The guy who was fired from the deli went from hero to zero…
The toddlers who were fighting over a toy were having a Meeting of the “Mine!”s…
If you cannot afford the latest fashions, you can always Oscar de la Renta to own…
My favourite musical about a striped horse: Zebra the Greek…
I’ve heard you defend the remake of 21 Jump Street, but is that really the artistic Jonah Hill you want to die on?
When racists think of slavery, do they get a warm Anglo of pride?
As a long time political operative, Emmanuel knew how to Rahm a point home…
The odds on the fictional lawyer winning the trial had to be calculated for those partaking of Pari-Masonal betting…
If it had been a cat, would Charlie Brown have named his pet Snow Pea?
The type-a personality enjoyed an apres tai chi mai tai in Taipei…
The cooking show for dieters featured lo-cal news…
The zombie drill sergeant was insensitive: he kept telling recruits to “Look alive!”
I don’t want to get involved with stopping the creation of the harem watchers. Me, nix? No, eunuchs!
You don’t have to be severe to persevere…
For her portrayal of chef Julia Child, you would have expected Meryl Streep to get an Oscar nom nom nom…
With its uncertain, often hostile relationship to the rest of the country, Quebec truly is La Belle et La Bete province…
When she was chosen to star in Titanic, Kate Winslet Rose to the occasion…
I love the TV series about the young Spanish hat who travels throughout the world: Fedora the Explorer…
During the televised election debates, Prime Minister Trudeau suffered from an Ottawan complexion…
If John Wu was in charge of Canadian elections, would he have produced a ballot ballet?
When she was caught having an affair with Goofy, Mickey’s partner was referred to as ignoMinnie Mouse…
The Alagnon River knew that jealousy would get it nowhere; still, a decade later it was older, but no Yser…
When the screenwriter was a journalist, his readers used to tell him: “Give ’em Hecht, Ben!”
Why doesn’t remove mean change homes for a second time?
Why doesn’t retire mean switching from winter to summer wheels again?
Considering the popularity of her show Sisters, it was inevitable that Ward’s autobiography would be a best Sela…
After he was slapped, the breadmaker responded, “Thanks. I kneaded that…”
For climate change deniers, the end is Nye…
You can’t be a widow without an “I do…”
The virus that infects and replicates within bacteria was being obstinate, but you shouldn’t worry: it’s just a phage it’s going through…
Don’t be fooled! The character created by Maurice Leblanc was the original Arsene…
Toronto’s mayor’s personal history is quite a John Story!
Algae that wants to be better should read self-kelp books…
Getting fed up with the student’s bad playing, the guitar teacher shouted, “Don’t fret!”
When it wants to express an idea visually on twitter, the second tallest living bird in the world uses emujis…
Before he would shell out large sums for a painting, the collector of impressionist art used to demand, “Show me the Monet!”
My favourite REM song about a certain vegetable: “It’s the Endive the World as We Know It (And I Feel Hungry)…”
The comedian would have been perfectly named if only he had been called Eugene Levity…
The woman who wrote to her paramour in Greek enjoyed sharing a lover’s psi…
If Robert Pirsig had lived in Paris, would he have written Seine and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?
The Borg insisted that all of the members of the collective lift weights. They believed in resistance is futile training…
If Seinfeld had been a series about magicians, its most famous episode would have been a competition to see who was the master of their own legerdemain…
My favourite brat pack character/amusement park ride: a Ferris Bueller wheel…
My favourite card game/Charlie’s angel: Faro Fawcett…
If the sitcom had been set in Ames, it would have been called Iowan Day at a Time…
Why did the legume plant’s demise cause the dissolution of their marriage? Because their vows stated, “Lentil death do us part…”
If the wind instrument cured all illnesses, would it be called a panacea flute?
If Pete Townshend had been a cat, he would have written the song “You Petter, You Pet…”
Don’t Worry! Non-sequiturs Got You Covered
