Skip to content

Headlines Are Grateful They Aren’t Steve Bannon (And You Can, Too!)

Cover 39

Pillow Manufacturers Raising Prices In Anticipation


“Inflation plan needs to include cushions”

Toronto Star


Think Of All The Wonderful Interactions You Will Have With Authorities When They’re Stolen From You – Isn’t Making New Friends What Life Is All About?


“Guns sold at trade shows have key uses for us all”

Toronto Star


You Have A Problem With Making New Friends?
Antisocial Bastard!


“Freedom is not about guns; it’s about living safely”

Toronto Star


You Know How, In Sitcoms, Sometimes A Character Trying To Comfort Another Character Says Things That Make Them Feel Worse?
It’s Not As Funny In Real Life…


“Central bankers are just as flustered by inflation as the rest of us”

Globe and Mail


Cha, Right! Political Science!


“The travel vaccine mandate is gone. Here’s how it happened
Liberals say decision to drop unpopular requirement was ‘guided by science'”

Toronto Star


Authors Of Previous Studies That Show The Same Thing Have To Get To The Back Of A Forty Year Line To Sue For Plagiarism


“Corporations profiting as wages stagnate, study finds”

Toronto Star


Enthusiastically Opening A New Front In The War On Nouns


“U.S. Federal Reserve vows ‘unconditional’ inflation war”

Globe and Mail


Especially If You Don’t Wear Them


“Three F’s of Omicron masking
Fit, filtration and function – old cloth masks won’t cut it against contagious new variant”

Toronto Star


Can You pick Out The Example Of Advanced Nations Problems?


“Militants attack labour camp”

Toronto Star

“Sikh temple attacked”


Toronto Star

“Biden tumbles off of bicycle”


Toronto Star


You Have An Idiot For A Teacher


“The Danger of Doing Your Own Research”

New York Times


And You Wonder Why More People Don’t Vote?


“Safeguarding our democracy”

Toronto Star

“Focus on managing expectations”


Toronto Star


Phew! I Was Worried That It Was Faulty Supply Chains And Corporate Greed
The System Sure Dodged A Bullet There!


“Unfolding crisis shows fault in putting biofuels before food”

Globe and Mail


So, He’s A Politician, Then?


“Ford spoke in slogans, with few verifiable statements”

Toronto Star


Fortunately, Shamelessness Was One Of The Few Verifiable Qualities Ford Promoted On The Campaign Trail, So We’re Good


“Ontario should be ashamed if Ford is re-elected”

Toronto Star


If Somebody Had ‘Exaggerated’ Like That On Their Income Tax Returns, They Would Be Given Free Room And Board At A Minimum Security Rehabilitation Facility


“Rogers-Shaw deal savings ‘exaggerated,’ Competition Bureau says”

Globe and Mail


It Doesn’t Do Much For Local Populations, Either


“The Unseen Drone Victims
Deadly remote strikes take a toll, even on the best Air Force pilots.”

New York Times


We Know It Sounds Crazy, But Hear Us Out!


“Vacation together, and stay friends”

Toronto Star


So It Can Be Another Disease Vector?


“Canada has to stop washing dirty money”

Globe and Mail


Because People With Hangovers Are Less Likely To Haul Their Asses Out Of Bed And Vote?


“Blame parties for low turnout”

Toronto Star


But If You Thought The Way We Starved Public Schools Was Brutal…


“We need to educate voters”

Toronto Star


Sadly, For Some Men, If You Don’t Carry A Torch, You Become One


“TORONTO POLICE ARREST MAN AFTER WOMAN ALLEGEDLY SET ON FIRE IN CITY’S WEST END”

Globe and Mail


Because Keeping Blood Inside Your Body Is Overrated


“Remembering magic of a mosquito-filled summer”

Toronto Star


Some Mask Their Faces, Others Mask The Truth
What Truth? You May Ask


“Everyone has own approach to sensible masking”

Toronto Star


Oh, Yeah – This Truth


“Return to normal a voluntary mass delusion”

Toronto Star


If You Don’t Drink As Much Water, You Won’t Need To Go To The Bathroom As Often, So There Is A Logic At Work, Here…


“Our city needs to get the little things right
Failing to reopen drinking fountains and washrooms in timely manner is a troubling sign”

Globe and Mail


Global Climate Change Makes Costume Jewellery Out Of All Our Bodies Of Water


“Lake Sawa, Iraq’s ‘pearl of the south,’ reduced to a pond”

Toronto Star


But…Where Will All Those Electric Vehicles Park?


“Too much at stake to pave over paradise”

Toronto Star


Only Those Who Are Paying Attention


“Behind Inflation, Some See Greed”

New York Times


Population Responds With An Enthusiastic Poking Of Fingers In Ears And A Rousing Rendition Of, “La La La, I Can’t Hear You!”


“Health minister says mandates could return in the fall”

Toronto Star


Leave a Reply