Skip to content

Headlines Are Sorry For [INSERT DIGRESSION HERE]

I Hate To Throw Cold Water On The Virutes Of Your Editing, But…


“Debating the virutes of cold-water therapy”

Toronto Star


Film Nobody Asked For Comes To Channel Nobody Watches


Mighty Ducks reboot coming to Disney+

Toronto Sun


Premier Is Banned From All Media Appearances


“Province introduces new anti-bullying measures”

Toronto Star


Poor People Will Be Able To Afford To Eat As Well As Pay Their Rent?


“The perils of attacking income disparity through redistributive policies”

Globe and Mail


How Can You Dangle Anything From A Sidewalk?


“Sidewalk dangles a startup fund if Quayside a go”

Toronto Star


They’ll Be Sure To Kill Them When They Get There


“Washington, Beijing closing in on parts of a trade deal, U.S. says”

Globe and Mail


There Aren’t Pills For That…But There Should Be


“Campaign did little to ease business anxiety”

Toronto Star

“Trudeau’s win stokes anxiety in Alberta oil patch”


Globe and Mail


The US Will Never Accept That


“To make corrupt leaders pay, we should seize and repurpose frozen assets”

Globe and Mail


It Was To The End Of The Driveway, But Small Steps, Right?


“I went for a walk. And I didn’t hate it”

Toronto Star


How Do You Expect Me To Trust A Restaurant That Can’t Even Afford To Buy A Vowel?


Well travelled
Halifax’s Rchmnd mixes international flair with local familiarity”

Globe and Mail


He Doesn’t Trust His Natural Ability, So He Uses An App On His Phone


“Johnson turns on charm in Brexit push”

Toronto Star


In Fact, If They Could Overlook The Year Completely, That Would Be Great


“Analysts expect investors to look beyond the U.S. stock market in 2020”

Globe and Mail


Just In Indonesia?
I’ve Known About It Wherever I Have Had Tofu


“Toxic Side of Tofu in Indonesia”

New York Times


Right-wing Economists Who Demanded It And Now Renounce It Belong There, Too


“A carbon tax isn’t the only tool in the box”

Globe and Mail


Hop A Long Cassidy Derides Again!


“For Pattinson, it had to work, eventually
He’s come along way from ‘Twilight,’ and the trip has been ‘an all-consuming terror'”

Toronto Star


What A Difference An Editorial Board Makes


“Liberals choose to go to the left rather than bridge divide with the Prairies”

Globe and Mail

“Liberals ‘open to new ideas’
PM appeals for unity in throne speech as Parliament returns after divisive election”


Toronto Star


It’s Just A Happy Coincidence That It Usually Works Out That Way


“A healthy meal doesn’t have to be bland”

Toronto Star


Presidential Tweet Blows It To Hell


“U.S. makes pledge to Mexico on USMCA labour issues”

Globe and Mail


There’s Always Ford


Watch out, Trudeau
When Scheer-bashing becomes boring, it’s time to aim elsewhere”

Toronto Sun


Has To Kill A Boss And Level Up First


“Agency aims to ‘unlock funding'”

Toronto Star


Living The Dream!


“Catalyst bid makes Baker group look dubious
HBC executive chairman and his allies are plotting to grab 100% of the company with nary a penny of their own money”

Globe and Mail


Nothing Less Than A Million Dollar Donation To The Conservative Party Will Suffice


“Ontario’s London, N.Y.C. envoys must be ‘qualified'”

Toronto Star


Imagine What Their Fate Would Have Been If Beer Had Been Talking


“Champagne says two Canadians detained in China could be compensated”

Globe and Mail


Loving Meat Definitely In Your Jeans, Observation Shows


“Hating vegetables could be in your genes, study shows”

Toronto Star


That Seems Fair
The Middle Class Is Not A Class At All


“‘Middle class tax cut’ is not a tax cut at all”

Globe and Mail


Headlines Optimistic Despite Doom And Gloom


“BoC expected to hold rates steady despite strong economic data”

Globe and Mail

“Shopify surpasses BCE market cap as shares continue to surge
Software company’s value climbs to $56.2-billion despite lack of profitability, as market share and revenue expand”


Globe and Mail

“Oil prices drop as Trump fans fears of extended trade war, but more upside seen ahead for TSX energy stocks”


Globe and Mail

“Despite attack on Saudi oil facilities, global markets are unconcerned”


Globe and Mail

“Happy cannaversary! Looking back at year one of legalized pot
Despite lingering safety concerns and bumpy rollout for industry, experts point to early successes”


Toronto Star

“Boeing still predicting U.S. approval of 737 Max in 2019
Shares of plane maker rise, even as it reports a 53-per-cent drop in quarterly profit”


Globe and Mail

“Liberals fire up anti-oil rhetoric despite risk to national unity”


Globe and Mail

“Despite falling demand for potash, Nutrien is still worth the investment”


Globe and Mail


1. Get Used To Being Screwed
2. To 10. Repeat Step One


“Hard money truths for teens, young adults
These 10 tips will help high-school graduates deal with costly housing and a rough job market”

Globe and Mail


Not That We Want To To Put Too Fine A Point On It


“‘People are starting realize it’s going down for good”

Toronto Star


Worried They’ll Win Primaries Against Republican Congresspeople


“U.S. fears feral pig invasion from Canada”

Globe and Mail


But Since The Supreme Court Ruled Politicians Don’t Have To Tell The Truth, They’re Good


“Fiscal update shows Liberals can’t deliver on all promises”

Toronto Star


What Was The Ad That Featured The Tag Line, “Please Don’t Squeeze The Margin?”


“Dollarama maintains prices despite margin squeeze”

Globe and Mail


Leave a Reply