Pillow Manufacturers Raising Prices In Anticipation
“Inflation plan needs to include cushions”
– Toronto Star
Think Of All The Wonderful Interactions You Will Have With Authorities When They’re Stolen From You – Isn’t Making New Friends What Life Is All About?
“Guns sold at trade shows have key uses for us all”
– Toronto Star
You Have A Problem With Making New Friends?
Antisocial Bastard!
“Freedom is not about guns; it’s about living safely”
– Toronto Star
You Know How, In Sitcoms, Sometimes A Character Trying To Comfort Another Character Says Things That Make Them Feel Worse?
It’s Not As Funny In Real Life…
“Central bankers are just as flustered by inflation as the rest of us”
– Globe and Mail
Cha, Right! Political Science!
“The travel vaccine mandate is gone. Here’s how it happened
Liberals say decision to drop unpopular requirement was ‘guided by science'”
– Toronto Star
Authors Of Previous Studies That Show The Same Thing Have To Get To The Back Of A Forty Year Line To Sue For Plagiarism
“Corporations profiting as wages stagnate, study finds”
– Toronto Star
Enthusiastically Opening A New Front In The War On Nouns
“U.S. Federal Reserve vows ‘unconditional’ inflation war”
– Globe and Mail
Especially If You Don’t Wear Them
“Three F’s of Omicron masking
Fit, filtration and function – old cloth masks won’t cut it against contagious new variant”
– Toronto Star
Can You pick Out The Example Of Advanced Nations Problems?
“Militants attack labour camp”
– Toronto Star
“Sikh temple attacked”
– Toronto Star
“Biden tumbles off of bicycle”
– Toronto Star
You Have An Idiot For A Teacher
“The Danger of Doing Your Own Research”
– New York Times
And You Wonder Why More People Don’t Vote?
“Safeguarding our democracy”
– Toronto Star
“Focus on managing expectations”
– Toronto Star
Phew! I Was Worried That It Was Faulty Supply Chains And Corporate Greed
The System Sure Dodged A Bullet There!
“Unfolding crisis shows fault in putting biofuels before food”
– Globe and Mail
So, He’s A Politician, Then?
“Ford spoke in slogans, with few verifiable statements”
– Toronto Star
Fortunately, Shamelessness Was One Of The Few Verifiable Qualities Ford Promoted On The Campaign Trail, So We’re Good
“Ontario should be ashamed if Ford is re-elected”
– Toronto Star
If Somebody Had ‘Exaggerated’ Like That On Their Income Tax Returns, They Would Be Given Free Room And Board At A Minimum Security Rehabilitation Facility
“Rogers-Shaw deal savings ‘exaggerated,’ Competition Bureau says”
– Globe and Mail
It Doesn’t Do Much For Local Populations, Either
“The Unseen Drone Victims
Deadly remote strikes take a toll, even on the best Air Force pilots.”
– New York Times
We Know It Sounds Crazy, But Hear Us Out!
“Vacation together, and stay friends”
– Toronto Star
So It Can Be Another Disease Vector?
“Canada has to stop washing dirty money”
– Globe and Mail
Because People With Hangovers Are Less Likely To Haul Their Asses Out Of Bed And Vote?
“Blame parties for low turnout”
– Toronto Star
But If You Thought The Way We Starved Public Schools Was Brutal…
“We need to educate voters”
– Toronto Star
Sadly, For Some Men, If You Don’t Carry A Torch, You Become One
“TORONTO POLICE ARREST MAN AFTER WOMAN ALLEGEDLY SET ON FIRE IN CITY’S WEST END”
– Globe and Mail
Because Keeping Blood Inside Your Body Is Overrated
“Remembering magic of a mosquito-filled summer”
– Toronto Star
Some Mask Their Faces, Others Mask The Truth
What Truth? You May Ask
“Everyone has own approach to sensible masking”
– Toronto Star
Oh, Yeah – This Truth
“Return to normal a voluntary mass delusion”
– Toronto Star
If You Don’t Drink As Much Water, You Won’t Need To Go To The Bathroom As Often, So There Is A Logic At Work, Here…
“Our city needs to get the little things right
Failing to reopen drinking fountains and washrooms in timely manner is a troubling sign”
– Globe and Mail
Global Climate Change Makes Costume Jewellery Out Of All Our Bodies Of Water
“Lake Sawa, Iraq’s ‘pearl of the south,’ reduced to a pond”
– Toronto Star
But…Where Will All Those Electric Vehicles Park?
“Too much at stake to pave over paradise”
– Toronto Star
Only Those Who Are Paying Attention
“Behind Inflation, Some See Greed”
– New York Times
Population Responds With An Enthusiastic Poking Of Fingers In Ears And A Rousing Rendition Of, “La La La, I Can’t Hear You!”
“Health minister says mandates could return in the fall”
– Toronto Star