All The Clowns Moved To Politics
“Why are sitcoms at an all-time low?”
– Toronto Star
By Never Meeting
“How does a couple stay happy long term?”
– Toronto Star
You Really Need To Educate Yourself On The Subject If You Want To Earn That Degree
“A double dose of anger and betrayal
I’m protected with two shots of AstraZeneca, but to what degree?”
– Toronto Star
I Would Ask Florida Man, But He Is Stuck In The Life-sized Tribute To Donald Trump He Was Making Out Of Chewing Gum And It Could Be Hours Before The Paramedics Stop Laughing
“Miami Residents Wonder: Will Our Home Be Next?”
– New York Times
It’s Not Like We’ve Left Home…
Mother Nature is begging for help. Will we listen?”
– Toronto Star
Tsk Tsk. The Lengths Some People Will Go To Avoid Using An Interrobang…!
“Pass the salt, please!?”
– Toronto Sun
If It’s For The Olympics, In High Heels And A Dress With A Plunging Neckline
“How do I dress for golf, anyway?”
– Toronto Star
Not If You Have That Piece Of Cake With It
“Does coffee really help you lose weight?”
– Toronto Star
Kids Will Be Kids
So, Yeah
Unfortunately
“Will back-to-school ever feel the same?”
– Toronto Star
It Helps If You Own Your Own Magic Carpet
“How will travel to U.S. work?”
– Toronto Star
The Beautiful Can Afford Better Lawyers
“Why Is It OK to Discriminate Against the Ugly?”
– New York Times
I Would Welcome The City To My World
“What if Tokyo threw a party and nobody came?”
– Toronto Star
Would You Trust A Mechanic Whose Car Was Always Breaking Down?
“Should health jobs require full vaccination?”
– Toronto Star
Some People Will Eat Anything!
“Wild parsnip? What about shoulder-high poison ivy?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! Her Cats Need To Know That There Is The Possibility They May Be Moving
…And Her Husband, Too, I Guess…
“Should wife discuss new job before accepting it?”
– Toronto Star
Accept It? We’ll Make It Up If We Have To!
“Will Canada accept the good COVID-19 news?”
– Globe and Mail
They Already Have One: Smoked Peas Or Cauliflower Puree
“Will politicians listen and give seniors a real choice?”
– Toronto Star
You Can If You Like
It’s The First Day Of The Olympics, And I’m Already Sick Of Hearing About Them!
“Can we start talking about the athletes?”
– Toronto Star
Maybe If He Tried To Be The Sorcerer’s Apprentice…What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
“If Mickey can’t keep a store busy, who can?”
– Toronto Star
Up The Premier’s Butt – Is it Any Wonder Nobody Wants To Look For It?
“Where’s the school plan?”
– Toronto Star
Somebody Needs To Put The “Paleo” Back In Paleocon; Why Not Us?
“Why spend billions to fight a war we won 30 years ago?”
– Toronto Star
Martin Allejandro Of Flintlock, Michigan
“Who decides what a champion should wear?”
– Toronto Star
The Kind That Doesn’t Know What It Wants To Be When It Grows Up
“What kind of Canada will we decide to be?”
– Globe and Mail
Hit The Snooze Button And Don’t Wake Up For A Millennium Or Two
“You woke up to a climate nightmare. Now what?”
– Toronto Star
Martin Allejandro Gets His Thrills Where He Can
“Why are female Olympians still dressed to thrill?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Not Always About You
Let’s Talk About What’s Really Important – ME!
“Why were we cut out of our grandkids’ lives?”
– Toronto Star
“Charity begins at home
Family dramedy asks, why are we so mean?”
– Toronto Star
“Are we just a city for cops and cars? Climate anyone?”
– Toronto Star
“Do We Really Need So Much Plastic?”
– New York Times
“Should we clip wings of the island airport?”
– Toronto Star
“Can we be coaxed back to the downtown core?”
– Toronto Star
“We know what LTC needs; why aren’t politicians acting?”
– Toronto Star
“March into April: Have we learned nothing?”
– Toronto Star
“Will we welcome America back?”
– Toronto Star
“Will we get lost in our divisions, or find our Canadian consensus?”
– Toronto Star
The Way The Bomb Squad Confronts Suspicious Packages
“How do I confront my repressed memories?”
– Toronto Star
Sure – Just Stick A Thermostat In Everybody’s Libido And Set It To Frigid
“Can We Regulate Sex?”
– New York Times
Are You Intentionally Trying To Kill My Childhood?
And, Would It Be Much Better If It Was Unintentional…?
“A sugar tax on sodas? What about these unhealthy foods?”
– Toronto Star
Because Male Athletes Would Hurt Us If We Tried To Pull That Shit On Them
“Why are we still policing what female athletes wear?”
– Toronto Star
Will You Pay (With Your Life) If You Aren’t Tested?
“Will feds pay for test I need because of policy?”
– Toronto Star
His Olympic Medal For The Clean Jerk
“The Builder
What makes Elon Musk our moment’s most maddening and brilliant innovator?”
– Toronto Star
Just Thinking About This Question Gives Me The Cramps
“You’ve heard of a menstrual cup, what about a disc?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! It Will Remind Me Of The Time I Could Afford To Travel
“Should you buy travel insurance?
– Toronto Star