Statement Least Likely To Be Taken Seriously By The Police
“‘I turned and the llama jumped on me'”
– Toronto Star
Purple Matter Got Caught Paying For Hookers
“How did grey matter become sexy?”
– Globe and Mail
Mother Chastises It For Bad Table Manners
“Black Hole Caught in Act of Swallowing Star”
– LiveScience.com
Especially Those Who Read Financial Punditry
“Six reasons to be optimistic about the U.S. recovery”
– Globe and Mail
“A slower recovery, not a recession”
– Globe and Mail
“Investors not always rational”
– Toronto Star
No, No: That’s How He Can Get A Library
“How Obama can get re-elected: Act like Reagan”
– Globe and Mail
If Only Death Wasn’t So…Sexy…
“Coverage cheaper when you are young and healthy
Insurance for young a tough sell”
– National Post
More About My Grandparents Than I Needed To Know, Thanks
“The night may start with shuffleboard, but it won’t be over until someone loses their jeans”
– National Post
I Guess Tums Isn’t The Answer…
“London is burning”
– headline in just about every newspaper
That Sent Us Through The Roof And Halfway To Mars!
“Believe it or not, we’re in a recovery
We just hit a speed bump, economists say”
– Toronto Star
Proving That There’s A Touch Of Hoover In All Of Us
(And, Doesn’t That Suck?)
“PM insists cuts, not stimulus, best policy”
– Globe and Mail
We Learned To Ignore A Billion Starving People
“EARTH AT SEVEN BILLION
For decades, population growth was said to spell doom for humanity. But the so-called population bomb went off and we’re still standing. What happened?”
– National Post
Well, I’m Glad We Cleared That Up
“Is this a repeat of 2008?”
– Toronto Star
“Don’t panic – it isn’t 2008”
– Toronto Star
“IT’S NOT 2008, REALLY”
– National Post
12 Copies Highly Impressive For Genre
“U.S. poet laureate sees book sales rise”
– Globe and Mail
You Mean, It HAS Another Side?
“Marketing’s sinister side”
– Toronto Star
Anything I Could Write In Response Would Just be Cheap
“Bovine beauty a world favourite
NUMEROUS AWARDS
Quebec cow has global fans ‘just like Celine Dion'”
– National Post
He Holds The Bernankes To The Kingdom
“Bernanke is seeing a silver lining
Economy solid enough to grow without more stimulus, Fed chief says”
– Toronto Star
“A little help, please: Bernanke pushes Congress on economy”
– Globe and Mail
You Mean, It Started?
“THE END OF OBAMANOMICS”
– National Post
Well – Tee Hee – I Do Work Out A Lot – Thank You For Noticing…
“The city’s best buns are in the ‘burbs”
– Globe and Mail
Making Him A Central Loudmouth
“The mayor’s political provocateur
Once easily dismissed as a fringe loudmouth, Giorgio Mammoliti is now a Ford spokesperson”
– Toronto Star
It’s Purple…It Comes In Cream Or Ointment…And, OH, OH, IT’S ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE…!
“The Elusive BIG IDEA”
– New York Times
Some People Seem To Think The World Is Ending
(Can I Have Their Ponies When They’re Gone?)
“The world isn’t ending: Sell your bonds, buy stocks”
– Globe and Mail
“Anxious investors pour into U.S., Canada bonds”
– Globe and Mail
It’s Always Been Here
Some People Just Took Longer To Appreciate It
“Has the time of the redhead finally arrived?”
– National Post
You Don’t Need A Study To Know That It Definitely Shortens Your Lifespan By An Hour
“Every Hour of TV You Watch May Shorten Your Lifespan By 22 Minutes [STUDY]”
– Mashable
Psychiatrists Appreciate Not Having To Deal With The Histrionics
“One in four psychiatric patients restrained”
– Globe and Mail
THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE REASSURING?
“Problem banks down to 865”
– Toronto Star
Who Needs Food And Shelter To Live A Fulfilling Life?
“MAKING DO WITH LESS
The age of no-frills retirement”
– National Post
Especially During A Full Moon
After A Black Cat Has Crossed Your Path
On Friday The 13th…
“Try your beginner’s luck
Market turmoil may have a lot of people tearing their hair out, but for the investment virgin it’s a good time to start a portfolio”
– Globe and Mail
Keep Them Out Of The Microwave?
“Cure for exploding watermelons”
– Toronto Star