Skip to content

Headlines are the Envy of Fashionistas Everywhere

Netanyahu Responds: “Feel Free To Hold Your Breath”


“UN chief criticizes Israel on settlements
Ban urges Netanyahu to show ‘leadership’ in pursuing peace”

Toronto Star


Sounds Like A Law Firm – The Kind That Defends Drug Dealers And Wall Street Bankers…


Barrick: Investors displeased despite company’s third quarter results”

Globe and Mail

Carrick: Get rid of debt first”


Globe and Mail

Duhatschek: Oilers still haven’t beaten a team from the west”


Globe and Mail


Anybody Keeping Track Of How Many Times?


“Global community has failed Africa”

Toronto Star


Not To Any HE Uses, Anyway


“Tory promises no service cuts”

Toronto Sun


You May Already Be A Hacker’s Victim And Not Even Know It!


“Hackers may be spying for Russia, report finds”

Toronto Star

“Retailers prepare for hack attack
Recent malware breaches have stores increasing security breach”


Toronto Star

“Phone-hacking scandal offers a cautionary tale”


Toronto Star

“Hackers attack Apple’s iCloud site in China”


Globe and Mail

“Staples investigates possible data breach”


Toronto Star

“Hackers nab Dairy Queen customers’ payment data
So-called Backoff malware affects 395 U.S. locations”


Toronto Star

“JPMorgan confirms data breach affected 76 million households”


Globe and Mail

“Thousands of Snapchat users victims of hack”


Toronto Star

“FBI issues warning on Chinese hackers
Experts linked to Beijing targeting tech companies to steal secrets bureau says”


Toronto Star

“HOME DEPOT HACK
Emails captured in privacy breach
Passwords not at risk, but customers cautioned against possible phishing scams”


Toronto Star


Sorry – I Wasn’t Paying Attention. I Was Trying To Hear What Some Guy Was Saying Was The Biggest Threat To Democracy…


“What’s the big threat to democracy? Distraction?

Toronto Star


New Zealand Responds: “What Did We Ever Do To You That You Would Do Something Like That To Us?”


“Canada backs New Zealand’s Security Council bid”

Globe and Mail


African Bull Water Tanks Can Be Especially Dangerous – Don’t Trust Them In China Shops!


“Beware of aggressive water tank tactics”

Toronto Star


And Silent Prayer: “Please Don’t Hurt Us”


“Serbia celebrates Putin with parade and decoration”

Toronto Star


For The Market, OR FOR THE HUMAN RACE?


“Looking at Ebola stocks? It may be too late”

Globe and Mail


But Reality Will Catch Up With The Neocons Eventually…


“Groupthink reinforces radical views”

Toronto Star


How Can You Stay Home If Going Home Is Not An Option?


“When it comes to IPOs, go big or stay home”

Globe and Mail


Before Investing, Take A Hit From A Bong?
No? Oh! So That’s What I’m Doing Wrong!


“Do you sell, buy or sit tight?
It pays to play market right”

Toronto Star


Fortunately, Our News Hole Is Increasingly Filled By Columns, Otherwise We Would Be Publishing Very Thin Newspapers…


“In the era of instant news, certainty must be our guide”

Globe and Mail


Nothing Like A Well Deployed Hockey Stick To Fend Off Barbarian Hordes


“Hockey stands on guard for thee”

Toronto Star


Who Are You Calling A Backwater? For Your Information, Canada Has Plenty Of Front And Side Water, Too!


“Backwater must now learn constant vigilance”

Times of London


Extraneous Headline Letterosis – Please Give Generously So We May Find A Cure!


“Littles Machines captures carefree tune of Lights rejoicing in life”

Toronto Star


Lead Guitars Prove Ineffective
Deployment Of Bass Guitars Still Being Studied


“Pop stars band together to battle Ebola”

Toronto Star


Insured Not Exactly Focused, Either…


“Insurers unready for climate shift: study”

Globe and Mail


No, But Feel Free To Pontificate As To Why We Can Or You’ll Have A Very Short Column


“Can we preserve our ideals amid endless war on terror?”

Toronto Star


No, It’s Not The Obvious One – That Would Make For A Very Short Column


“Earnings too good to be true? Here’s one reason for that”

Globe and Mail


Vegas Not Bothering To Calculate Odds Of Whose Values Will Win


“Tragedy pits Canadian values against America’s”

Toronto Star

“That syncing feeling
Canada, U. S. must work together: Obama”


Toronto Sun


The Doubled Preposition Is Used To Indicate Emphasis – Or An Inattentive Copy Editor…


“PM, Wynne break ice after after Hill attack”

Toronto Star


Because Sanity Whispers And Fear Shouts


“We can’t let the politics of fear prevail”

Toronto Star

“WHY FEAR WILL WIN”


Toronto Star


It Should Serve As Practice For The Much Harder Job Of Teaching Canadians


“Teaching immigrants to endure – even embrace – Canadian winters”

Globe and Mail


Having Waited 27 Years For This Quote, Headline Writer Can Now Retire Fulfilled


“Canadian Tire ‘on a roll right now'”

Toronto Star


They Were Too Blinded By Their Haloes To Notice The Omission…


“Approved harassment protocol didn’t cover MPs, staff”

Globe and Mail


Ah, If Only It Was That Eas – What? He’s Gone? I…I Hope You Only Use That Power For Good…


“Del Mastro must go”

Toronto Star


It Might Be Possible…If There Was A Bus Crash That Killed Three Quarters Of The Councillors
Of course, That Would Create A Very Different Crisis


“City’s transit crisis calls for a united front”

Toronto Star


Leave a Reply