language laws, Marois says”
– Toronto Star
Cartel Has Already Received 100 Resumes For Replacements
“Drug honchos nabbed”
– Toronto Sun
Unfortunately, Republicans Need More Than Conservatives To Win
“A Vice Presidential Candidate Conservatives Can Love”
– New York Times
Did I Say Unfortunately? Bite My Tongue!
Poor Vision Would Explain A Lot
“Blue Jays looking past lost season”
– Toronto Star
I Don’t Even Want My Smoked Gouda To Taste Like Smoked Gouda!
“Do you really want your beer to taste like smoked gouda?”
– Globe and Mail
Did You Know He Owned A ?
I Always Thought He Was Left Handed!
“$60,000 worth stolen from Steve Jobs’ home”
– Toronto Star