That’s What Jared Kushner Believes
Or, Is It: “There’s Still A Long Way To Go Until I Get My Piece?”
“There’s still a long way to go for real peace”
– Toronto Star
Maybe He Should Try Getting There By The Plane He Got From Qatar Instead
“Trump concedes he may not get into heaven aboard Air Force One en route to Israel”
– The Independent
But Closer To Our Heart?
“‘Further away from our goal'”
– Toronto Star
At The Rate We’re Going Backwards, Dinosaurs Should Reemerge In A Few Million Years
“Fossil fuel funding outpaces renewables”
– Toronto Star
Government Plans, Microsoft Laughs
“AI minister is all in on ‘digital sovereignty’
Canada is looking to have complete control over its data, systems, workforce and infrastructure”
– Toronto Star
The Headline Writer Is About To Lose Their House?
“Housing crisis is about to get worse”
– Toronto Star
Have You Ever Looked In The Mirror During The Deed?
“Get over the face your girlfriend makes during sex”
– Toronto Star
Millions Of Other Ontarians Wasted Their Money
“Ontario man wins $75M jackpot”
– Toronto Star
“We Had To Destroy The Party To Save It”
“How to save the NDP
Why the party needs progressive pragmatism rather than purity tests and social media clout”
– Toronto Star
Even More Shocking: Almost $122 Worth Made It To The Evidence Locker!
“More than $122M worth of pot seized in OPP bust”
– Toronto Star
But Mister Hyde Would Be Delighted To Talk About The Miracle Of Fossil Fuels
“The Carney who warned of climate change is missing”
– Toronto Star
Believes Depression Not Coming Fast Enough
“Fed Board Votes for Bank-Friendly Changes to Stress Tests”
– New York Times
Who Could Possible Have Predicted That?
Except For Everybody, I Mean…
“Contracting out city services was a mistake
It costs us more while giving us less”
– Toronto Star
Naah – The Ontario Tories Killed That In The 1980s
“The cure for our doctor shortage is common sense”
– Toronto Star
The Rest Of The City Will See That His Constituents Weren’t Exaggerating
“The one good thing about Bradford’s mayoral bid”
– Toronto Star
Aww, Why’d You Wanna Go And Spoil Pierre Poilievre’s Holiday Like That?
“This Thanksgiving, be grateful we’re not America”
– Toronto Star
Trump Takes Credit For Peace Between Pakistan And India
Leaders Try Not To Roll Their Eyes During Important Historical Moment
“Afghanistan, Pakistan commit to ceasefire”
– Toronto Star
As Usual, Nobody Wants To Acknowledge The Bull
“Consumers In China Wary to Shop”
– New York Times
Fortunately, There’s No Urgency To Improve The Housing Market
“New real estate exam stalls process
Online system launched to prevent cheating has created a bottleneck, Humber students say”
– Toronto Star
He Certainly Didn’t Drop Out Of Empty But Positive-sounding Sound Bites
“How a $700 pickup became a junk removal empire
1-800-GOT JUNK? founder dropped out of university, but he never ‘dropped out of learning’
– Toronto Star
Drug Companies, On The Other Hand, Are Looking Forward To A Whole New Generation Of Medications To Exploit
“Opioid prescriptions declining in Canada
Study shows health-care providers have ‘learned’ from overprescribing mistakes”
– Toronto Star
Is This A Harvard Lampoon Parody?
“The Dems are letting Antifa take over their cities – Trump is right to send in federal troops to maintain order”
– New York Post
Before Investors Realize How Inflated Prices Are?
“Canada should be cashing in on the AI investment boom”
– Toronto Star
It’s Almost Like Some Malign Force In The World Is Working Hard To Tank The Canadian Economy
Naah – That’s Paranoia Talking!
“Canada’s economy shrank by 0.3 per cent in August
Expert says country is teetering on a technical recession”
– Toronto Star
Fortunately, There’s A National Party That Caters To The 16 Per Cent
Did I Say “Fortunately?” I Meant, “Oh, Shit!”
“Most workers support equity efforts
Report finds 54 per cent of Canadian workers view EDI favourably, versus 16 per cent negatively”
– Toronto Star
The Department Of Homeland Security Would Like To Thank The New York Times For Making Its Propaganda Campaign Against New York Easier
Even Commie Bastard Anarchist Rags Can Be Right Once In A While
“Think N.Y. Mob Faded? Think Again.”
– New York Times