When I need my morning coffee, don’t teas me!
Alaister Crowley really knew how to put the naughty in illuminati!
My favourite Star Wars character/1960s blues band: Luke Skywalker and the Apostles…
The congregation that didn’t like how its experienced priest resisted all efforts to make the church more energy efficient was ready to move on to greener pastors…
Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
When a sheep was cast as Ebenezer Scrooge, he read the famous line as: “Baa, humbug!”
My favourite comic book soap opera: The Brave and the Bold and the Beautiful…
When the Enterprise was attacked by a Medusa, Captain Kirk barked, “Statue report, Mister Sulu!”
My favourite uplifting song/downbeat song: “Life is a Highway to Hell…”
Don’t be afraid – we have too many fraids as it is…
Every family wants to be The Avengers, but most families are Doom Patrol…
If it weren’t for bad examples, I’d have no examples at all…
Want to know what’s in the appetizer you just ate? Better make a pate de FOIA gras request…
I have a face for audiobooks. (Radio is so last century!)
People who salivate when contemplating an evening of musical theatre have been subjected to opera conditioning…
The Captain who is proud of where he keeps prisoners on his ship frequently indulged in a brig brag…
The film shot around Paris’ main river had terrific mis-en-Seine…
Thank goodness for goodness!
Looking over the t-shirts, programmes and other paraphernalia, I realized I made quite a concert haul!
If Elvis had become an economist, he would have sung, “Love Me, Legal Tender…”
You say you want to go to the party, but you’re worried about spiking COVID rates now that mandates have been lifted? You know what they say: better safe than soiree…
When Raymond lost the best actor Oscar, his fans protested en Massey…
When he is hungry for cheese, you’d best give the devil his fondue…
I enjoy THC TLC on the TTC as much as the next person…TMI?
Cats have many ways of verbally communicated with their humans, but none of them are language purr say…
Apathy is just empathy that needs a rest to recover its energy…
If you don’t hire Meatloaf for the role, you will rue Aday…
If the goal is to become a pro, why do you have to sign a contract?
Never trust a moral panic study called Masturbation: A Sticky Situation…
I didn’t like that fern when I first received the plant, but I must say that over time I have grown frond of it…
The Treasury Secretary who wanted a levy on metals told his department: “It’s time to get down to brass tax…”
Those who never get a championship bout train in vain…
The successful competitive eating champion had a wicked supper cut…
To get the snail to move a little faster, should you give it a slow poke…?
My favourite Guns N’ Roses song about a playground structure for kids: “Welcome to the Jungle Gym…”
Getting drunk at or above the speed of sound requires mach beer…
When songstress King wanted to record an album of Yuletide favourites, it was naturally called “A Christmas Carole…”
When you have to explain why you brought the succulent plant to your place of work, you start by saying, “Agave at the office…”
The carpenter who completed work on the desk remarked: “I came. I buzz saw. I conquered.”
When Prince Phillip decided the country needed more orangutans, he received the monkeys to the kingdom…
The army chef who skimped on ingredients had gruel intentions…
The politician whose absence caused a suspension of Parliament could be said to have gone pro rogue…
My favourite American State/Avenger: Indiana Rigg…
The insert that corrected the typos in the poem contained Erato errata…
Stretching for the cookies that were just out of reach taught the taut tot…or so I thought…
The annual meeting of the International Clowns, Jesters and Assorted Fools Union always has a full agenduh…
Ward was choosy about her roles: it was hard to get her Sela of approval…
My favourite book about intellectual pursuits in the Alps: Yodel Escher Bach…
When Paul stepped on the scales, he couldn’t help but shout, “Anka’s aweigh!”
My favourite British city/American actor: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne Daley…
If Buddy Holly had been Canadian, he would have sung: “That’ll Be the Eh…”
Cover the Soup Tureen So the Dumplings Won’t Escape!
