Panhandlers Will Collect Enough Money To Buy Multinational Corporations
They’ll Lay Off Half The Work Force While Collecting Obscene Bonuses And Stock Options
People Will Die Because The Former Panhandlers Will Cut Corners In Product Design And Production
They Will Block Legislation That Would Make Their Products Environmentally Friendly
So, Not Much Will Change Really…
“What will happen without Safe Streets Act?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Montreal’s To Bear
“What about the huge cross atop Mount Royal?”
– Toronto Star
Where You Gonna Spend Your Money? In A Forest?
“Why do stores treat customers so poorly?”
– Toronto Star
If You Ever Have A Flat, The Car Will Spin Out, Crash Into A Tree And Catch Fire
Trust Us – Replacing The Tire Will Be The Least Of Your Worries!
“Hey, how come my vehicle doesn’t have a spare tire?”
– Toronto Star
Alfred E. Neuman With Anger Management Issues
“Who is Pierre Poilievre without Justin Trudeau?”
– Toronto Star
Sure: We Could Have Let Them Leave Canada
We Would Have Missed Mitsou And Mordecai, But Sometimes You Have To Make Sacrifices To Preserve The Peace
“Could we have avoided Quebec’s 1995 referendum?”
– Toronto Star
The Hives Bees Build In The Trunk
“He saw a supercar at 17 and decided he had to have one
Dan Brier’s Lamborghini coupe is bright yellow and has 500 horsepower. What’s not to like?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends: Has Dick Wolfe Based An Episode Of Law And Order On It?
If So, It Would Qualify As Both
“An Archaeological Site, or the Scene of a Crime?”
– New York Times
Never Having To Say Your Tory?
“WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN TO BE A CONSERVATIVE IN CANADA THESE DAYS?”
– Toronto Star
Colin Mochrie’s, But He’s Kind Enough To Let Us Take It Out For A Spin Every Once In A While
“Whose life is it anyway?”
– Toronto Star
Why Not Put My Masculinity In A Shredder And Call It Chicken Soup?
“Why not buy a less desirable automobile?”
– Toronto Star
Yes, But He’s Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Hoping The Line Is Out Of Service
“Is Trudeau ready to call an election?”
– Toronto Star
If 17 Stop Working, Then Where Will You Go?
“Why does a house need 18 bathrooms?”
– Toronto Star
The Internet
Nobody Ever Got Bad Advice Over The Internet…
“Where is the best place to get advice for your home reno?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Having A Mid-life Crisis: It Really Wants To Be Owned By A Circus Clown
“Fun to drive, dull interior, zany steering. What is up with this Toyota Corolla Cross?”
– Toronto Star
As I Recall, Even The Good Place Wasn’t The Good Place
“Is Threads The Good Place?”
– New York Times
To Get To The Other Side!
What…?
“Do Ontario ads cross the line?”
– Toronto Star
One Spilled Latte’s Worth – And Protesters Passed That Threshold Months Ago!
“How much protest is acceptable?”
– Toronto Star
The Government Is Doing Something Right For A Change?
“Why aren’t there more security leaks?”
– Toronto Star
Sure: Outer Space
“Is There Now Space For Social Pariahs?”
– New York Times
Boys Don’t Make Passes At Buildings That Wear Glasses
“Why the big battle over fourplexes?”
– Toronto Star
Is That A Drug Reference?
I Can’t Help But Feel That That’s A Drug Reference
“Is this the best hot hatch ever?”
– Toronto Star
Rumba Lessons
“What Happens Next for Taiwan?”
– New York Times
We Already Have A Shortage Of Hospital Beds
And Doctors
And Nurses
What’s One More Shortage Among Friends?
“TAKING OUR MEDS?
Florida sought FDA approval to import Canadian drugs. Could it lead to shortages?”
– Toronto Star
Play Pinochle?
“What will animals do in the dark?”
– Toronto Star
Are You Trying To Soften Me Up For Bad News?
Because, Honestly, It’s Not Working As Well As I Think You May Have Been Expecting
“Think the last federal election was ugly?”
– Toronto Star
Since You Asked So Nicely…
No
But We Really Do Appreciate The Pleasantness
“Can we please stop using daylight savings?”
– Toronto Star
Because Human Beings Have The Attention Span Of – SQUIRREL!
“Selective caution while true crises linger
If eclipse deserves a state of emergency, why not the long list of threats and problems we face?”
– Toronto Star