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Headlines…Just Can’t…

Which Ones?


“Israeli strikes on Gaza violated international laws, rights group says”

Toronto Star


Stop Being Divorced
(Hey! – You Get The Advice You Pay For)


“Mom of two seeks advice on dating while divorced”

Toronto Star


Government Would Try To Shut It Down, But It’s One Of The Few Bright Spots In The Nation’s Economy


“Mercenary Industry Grows in Colombia”

New York Times


Who Are You, Some Kind Of Constitutional Scholar?
You ARE A Constitutional Scholar?
You’re Part Of The Elite Trying To Destroy Our Freedom!


“There’s no charter right to endanger other people”

Toronto Star


The Exact Opposite Of My Government


“‘Stay prepared’ against COVID-19, Ford urges”

Toronto Star


If You Believe She’s Doomed, Why Don’t You Just Come Out And Say It?


“Political guts could resolve Meng’s extradition case”

Toronto Star


Oh, Yeah? Just Watch Us!


“We Cannot Just Watch Afghanistan Collapse”

New York Times


And The Overt Ugliness Of Politics


“We saw the intrinsic beauty of sports”

Toronto Star


I Thought The Whole Point Was To Get Yelly
Have You Been Watching The Same Show That I Have?


“A ‘Schitt’s Creek’ fan’s guide to a great game night
Follow these tips to ensure your evening of fun doesn’t get ‘too yelly'”

Toronto Star


Her Own Feet Would Have Been Much Less Awkward


“Gwen sets bad precedent by walking on Blake’s face”

Toronto Star


Still, You Have To Give Him Credit For Trying


“Bolsonaro May Not Destroy Brazil”

New York Times


So Is Defenestrate, But You Don’t See It In Nearly As Many Headlines!


“‘Science’ is just a word”

Toronto Star


Supply And Demand Curves Are Easier To Appreciate When Politics Isn’t Added To The Equation


“Employers who pay more say finding workers is easy”

Toronto Star


So Emphatic! Are You Sure You’re A Canadian Newspaper?


“Cities must be creative in fixing the housing crisis”

Toronto Star

“Ottawa must take over care for our seniors”


Toronto Star

“UN must act now to protect vulnerable Afghans”


Toronto Star

“Church must listen, and do the right thing”


Toronto Star

“Programs must address needs of woman entrepreneurs”


Toronto Star

“Green Party must focus on a ‘One Planet’ Canada”


Toronto Star

“Proof of vaccination must go both ways”


Toronto Star

“Quality must be priority for nationwide child care”


Toronto Star


Council Now Believes Giving Godzilla Asylum Was A Mistake


“Flooded German Village Rethink Footprint”

New York Times


I Agree – The US Should Never Have Invaded It In The First – What? That’s Not What You Mean?
Oh, Right – I Forgot You Don’t Believe In Root Causes…


“Afghanistan’s fate shouldn’t have come to this”

Toronto Star


Because Meanness Always Changes People’s Minds?


“In this pandemic, the kind thing to do is stop being nice”

Globe and Mail


Election? You Asked About An Election? Sorry – I Thought You Were Talking About Beer!


“Right time for an election? That would be now”

Toronto Star


Unfortunately, The Bare Bones Are Still Showing


“Conservatives begin to flesh out platform”

Toronto Star


Not Acting Would Have Made Many People Blue, So Stop Acting So Yellow!


“Modern Monetary Theory is the new black, but we should brace for seeing red”

Globe and Mail


Emotionally Distant And Obsessed With Wealth?


“Let’s have an Ontario Place that reflects who we are”

Toronto Star


Sit In The Next Room When They’re Being Taken
Or, Better Yet, In A Cafe Down The Street


“I hate having my photo taken!
Here are some pro tips and tricks for better portraits”

Toronto Star


Not A Problem: I Get All My News From Blogs
Does Anybody Even Publish Newspapers Any More?


“Don’t read much into N.S. win, expert says”

Toronto Star


But Trudeau’s Hair Is More Likely


“Afghan crisis could be crucial election issue”

Toronto Star


Ghosts Of Privatization Past
Boo!


“O’Toole stays vague on health-care details
Privately led ‘innovations’ offer Canadians more choice, Tory leader says”

Toronto Star


But It Was Long On Cherry Soda, So Everyone Was Satisfied


“Tribunal Winds Down Short of Answers”

New York Times


I Did – It Wasn’t Very Tasty (Especially After The Cherry Soda)


“Sitting too much? Try an ‘exercise snack'”

Toronto Star


Mask Mandates Would Probably Be Better
But The Political Response To Them Is Wholly Predictable


“Gratitude could help ease an unpredictable school year”

Toronto Star


As The Easy To Reach Arguments Are Used Up, Digging Further Down Is Inevitable


“Fossil fuel debate could get deeper”

Toronto Star


He Read The Room


“Trudeau has forsaken sunny ways for petulance and gloom”

Toronto Star


Stop Inventing New Flavours! My Mouth Hasn’t Caught Up With All The Ones We Currently Have!


“In China, The Bitter Turning To Mao”

New York Times


And, They Are Sure To Respond Appropriately…As Soon As They Stop Laughing


“Forceful action will show China that Canada is serious”

Toronto Star


In Pandemic Management, As In Comedy, Timing Is Everything


“Fourth wave ‘most definitely’ here”

Toronto Star

“A week away from easing of more restrictions”


Toronto Star


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