…Exhibiting An Unexpected Bout Of Modesty
“Russia confirms death of Wagner leader
Officials say genetic testing of bodies conforms to plane manifest, but offer no word on cause”
– Toronto Star
They Kept Us Further Apart From Each Other
“How lockdowns brought us closer to a cure for the common cold”
– Toronto Star
Lab Rats Never Do
“Make sure to read fine print”
– Toronto Star
Follow That Up By Shifting Them Away From Mid- And Back-line Policing And You’ll Have Real Change!
“‘FBI of the north’ model explored for RCMP
Sources say prime minister, senior Mounties support shift away from front-line policing”
– Toronto Star
One Of Which Involved A Sexist Headline
“Trudeau’s wife unwinds in post-separation snaps”
– Toronto Sun
COVIDfest – It Has A Ring To It
“Twenty years on, SARSfest still rocks”
– Toronto Star
Keeping Your Pants Up Is A Good Crime Fighting Strategy
“THE CULT OF ‘BUKELISMO’
President’s anti-crime tactics – and fashion choices are emulated by his Latin American counterparts”
– Toronto Star
Claimed He Can’t Be Prosecuted Because It Was Part Of His Duties As President
“He Held Up a Bank For His Own Money”
– New York Times
Eww! Why Did You Headline That? I Will Never Be Able To Unread It!
“Ontarians think being a Ford friend comes with benefits”
– Toronto Star
Union Advised Him: Third Time’s A Charm
“Cop charged with cigar smuggling attempt
Toronto officer was already facing allegation he had stolen cars, dead woman’s credit card”
– Toronto Star
Death Race Protest 2023
“City worker probed after car drives into protester
Incident took place at pro-car rally opposed to changes to the flow of vehicle traffic in High Park”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, This News Puts Public To Sleep
“Surgeries cancelled over lack of experts
Call for more anesthesiologists in operating rooms”
– Toronto Star
We’re Doomed, Proof #237
“Our political parties need to work together”
– Toronto Star
Foul Play Suspected
75 Year-old Turtle Questioned
Family Members Complain About “That Brazen Hussy”
“125-year-old snapping turtle found dead”
– Toronto Star
Vanilla Yogurt Was Standard – Now It’s Strawberry
“Blair touts overseeing culture change with Toronto police”
– Toronto Sun
Unfortunately, The Political System Was Not Created With The Appropriate Keyboard Command
“We must be able to undo our leaders’ errors”
– Toronto Star
Oh, There Are Plenty Of Takers
It’s Just That None Of Them Have The Winning Ticket
“No takers for $70M lottery”
– Toronto Star
I Know Narcissists Are Their Biggest Cheerleaders, And Yet…
“Trump fan leads race for next president”
– Toronto Star
I Don’t Think So – I Don’t Want To Have To Deal With The Embarrassment Of My Money Working Harder Than I Do
“Allocate every dollar to avoid ‘lazy money’
– Toronto Star
Then, They Should Have Elected A Different Government
“The people of Ontario deserve to know the truth”
– Toronto Star
The “Made In China” Label Should Have Been The First Clue
“We’ve got ‘Canadian Dream’ all wrong”
– Toronto Star
They Just Need A Little Time To Find Erno’s Nose
“Junta leader says Niger will restore civilian rule within three years”
– Toronto Star
Oh, You’re Being Too Modest
Far Too Modest
Absurdly Modest, If You Want The Truth Of It
“If Canada’s divided, that’s on Trudeau”
– Toronto Sun
We Had To Destroy The Greenbelt To Save It
“Housing crisis needs ‘war effort’ approach”
– Toronto Star
It’s Hard To Make Fun Of Coworkers Without Leaving A Trail
“Work from home never worked for me”
– Toronto Star
Claims She Didn’t Want To Ruin Surprise Of Her Son’s Second Birthday
“Mom charged with lying about gun purchases”
– Toronto Star
Don’t Expect Policies To Do It
“Land-use polices need more probing”
– Toronto Star
But It May Make The Future More Bearable For Many Present Residents
“DUNDAS STREET
Name change won’t fix past”
– Toronto Star
Blazes Are Growing Like…Well, They’re Growing A Lot!
“National wildfire strategy is needed”
– Toronto Star
Claiming Anthropogenic Climate Change Isn’t Real Is Climate Denial
Opposing The Liberals Is Just A Bonus
“Opposing the Liberals isn’t climate denial”
– Toronto Sun
How Were We To Know That It Was Actually A Rhinoceros?
“Things got weird after we found dog”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, 87% Of Conservatives In Survey Approve
“Greenbelt scandal hurts Ford, poll shows
Survey of Ontario voters finds nearly two-thirds believe premier catering to friends, supporters”
– Toronto Star