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Headlines Couldn’t Wait For 2021 To Be Over
The Fact That They Felt The Same Way at the End of 2020 Means Nothing…

Desert Outhouse Prime Meeting Place For Terrorist Shits


“Israel strikes militant sites in Gaza strip”

Toronto Star


Vivre La France Brulante!


“Fewer cars set on fire this NYE”

Toronto Star


Too Bad We’re Such Terrible Students


“History teaches us to expect the unexpected”

Toronto Star


Marvin Flabbytubbyuglyguts, Their Imaginary Friend, Couldn’t Agree More


“Parents fear toll on kids’ mental health”

Toronto Star


With So Much Going On In The World, Who Can Sleep?


“Ford made his bed. But don’t rely on it”

Toronto Star


“At Least Now We Know Where THAT Rounding Error Is,” Zuckerberg Comments


“France fines Google, Meta $287M”

Toronto Star


Mostly About Baseball, A Little About How We Might Not Have Fought If We Had Talked First


“We Fought in War. Then We Talked.”

New York Times


Give Them Standing Desks


“Ensure our children aren’t sitting ducks”

Toronto Star


Tell My Landlord!


“Money can’t solve all our COVID challenges”

Toronto Star


If Only There Was Something They Could Take To Alleviate That Anxiety…


Tilray eyes growth in saturated market
Cannabis producers have a glut of product they are anxious to move”

Toronto Star


The Building Is Such A Tease!


“Former brothel flaunts its charms
‘Yellow Bordello’ shines with skilled recreations, painstaking DIY and historic pieces”

Toronto Star


Not Starving Is One Of My Favourites


“We love to complain about jobs, but there are benefits”

Toronto Star


You Can Tell Those Of Us Who Are Still Living About It Via Ouija Board


“Death Can Offer A Guide To Life”

New York Times


Weeeeeelllll…The Streets Do Seem Safer…


“Let the elderly boycott Ford’s for-profit homes!”

Toronto Star


Republicans Chant, “I Have A Dream! I Have A Dream!” In Hopes Of Drowning Them Out


“King family rallies for voting rights in Arizona”

Toronto Star


Tough! If It Was Good Enough For Kaiser Wilhelm, It’s Good Enough For Me!


“The old rules of war won’t help today”

– Toronto Star


It’s Good To Know We Have Faith And Charity To Fall back Upon

This Time, We Really Are Screwed, Aren’t We?


“Liberals hope for lasting power”

Toronto Star

“Vaccines inject hope into world economy”


Toronto Star

“Cool, classy. That’s the Obama I’ll miss
That wide-eyed, giddy feeling of hope in 2009 sure beats the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach right now”


Globe and Mail

Interesting images
Cops hope public help find killers”


Toronto Sun

Cancer
A new hope

Researchers have identified a cutting-edge weapon against one of the world’s deadliest diseases: the body’s own immune system”


Toronto Star

“Vegas bets that gambling’s back in business
Safety measures in place along with big hopes of recovery from calamity”


Toronto Star


Aren’t Stock Brokers Canadians, Too?


“GDP says nothing about Canadians’ well-being”

Toronto Star


Greek? I Barely Understand English!


Prepare to learn more Greek, scientists say
Omicron’s spread raises likelihood of more variants”

Toronto Star


I Would Have Taken The Plaid Pill, But It Wasn’t Offered To Me…


“Darker Days Since ‘The Matrix'”

New York Times


You Should Probably Talk To The Adults Who Want It To Go On Forever
They Have A Lot To Learn


“‘I want the pandemic to end’
Elementary, middle and high school students weigh in on Monday’s return to the classroom”

Toronto Star


Despite The Fact That Powder Made From Their Horns Is Rumoured To Be A Powerful Aphrodisiac?


“Herd of tech unicorns continues to grow”

Toronto Star


Maybe Next Pandemic


“Truck industry, Canada need to prioritize safety”

Toronto Star

“Only vaccinated can keep trucking along
As mandate comes into effect, industry groups fear supply chain issues due to driver shortages”


Toronto Star


Consequences? Por Moi?


“Demonstrate the courage of your anti-vax beliefs”

Toronto Star


They Scare The Crap Out Of People They Approach And They Shit On The Street
What’s Not To Love?


“Horses serve useful policing purposes”

Toronto Star


Effect Is Undermined By Country’s Unfortunate Ability To Hit Itself In The Forehead With Its Own Spurs


“Canada playing cowboy on Ukraine”

Toronto Star


You’ll Never Have To Worry About Taxes Again…


“Positives Follow Pandemic Struggles”

New York Times


Nothing Seems A Little…Off To You About This Story?


“Co-host Off is leaving ‘As It Happens'”

Toronto Star


You Know, Like A Four Alarm Fire Might Need A Cup Of Water To Put Out


“Your investment portfolio may require a ‘tweak'”

Toronto Star


I Hope The Bangles Are Getting Royalties For This Headline


“It’s just another pandemic Monday”

Toronto Star


I Would Suggest Training More Nurses, But Somebody Must Have Already Thought Of That
Somebody Must Have
Mustn’t Somebody Have?


“How to solve Canada’s nursing shortage”

Toronto Star


Slow Cook It


“How to avoid COVID burnout”

Toronto Star


On The Other Hand, Brutish Business Continues To Do Well


“Brexit Is Stifling British Business”

New York Times


We’re Sure He Have No Idea What We’re Confused About


“O’Toole’s vaccine remarks has us shaking our heads”

Toronto Star


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