With 5G networks, e-pics may be epics…
The leaders at the nudist camp considered themselves standard barers…
When one musician sues another, the case must start with a pop tort…
All dogs go to heaven, but that doesn’t mean that they stay there!
You want to deal with the haberdasher who ruined your clothes? The law suits you…
Not knowing how to answer the West Wind’s question, the North Wind replied, “Your gust is as good as mine…”
Ban the banal banana bandanna!
If I said you had a beautiful baud, would you hold your modem against me?
The activist crows thought that all birds should make common caws…
The man in the goofy animal suit wanted to cheer on the home hockey team, but he got his mascot in the zamboni…
When you finally get that song to stop rattling around in your head, it’s the end of an earworm!
You want eggs for breakfast? Omelets, go!
During times of economic uncertainty, shopping has its highs and Leowe’s…
My favourite sitcom character/fantasy town: Mork from Ankh-Morpork…
My favourite Jewish holiday/right-wing radio bloviator: Rush Hashana Limbaugh…
When the assistant cook in the five star restaurant couldn’t take any more of the boss’ abuse, he became a sue chef…
When Colin’s parents bugged him about having children, they would often say: “Go Firth and multiply…”
When the stand-up comedians went to Tim Hortons after a show, it was drollers to donuts…
My favourite place to listen to arias about food: the Gourmetropolitan Opera…
In the 1960s, the battle between emotion and intellect came down to a matter of Bob Hope over Harry Reasoner…
Voltaren? Aye, there’s the rub…
When asked to order my favourite beverage at the karaoke bar, I always sing, “Come on, get hoppy…”
When Miss Canada won the Miss World pageant, she got to sashay with the sash, eh?
“It’s a strange phrase: no one said ever,” no one said ever.
You may want to take a course on staying cool, but looseness cannot be taught…
There is no levity in longevity…
Kids these days have no idea how lucky they are! Back in my day, when we wanted internet porn, we had to calculate the bawdy body baud rate!
What would it take to top the poet in the depot of the despot of spotted t?
When it comes to choosing my favourite black comedian, I’m always stuck between a (Chris) Rock and a (Kevin) Hart place…
Trying to find signs of life on other planets? Mars will prove to be the red barren…
When invited to dinner with a cannibal, just reply: “See ya! Wouldn’t want tibia!”
The Chinese remake of the Marjorie Main classic series of movies was going to be called Ma and Pa Goda…
You may want to collect sand on the beach with your bucket, but it pails in comparison to what I’m using!
The guru who wasn’t clear on the concept of spirituality used to greet his students with a nasty namaste…
Sorry, but if you want somebody to help you gamble, you’ll have to find a bettor man than I…
A lie is a fib all grown up and ready to take on the world…
My least favourite version of the star of Breakfast at Tiffany’s: Tawdrey Hepburn…
Where did the actor learn how to speak the 80s lingo? Rad school…
You would say that about the goddess of arts and crafts? The Minerva of some people!
My favourite book about sanctions on Russia for annexing land in a neighbouring country: Crimea and Punishment…
Frank Sinatra wanted the public to know that wildebeests needed more land to live on when he sang, “Start spreading the gnus…”
I knew joining the poker game was a mistake when I saw Auntie N.T.’s anti-ante…
My favourite TV lawyer/method of storing dry food: a Perry Mason jar…
You say you’re a big fan of a specific metamorphic rock? That’s gneiss…
My favourite all night art event celebrating Easter Island: Rapa Nui Blanche…
I could talk about my past life as a female sheep, but ewe wouldn’t believe me if I told ewe…
Regignaldo considered the year he went to a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities his anno dominatrix…
If you need to hide in the desert, use camelflage…
My favourite palindromic introduction made by a block of cheese: Madem, I’m Edam…
Duck and Cover Story
