1) What is the difference between misfeasance, malfeasance, underfeasance and nonfeasance?
2) What is a Parmalat?
3) What did Conrad Black’s wife, Barbara Amiel, do to earn her $276,000 salary from Hollinger International?
4) What is after hours trading?
5) Wow! That sounds amazing! How can I get me a slice of that?
6) Former Enron executive Andy Fastow was given a 10 year sentence for his role in defrauding investors of $68 billion and putting 5,600 people out of work. Does this seem fair?
7) What do you think of Hydro One paying thousands of dollars for Ontario Progressive Conservative MPs’ hunting trip?
8) Do you think it is possible that a jury can be found of people who have never heard of the charges against Martha Stewart?
9) Who is Andre Bisson?
10) No, seriously. Who is Andre Bisson?
11) You’re not going to tell me who Andre Bisson is, are you?
12) What is your opinion of former investment manager Patrick Lett, who bilked investors of $21 million?
13) What can we say about the trial of German businessmen who approved millions of dollars of allegedly unnecessary bonuses and pensions for Mannesmann AG executives after it was taken over by Vodafone PLC?
14) What can we say about the bankruptcy of Belgian chartered airline Sobelair?
1) What is the difference between misfeasance, malfeasance, underfeasance and nonfeasance?
Another hundred million dollars in lawyers fees.
Parmalat is the sound of an Italian hitting his or her forehead with his or her wallet when he or she realizes that his or her life savings have just been lost.
3) What did Conrad Black’s wife, Barbara Amiel, do to earn her $276,000 salary from Hollinger International?
Do? Do! She didn’t have to doooo anything! She was paid for her obvious and utter fabulousness!
4) What is after hours trading?
In the magical realm known as the stock market, all investors are equal, but some investors are more equal than others. To your or I, the closing bell means the end of trading, a necessary respite from the efforts of the day, an opportunity to lick our wounds and gird ourselves for the economic battles that are to come. However, to a lucky few, the closing bell is just one more opportunity to make a killing. For, when special intelligence arrives – a scandal, perhaps, or news of a successful merger – this lucky few can trade when nobody else can. Of course, the money they make is usually lost by those who are not among the select, but, well, economic inequalities were always thus.
5) Wow! That sounds amazing! How can I get me a slice of that?
If you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it.
6) Former Enron executive Andy Fastow was given a 10 year sentence for his role in defrauding investors of $68 billion and putting 5,600 people out of work. Does this seem fair?
Hmm. Fastow’s punishment works out to about $130,769,230 a week, or $778,388 an hour. Who wouldn’t want his work to be worth that? Still, the punishment does seem to be small compared to the damage Enron did. One can only imagine how much harsher Fastow’s sentence would have been had he been caught bilking California citizens while smoking marijuana.
7) What do you think of Hydro One paying thousands of dollars for Ontario Progressive Conservative MPs’ hunting trip?
Guns don’t kill pheasants, crown corporations trying to curry favour with their political bosses kill pheasants.
8) Do you think it is possible that a jury can be found of people who have never heard of the charges against Martha Stewart?
Absolutely. And, there’s a simple formula to prove it. Take the number of stars known to exist in our galaxy. Multiply that by the number of galaxies believed to exist in the universe. Now, divide that by the number of stars likely to have planets around them. Continue to divide by the number of those planets likely to have atmospheres and other conditions conducive to life. Continue to divide by the number of those planets that are likely to have evolved sufficiently to have discovered Survivor: Inuqtualut. You’ll probably end up with a number between three and 20,000. This would be the number of planets which have life forms sufficiently advanced to be jurors at the Martha Stewart trial. Of course, they are likely millions of light years away, so getting them to the courtroom in a timely fashion may be a problem. Perhaps a closed circuit television feed would help.
A figment of Conrad Black’s imagination.
10) No, seriously. Who is Andre Bisson?
The patron saint of imaginary boards of directors.
11) You’re not going to tell me who Andre Bisson is, are you?
You’re learning, grasshopper. Now, ponder this: if the announcement of the appointment of a director is made, but the announced person has not agreed to become a director, has shareholder value increased?
12) What is your opinion of former investment manager Patrick Lett, who bilked investors of $21 million?
Twenty-one million dollars? Only $21 million? Robert Milton doesn’t get out of bed for less than $21 million. Andy Fastow would eat Lett for breakfast and spit out the bankruptcy notices. No, Lett is small potatoes…and it’s a sad comment when somebody who steals $21 million can be considered small potatotes.
13) What can we say about the trial of German businessmen who approved millions of dollars of allegedly unnecessary bonuses and pensions for Mannesmann AG executives after it was taken over by Vodafone PLC?
Hollinger wannabes.
14) What can we say about the bankruptcy of Belgian chartered airline Sobelair?
Air Canada wannabes. And, how pathetic is that?