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Headlines Don’t Question Authority. But, If They Did…

Off The Cliff


“EMERGENCY PAYMENTS
What’s the next step?”

Toronto Star


I Hope So
It Really Jumped The Shark In The Fourth Season


Is the office era over?

Globe and Mail


After A Three Game Season?
There Would Be So Many Asterisks In The Record Books, You Could Start Finding Constellations In Them!


“What if this really is the year the Leafs finally win it all?”

Toronto Star


I Would Hope That It Would Be More Than A Pastime


“Is it past time to rein in the Mounties?”

Globe and Mail


Closed Minds (On The Subject Of Masks)


“What’s holding Toronto back from reopening?”

Toronto Star


Not Extending CERB Will Triple Economic Downturn (No Question Mark About It)


“Extending CERB will double budget?”

Toronto Sun


No
I’m Wondering When I Can Start Dating For The First Time
Don’t Judge


“Wondering when you can start dating again?”

Toronto Star


In The Master Bedroom – Duh!


“Where do we hang the rod when putting up curtains in our living room?”

Globe and Mail


I Might Be Able To Answer That Better If I Had A Watch…


“Isn’t it time to treat poverty as a matter of public health?”

Toronto Star


Oh, Yeah
The Nile Is Planning On Expanding Its Reach And The Mississippi Wants To Steal Some Of The Amazon’s Water Away From It


“Can rivals take advantage of Amazon’s struggles?”

Toronto Star


It Will Always Be A…State Of Mind To Me


“D.C. to become the 51st state?”

Toronto Star


That Would Depend Upon How Close To The Speed Of Light We Are Travelling


“Vaccine only months away?”

Toronto Sun


That’s Where The Importance Of Dunning Meeting Kruger Comes In


“If the specialists can’t be sure, how can we?”

Toronto Star


Nope – The Poor And The Needy In The Province Will


“Will Ford get a haircut?”

Toronto Star


Permanently Erase It As Soon As It Is Finished


“How do I protect the digital content I create?”

Globe and Mail


Absolutely! Just As Soon As We Have Chefs In Our Law Firms
And Fire Fighters In Our Dentists
And Taxidermists In Our Massage Therapists…


“Should we have police in our schools?”

Toronto Star


Yes, But, Ironically, In A Single Way


“Has Ottawa enforced its diversity rules?”

Toronto Star


Serum – Seru + Bal = ?


“How is a lip serum different from a lip balm?”

Globe and Mail


At Least Once A Week For Their Underwear


“How should police change?”

Toronto Star


Yes, Just Don’t Expect Anything More Than Chump Change…


“GEORGE FLOYD
Can America finally change?”

Toronto Star


Mmmmm…
If You Had Ever Used It, You Would Know…


“Why would cannabis be used in a skin-care product?”

Globe and Mail


Really? There’s So Much More To Parton Than That!


“Dolly to replace bronze busts?”

Toronto Star


Have I Just Been Voluntragooned Again?


“So, you want to be a coronavirus contact tracer?”

Globe and Mail


If The Players Train With Professional Boxers, It Could Make For An Interesting Addition To The Game


“Baseball is fighting to return, but is the fight even worth it?”

Toronto Star


Probably Better Than The Winds That Come Out Of Us After We Have Eaten It


“Can self-serve buffet winds of change?”

Toronto Star


You’re Asking That? Really? Like The World Isn’t Depressing Enough Right Now?


“What’s your life worth, officially?”

New York Times


The Fact That So Many Whites Aren’t Listening To It


“What about Black Lives Matter makes you uncomfortable?”

Toronto Star


Leave Confusing Clues Pointing In All Directions And Hope Miss Marple Doesn’t Show Up


“How do I ditch mystery man to save my marriage?”

Toronto Star


Honey Garlic Deep Fried Chocolate Ice Cream For Everybody!


“Can I make dessert on a barbecue grill?”

Globe and Mail


Sure
They Just Need A Bullet-proof Seating System


“Can TIFF dodge a viral bullet?”

Toronto Star


At What Point Did You Stop?


“‘At what point do I get to think about me again?'”

Toronto Star


Be Fair: You Can’t Extort Money From Closed Businesses
Meanwhile, Who’s Gonna Pay For Little Jimmy “Baby Ice Pick” Figluzzi’s Kindergarten Meals?


CERB being ripped off: CRA
Payments targeted by organized crime?”

Toronto Sun


Spend More On Hot Fudge Sundaes


“What could city do if it spent less on police?”

Toronto Star


Only If You’re Putting Down Tacks


“Is brass still the go-to metal for kitchens?”

Globe and Mail


Are You Kidding?
Some Schools Aren’t All That Committed To Teaching!


“Are schools truly committed to social justice?”

Toronto Star


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