The Most Consequential Election…Until The Next One
So, Having His Golden Parachute Snag In The Trees Is Not An Option?
“Next PM must hit the ground running”
– Toronto Star
I’ve Decided Not To Be Taken In By False Promises About How Much My Decision Is Worth
“Democracy is about who decides, and your decision matters”
– Toronto Star
Except For The Ones Who Are Pouring “Freedom Funds” Into The Riding – Those Tories Are Panicking Like It’s 2015
“Tories ‘confident’ Poilievre will retain seat”
– Toronto Star
That’s No Way To Make Friends! Somebody Needs To Reread Their Dale Carnegie!
“Poll worker reassigned after complaints she tried to influence voters”
– Toronto Star
But Trump Has Destroyed The US Postal Service, So They May Not Get It For Several Months
“Carney’s victory sends strong message to U.S.”
– Toronto Star
“He Should Have Stuck To Rewarding His Corrupt Developer Friends,” One Insider (But Probably Not For Long) Bitterly Commented
“MP says Ford sabotaged campaign
As Tories assess loss to Liberals, including Poilievre’s own riding, some are blaming the premier”
– Toronto Star
It’s Hard When Your Nose Slides Off Your Face And Your Arms Fly Away From Your Torso
“Carney must demonstrate unity for us to succeed”
– Toronto Star
Are You Sure? Trudeau The Elder Managed To Do It While Hated By ALL The Premiers
“Can Poilievre still lead the Conservatives
No: Defeated leader can’t sustain party unity hated by two Tory premiers”
– Toronto Star
I Don’t Think Kinder And Gentler Diviseness And Performative Rhetoric Is As Attractive As You Seem To Think They Would Be
“Can Poilievre still lead the Conservatives
Yes: Voters put off by diviseness and performative rhetoric, not man himself”
– Toronto Star
But They Just Can’t Help Themselves – The Big, Blubbery Babies
“Corporate Canada shouldn’t be upset over Carney’s win”
– Toronto Star
But He Is Authentically Inauthentic!
“Poilievre lacks authenticity”
– Toronto Star
Because Differentiating Between Different Kinds Of Boring Is Such A Canadian Thing To Be Able To Do
“Why Carney is our favourite kind of boring”
– Toronto Star
Corporate Backers Says, “Good Luck With That!”
“Top New Democrats ready for a rebuild
Candidates says party must tap into grassroots membership as it recovers from a historic loss”
– Toronto Star
Do They Have A Pirate Map, Or Are They Going To Search For The Party’s Soul The Way They Play Battleship?
“Questions swirl around Poilievre’s future
Nova Scotia’s PC premier suggests federal Conservative party should ‘do some soul-searching'”
– Toronto Star
And Now, For News From The Real World…
Are You Surprised? A Good Cleaning Lady Always Knows Where The Dirt Accumulates
“Caught in compromising spot by my cleaning lady”
– Toronto Star
But A Bacon Double Cheeseburger With Extra Pickles Is Cheaper And Easier!
“Perhaps Only Faith Can Fill a Void”
– New York Times
“What Can I Say?” Putin Says. “We Wanted To Start Our May Day Celebrations Early.”
“Kyiv says Russia has hit civilians again”
– Toronto Star
Queen’s Park Is Why Toronto Can’t Have Nice Things
“Ford vows to move ahead with spa deal”
– Toronto Star
“We Try And Teach Them How To Avoid Making Me Look Bad By Getting Caught Enacting Government Policy,” Prime Minister Netanyahu Said. “Some People Just Don’t Learn, I Suppose…”
“Probe finds failures in killing of medics
Israeli deputy commander fired over shooting of 15 Palestinians in UN vehicle”
– Toronto Star
Telling Them “It’s Good For You” Will Work, Like It Always Has For Spinach
“‘Canada strong’ applies to our literature, too
Our students should be reading books that tell stories about this country”
– Toronto Star
Yeah, My Bubbe Pinched My Cheek So Hard, It Had To Be Put In A Sling For Six Weeks
I Don’t Think That’s As High A Recommendation As You Seem To Think It Is…
“What’s cooking, Grandma?
Cosy comfort food is back. These six dishes are cheek-pinching good”
– Toronto Star
As Can Joy. Or Confusion. Or Gas. Or Any Emotion, Really…
“Fear can create temptation to roll back worker rights”
– Toronto Star
So, What Else Is News?
“U.S. tariffs loom over lumber sector
Trump administration reviewing duties, plans to increase domestic production”
– Toronto Star
Cynic Warthog Is Offering Despair –
Tough Decision
“Wonder Chicken Is Offering Hope”
– New York Times