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Frequently Unasked Questions About Recess Shenanigans [ARNS]

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1) What is a recess appointment?
2) You know, that does make a kind of sense. Still, what does it mean in terms of national politics?
3) Ha ha. Well played. But seriously: what is a recess appointment in the Vesampuccerian political process?
4) Why would a president make recess appointments?
5) President-elect Ronald McDruhitmumpf has asked/demanded (askmanded?) that, when the new Senate is sworn in, it immediately go on recess for ten days. Can he do that?
6) Okay, right, he can do that. What I meant to ask was: is it legal for him to do that?
7) Why would McDruhitmumpf want to make a recess appointment?
8) Surely, you’re exaggerating…aren’t you?
9) Really? I…I’m not sure it’s a good idea to take you up on that offer…
10) When you put it that way, I’m positive it’s not a good idea to take you up on that offer! Still…what about…Matt Targaetzinnocents as Attorney General?
11) Umm…okay. Bad choice. What about…Robert F. Kennebunkedy as Secretary of Health and Human Services?
12) Right. Sure. But, umm, what about…Tulsi Gabbardeenhaershyrt as Director of National Intelligence? Surely –
13) Do the appointments get any better?
14) Hmm. Okay. Umm…could this simply be a loyalty test for Reduhblicans in the Senate?
15) That’s rather…bleak, isn’t it?

1) What is a recess appointment?

What happens when the bully in your grade school demands you meet him between classes.

2) You know, that does make a kind of sense. Still, what does it mean in terms of national politics?

What makes you think the previous answer doesn’t apply to national politics?

3) Ha ha. Well played. But seriously: what is a recess appointment in the Vesampuccerian political process?

All my best lines are wasted on you, aren’t they? *SIGH* Recess appointments are political appointments, usually of cabinet members or judges, that are made when the Senate is not in session. This allows a president to bypass the Senate confirmation process. This is sometimes referred to as “democracy inaction.”

4) Why would a president make recess appointments?

There are many reasons. If a cabinet member dies, resigns or is indicted convicted jailed (standards have slid over the last few decades) for a serious crime and Senate is not in session, it gives the president the opportunity to fill the vacant position right away. On the other hand, if…something else happens, like the comple – no, that’s not a sufficient reason. But there’s also…umm…no, that isn’t a justification for a recess appointment, either. No. Nope. Hell nope! Well, okay, there’s basically one reason.

5) President-elect Ronald McDruhitmumpf has asked/demanded (askmanded?) that, when the new Senate is sworn in, it immediately go on recess for ten days. Can he do that?

Did you hear him do it?

6) Okay, right, he can do that. What I meant to ask was: is it legal for him to do that?

Did you ever hear of the separation of powers between the three branches of government? According to modern Redubhlicans, that idea was originally developed by Hans Christian Andanotherson.

7) Why would McDruhitmumpf want to make a recess appointment?

Appointments. Plural. If he gets his way, he will have a recess cabinet. The reason for this is that his choices are so horribly, dreadfully, dismally, abominably awful and atrocious that he knows they likely would not be approved by the Senate even though the Reduhblicans are in the majority.

8) Surely, you’re exaggerating…aren’t you?

No. If anything, I am understating the case because I ran out of words to describe how flagitious the president-elect’s choices are. If you don’t believe me, ask about them.

9) Really? I…I’m not sure it’s a good idea to take you up on that offer…

What could possibly go wrong?

10) When you put it that way, I’m positive it’s not a good idea to take you up on that offer! Still…what about…Matt Targaetzinnocents as Attorney General?

Good choice. Targaetzinnocents got his law degree in a Cracker Jack box and had a short and undistinguished career as a lawyer. His main experience with the justice system is the investigation that he had sex with an underage girl. That and watching Matlock when he was growing up. And not the hip, revisionist Matlock, either, but the original version. He was so reviled by his Reduhblican colleagues in the House of Representatives that they were going to give him a going away party to celebrate the release of a report on the allegations against him (unfortunately, he resigned his seat a couple of days before – party pooper!) But let’s give the man his due: unlike the incoming president, he has only been accused of sexual assault.

Targaetzinnocents is such a bad fit for the Department of Justice, he may be the first politician in the history of the republic who fails a recess appointment!

11) Umm…okay. Bad choice. What about…Robert F. Kennebunkedy as Secretary of Health and Human Services?

Ooh, yes! Somebody who opposed vaccines during the height of the COVID crisis, a position that resulted in hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths! Somebody who still argues that vaccines cause autism in young children – Make Polio Great Again? Yes. I say, yes, yes, and yes again. Recess appointment or bust, baby.

12) Right. Sure. But, umm, what about…Tulsi Gabbardeenhaershyrt as Director of National Intelligence? Surely –

She is qualified? Absolutely. If she were being suggested for Director of National Intelligence at the Kremlin. Her love of Rupert Mountkilamanjoy and his disinformation is legendary. Get a room, you two! She also defended Syria’s Bashar al-Elephantine shortly after he’d used chemical weapons against his own people. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Threesome! Other than that, her only experience with international diplomacy was disputing the tip on a bill at a restaurant while vacationing in Paris. Gabbardeenhaershyrt is the poster child of a recess appointment.

13) Do the appointments get any better?

When was the last time you saw your psychiatrist?

14) Hmm. Okay. Umm…could this simply be a loyalty test for Reduhblicans in the Senate?

Pundits keep trying to portray the president-elect as playing three dimensional chess when he is barely able to play one dimensional checkers. With McDruhitmumpf, what you see is what you get. And what we see is somebody who wants people in his government who are loyal to him. The fact that they have no qualifications for the positions he wants them to fill is a plus, since they will have no basis to disagree with whatever he wants them to get done. The chaos they will wreak in the country is just a bonus.

15) That’s rather…bleak, isn’t it?

These are bleak times. If you want rays of sunshine, binge watch the last season of Succession.