Individually, Newspapers Can Be Parochial
Combined, They’re Just Confusing
“A gift for the Grits
Having Trump in the White House is good for Trudeau”
– Toronto Sun
“Comparing Poilievre to Trump might not help Liberals, poll finds”
– Toronto Star
They Need To Learn How To Fake Enthusiasm From Office Workers
“Many remote workers have ‘absolutely no attachment, no passion, no creativity.’ says L’Oreal CEO”
– Fortune
EDIT: Newspaper Reminds Readers That Social Science Isn’t Really A Science
There. Much Better
“Science is revealing why American politics are so intensely polarized
Social scientists say polarization is increasingly based on a visceral dislike for the opposition rather than extremely divergent policy preferences.”
– Washington Post
And A Pony
Because Every Corporate CEO Secretly Yearns For A Pony
“Business group slams Trudeau policies
Letter to prime minister calls for spending restraint and faster approval of major energy projects”
– Toronto Star
Dealing With Them Is Difficult, But It’s Easier Than Dealing With The Ugly People
“Our cities have too many ugly buildings”
– Toronto Star
That’s Antisemitic!
“INDIGO LAYS OFF WORKERS AMID PUSH TO PROFITABILITY”
– National Post
Will That Help Their CEOs Get A Pony?
“Canadian firms must make it their mission to go global”
– Toronto Star
Somebody Just Has To Find A Way To Divert The Attention Of Tories So They Stop Attacking It
“Change required to help save the CBC”
– Toronto Star
That’s No Way To Talk About The Mother’s Womb!
“Baby’s arrival exposes deep fissures”
– Toronto Sun
They May Not Be Able To Define Divisive Politics, But They Know It When They See It
“Liberals paint Tories with ‘MAGA’ brush
Trudeau and his party continue to push comparisons between Poilievre and Trump”
– Toronto Star
We’re Number One!
We’re Number One!
We’re Number One!
We’re Number…Wait. What?
“Rogers overtakes Bell in complaints
Company and its brands accounted for 36% of issues in annual report”
– Toronto Star
That Should Be “Woke Ehgenda”
If You’re Going To Import Empty Rhetoric From The US, You Should At Least Try To Localize It!
“Trudeau’s failed woke agenda”
– National Post
We’ll Get On That Just As Soon As We Figure Out How To Make Other People Our Allies
“We must make technology our ally”
– Toronto Star
Fast Asleep Nightmare Study, On The Other Hand, Says, “WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE SLAUGHTERED IN OUR BEDS! WAKE UP! NOT IN A WOKE WAY, BUT…UMM…YEAH…”
“WHO NEEDS COPS?
Woke police funding study says we’re enjoying ‘downward crime rates'”
– Toronto Sun
The Last Laugh Always Goes To Steve Harvey
“AI, climate prompt concerns
More CEOS fear for their companies’ future, survey says”
– Toronto Star
By Destroying Its Most Iconic Attractions?
How Nixonian Of You!
“Rebuilding Toronto’s tourism sector”
– Toronto Star
And Speaking Of Destroying The Village To Save It…
“Eliminate rent controls to bring down prices”
– Toronto Star
Are You Calling Me A Dandelion?
“Flowers Are Evolving, And Having Less Sex”
– New York Times
The Term Also Explains How You Feel When You Discover That The Affordable Alternative To Disneyland Is A Puppet Show Next To A Truck Stop In Butthurt, Texas
“What are ‘TRAVEL DUPES’?
Interest in so-called ‘duplicates’ – budget-friendly alternative destinations – is growing”
– Toronto Star
Couldn’t We At Least Turn Down The Volume?
“Silencing Trump a bad idea”
– Toronto Star
Which Direction?
I’m Hoping To The Right After A Jump To The Left
“MPs need to step to help refugees”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! American Ignorance Of The World
“Anti-Americanism here based largely on ignorance”
– Toronto Sun
You Underestimate The Quality Of Our Partisans
“Interference inquiry no place for partisanship”
– Toronto Star
“‘Super Happy Fun Times Planet Saving Fee’ Sure To Appeal To Conservatives
“Ottawa mulling carbon pricing rebrand
Polling shows confusion among Canadians as Liberal MPs admit communications challenge”
– Toronto Star
Worker Salaries Stuck At 1974 Levels
Insiders Worry Wages Too High For Businesses To Compete For Staff
“MPP’s salaries stuck at 2008 levels
Insiders worry wages may limit candidate pool”
– Toronto Star
Can’t Forget All The Politicians Who Summer There!
“Salute to the Swamp
Florida’s Everglades are more than just alligators and other stereotypes.”
– New York Times
Sucking Your Thumb Rose Twelve Points In Light Trading
Clutching Your Blankie Has Been Suspended Pending An Investigation Of Insider Trading Allegations
“Ways to Thrive in an Uncertain World”
– New York Times