Or, Not…
U.S. economy: If companies put their stash of cash to work, growth should follow”
– Globe and Mail
“150 jobless as Toronto bakery chain closes down”
– Toronto Star
“BBC cuts 360 jobs, online budget”
– Globe and Mail
“Slumping Yahoo cuts 600 more employees”
– Globe and Mail
“Barclays bank to axe 1,000 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“1,300 to lose jobs as Electrolux closes Quebec plant”
– Toronto Star
“Novartis to cut 1,400 U.S. sales jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Nokia to cut 1,800 jobs despite profit”
– Globe and Mail
“Renault looks to cut 3,000 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
Why Not…
“Businesses urged to pick up slack as stimulus wanes”
– Globe and Mail
“Amid shaky recovery, businesses sit on their wallets”
– Globe and Mail
Tie Yourself Up In Knots
“Want a winning investment? Avoid forecasts”
– Globe and Mail
Being On The Ground Won’t Help When It Crashes
“JUMP ABOARD THE COMMODITY TRAIN”
– National Post
Such Things Exist?
Next, You’ll Be Telling Me About Unicorns In The Garden
“McCallion accused of actions ‘unbecoming’ of a politician”
– Globe and Mail
Rodney Dangerfield Left His Legacy To A Worthy Industry
“Nuclear’s future:
Fission or fizzle?
As Ottawa readies to sell its Candu operations, industry insiders wonder why nuclear energy can’t get any respect”
– Toronto Star
Will Virgin Put Out, Or Will Suitors Be Stuck On First Base?
“Branson seeks alliance for Virgin”
– Globe and Mail
And, Even If They’re Not
“CANADIANS BETTER OFF, EVEN IF THEY DON’T FEEL IT”
– National Post
You Mean Hu’s On First?
“Guess Hu’s coming to dinner”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, Finance Ministry Officials Don’t Have To Take It
“Ottawa plans crash course on financial literacy”
– Globe and Mail
So, We’ll Just Repeat Them Louder
(Because…Because Our Scare Tactics Go Up To 11)
“Canadians no longer impressed by retirement scare tactics”
– National Post
“Prepare for the dark side of RRSPs”
– National Post
A Nightmare On K Street, Part 27
“U.S. taking Canada to arbitration in softwood dispute”
– Globe and Mail
If I Had A Fat Wallet To Sit On, I Would Be Confident, Too
“CEOs gaining confidence the world over, survey shows”
– Globe and Mail
Environmentalists vs. Corporate Lobbyists?
Dollars vs. Breathable Air?
POLITICS VS. SANITY?
“The oil debate: A bigger issue than fuel vs. nature”
– National Post
Why Not An Iron Smelter-Ice Skating Rink?
“Why not a Tory-NDP coalition?”
– Toronto Star
HSEDIFY Fashion Just Doesn’t Trip Off The Tongue
“RESULTS MAY VARY
The latest in DIY fashion: have someone else do it for you”
– eye Weekly
Parents Blame The Internet
“Virgin cocktails grow up”
– Globe and Mail
But, Not Spending Threatens Our Present
Help Me, Landru, HELP ME!
“Our saving shortfall threatens our future”
– Toronto Star
More Overtime For Financial Pundits
“Why a rising unemployment rate is a good sign”
– Globe and Mail
After All, You Can Outrun The Jobless Old If You Have To
“Be very afraid of the jobless young”
– National Post
The Americans Have Grown Bored With Us And The Guyanese Were Always Indifferent
“Why would we let Brits take over?”
– Toronto Star
Israel Looking For Crocodile To Milk For Tears
“Israel faces ‘new Mideast’
Unfriendly government in Cairo could bring peace process to a halt”
– Toronto Star
You Had Me At Offensive
“Tories go on offensive to defend corporate tax cuts”
– Globe and Mail
Do, I, Uhh, Get A Third Option?
“O, Romeo: Is this love or Cold War paranoia?”
– Globe and Mail
He And Generalissimo Francisco Franco, Both
“Robbie Burns is dead all year round”
– National Post
In Heaven, No Team Ever Loses
“Blue Jay fans willing to put faith in the future”
– Toronto Star
After About Six Months, They Get Really Ripe
“What I learned from a year in yoga pants”
– Globe and Mail
Newspaper Wins Obscure Acronym Of Week Award
“We’re TBQRXOY!” Editor Gushes
“LIVE YOUR TFSA TO THE FULLEST”
– National Post
Remember This The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining About One Of MY Puns
“Let the oud times roll”
– Toronto Star
Next: Why Earth Falling Into The Sun Will Lead To Full Employment
“Lumber deal still good despite arbitration loss: Ottawa”
– Globe and Mail
If It Wasn’t For Those Damn Canadians!
“Canada could be a very different place”
– National Post
Don’t They Know That Method Never Works?
“Virgin withdrawing Toronto service”
– Globe and Mail
Newspaper Position Sixth Sign Of Impending Apocalypse
“We need tougher rules on foreign investment”
– National Post
Sure – If You Hit Poachers Over The Head With Statues
Hard
“Can public art help save India’s tigers?”
– Toronto Star
Canadian Exporters Balk, Claim They Don’t look Good In Trench Coats
“Increase exposure to non-U.S. markets, Carney urges exporters”
– Globe and Mail