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Headlines are Still Waiting for the Peace Dividend

He’ll Need More Than A Compliant Media When He Takes Berlin With His Celeb Tactics


“Karl Rove takes New York with celeb tactics”

– Globe and Mail


What Are You Talking About?
They Win Conservatives Votes Just Fine


“Tough-on-crime policies don’t work, study finds”

– Toronto Star


What If They Involve Yogurt?


“NO EXPIRY DATE ON CHASING DREAMS”

– National Post


Mmm…Dinner…Dinner Jacket – Tough Call


“These days, there’s no excuse not to own your own dinner jacket”

– Globe and Mail


Supercalafridg – Uhh, Supercabala – Supercalafraga – Supercalafornia – Oh, Dammit! Are You Sure?


“When ‘sorry’ is harder than the hardest word”

– Toronto Star


Obviously, The Country Is Moving Very Slowly…


“China moves to cool yuan dispute
As US Congress ramps up pressure, envoy to visit Washington in effort to open dialogue”

– Globe and Mail

“Hu rebuffs Obama on Yuan, says Beijing will not be pressured”


– Globe and Mail


Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Eat A Hockey – Oh


“Second company probes lead levels in hockey sticks”

– Globe and Mail


Who Is This Imposter And What Have You Done With The Former Fed Chairman?


“Greenspan says tighter rein needed on Wall St.”

– Toronto Star


Well, You Wouldn’t Want The Batch To Go Stale, Would You?


“Fresh batch of taxpayer-funded flyers in the mail
House voted to end the practice of ten-per-centers but motion has not been acted upon”

– Globe and Mail


The Preferred Term Is “Compassion Challenged”


“Don’t call me right-wing, Rossi insists”

– Toronto Star


It’s Not That We’re Not Grateful That You Saved Us From Ourselves, But…


“Massive deficits have investors on edge”

– Globe and Mail


Is That A Polite Way To Say He Has A Low Sperm Count?
Because, These Days, It’s Okay To Talk About It Openly


“His Great Big Sea is now home to two pint-sized swimmers”

– National Post


Hey! – This Might Just Work Out…For Them…Again…


“Ten more agree to ‘say on pay’
Shareholder says he’s not finished”

– Globe and Mail

“Shareholders overwhelmingly endorse exec pay
Say-on-pay voters decline to give firms a thumping on the issue”


– Globe and Mail


Pity – Lots Of Pity


“DRIPS secret to success”

– Globe and Mail


Oh, Liberal Newspaper, You’re So Adorable!
Never Grow Up!


“Don’t sell out core industries”

– Toronto Star


Sure It Dogrrblex Verblenjenhissenses – DAMMIT!


“Spontaneity doesn’t just happen”

– Globe and Mail


What Would Be The Point If It Didn’t?


“Study may have treatment implications”

– Globe and Mail


Just Don’t Ask How She Gets It Into Her


“Madonna is into coconut water”

– Toronto Star


They’re Not Eating…With Extreme Prejudice!


“MOSCOW SUICIDE BOMBING
Violent Caucasus and the iron fast”

– Globe and Mail


World Shrugs
Atlas Complains World Stealing His Gig


“RICKY MARTIN TELLS WORLD HE’S GAY”

– Toronto Star


Answering That Question Is The Subject Of My Next Book


“Abba members on reunion: ‘Why not?'”

– Globe and Mail


And, He Still Made More Than 95 Per Cent Of People On The Planet


“SunLife CEO’s pay fell 42 per cent last year”

– Globe and Mail


When, With A Majority, He Doesn’t Have To Care What Anybody Thinks?


“When is Harper going to raise a storm over real issue?”

– National Post


Headline Ranks High On Low Comprehensibility Scale


“Canada ranks high in low business costs”

– Globe and Mail


History Plans To Fake Left, Duck Right


“BRAZIL
Presidential aide resigns to make run at history”

– Toronto Star


Stupidity Also Played A Major Role


“Crisis not driven just by greed”

– National Post


Eww! Cannibals!


“Time is right for food court king to eat some rivals”

– Globe and Mail


Industry CEO Two Years Too Late


“Citi heavyweights deny role in collapse”

– Globe and Mail

“Industry CEO warns of ‘irrationality’


– Globe and Mail


But, Of Course, He Denies It Completely


“OJ could reduce impact of fast food”

– Toronto Star


Especially When They’re In Your Great Big Sea


“Count your eggs, not your chickens”

– National Post


You Go In To Remove A Wart
You Come Out With A New Spleen


“U.K. investigates 800,000 organ transplant errors”

– Toronto Star


And, How Has That Worked For Them?


“Church’s fear of scandal led to cover-ups”

– Toronto Star


And, How Is That Working Out For Them?


“Breakaway Anglican group requests union with Rome”

– National Post


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