The Voice of Doom boomed out over Baghdad: “Listen, I’m sorry to have to be the one to deliver the bad news, but another 100,000 of you are going to die. If you would please return to your homes in an orderly fashion, the random slaughter can commence…”
“Why?” Maryke asked. The six year-old would soon be incinerated by a “smart bomb” in need of remedial education, but this would not be very tragic. She was going to die in a few weeks anyway, of dysentery from drinking untreated water filled with bacteria from human waste, a legacy of the first wave of the bombing of Iraq.
“What?” the Voice of Doom, which was not used to being questioned, muttered.
“Why?”
“Uhh, well, because…” the Voice of Doom blustered, “because Saddam Hussein has been looking pretty scruffy, lately. When UN inspectors come to call, he has a three day growth of beard, and often answers the door in his undershirt or housecoat. He’s thumbing his nose at international law and order, so a lot of you are going to have to die.”
“This is nonsense,” Tariq stated. Tariq would come out of the second wave of bombing with a broken finger. Unfortunately, the city” hospitals aren’t equipped to handle tens of thousands of casualties; by the time medicine and a doctor are available, gangrene will have spread throughout his arm, which will have to be amputated.
The Voice of Doom gritted its teeth. “Look,” it roared, “I’m the Voice of Doom, and I’m telling you your country is a threat to international stability -“
“And, I say that’s nonsense,” Tariq, a university professor, argued. “The bloodbaths in Bosnia-Herzegovina and Somalia are immediate threats to international stability. Our country has already been decimated – we’re not a threat to anybody!”
“It’s not that easy,” the Voice of Doom petulantly whined. “Bosnia has unfavourable terrain…the enemy isn’t clearly defined…”
“So, summed up Gamal, “you’re planning on attacking Iraq because it’s the easiest target?” Gamal would be one of the first people killed in the second wave of bombing, but he would be almost grateful: since his home, grocery store and family were destroyed in the first wave, he didn’t feel much like living.
“That’s not true!” The Voice of Doom insisted. “There are legitimate reasons for a renewed attack on Iraq…”
“Like the fact that President Bush is 30 points behind in the opinion polls?” Gamal asked.
The Voice of Doom whispered, “Hey, look, don’t spread that around, okay?”
“It’s a brilliant campaign strategy,” Gamal commented. “Saddam is a ready victim, having already been demonized in the American press. The country is already weak from the first attack – it will be an even easier military victory than the first one, with even fewer American casualties. And, Bush, the war hero, will coast to a second term thanks to his ‘shrewd’ foreign policy.”
“No, no, no,” the Voice of Doom argued. “This is about morality!”
“Bull! It’s about politics!”
“Morality!”
“Politics!”
“Morality!”
“Politics!”
“Morality!”
“Politics!”
“Look…” the Voice of Doom, exasperated, took a deep breath. “I am the Voice of Doom. I have been responsible for the deaths of billions. I have laid waste to empires. I don’t have to stand for this!”
“I’m afraid you don’t make a very convincing case,” Aminrah, a mother of seven, meekly offers. In the second wave of bombings, she will be permanently disfigured by an airborne frying pan.
“If I had known this was going to be such a difficult job, I would never have left Lebanon!” The Voice of Doom muttered to itself, preparing to leave. “Look – I don’t have to make a convincing case,” the Voice of Doom sourly stated out loud. “Nobody said death was fair!”