Frankie was lying asleep on the beach. In front of him, the dying embers of last night’s fire were still smoking. Frankie was probably dreaming of that big wave or that special someone, because he had a big smile on his face. It was the sort of summer night, the one with the cool breezes and beautiful cloudless skies, that could only happen in California.
Unfortunately, this was to prove to be the final night of the endless summer.
Annette ran up to Frankie, tears in her eyes. She screamed. He tried to turn over, but she put a hand on his shoulder, effectively restraining him. She screamed again. Frankie stirred, opening his eyes a little. “Oh, hi, Annette,” he said, drowsily.
Gasping for breath, tears now streaming down her cheeks, Annette was momentarily unable to speak. “Annette,” Frankie, suddenly concerned, asked, “what have you been doing? And, who with?”
“Terrible,” Annette gasped. “It’s horrible!”
Frankie smiled. “Oh, what’s wrong?” he asked. “Kim late again? Kevin eat his boxer shorts on a dare and throw up? Moondoggie -“
“Dead!” Annette sobbed. “They’re all dead!”
“What? If this is your idea of a…” Frankie, who had never had to worry about anything more serious than the advances of an amorous older neighbour, finally realized that something was wrong. “Would it help if I sang a song?”
Annette shook her head violently.
“There, there,” Frankie, still not sure what was going on, tried to be comforting. “What happened?”
“Kim had both her arms torn off,” Annette, barely able to contain her crying, stated. “Then, somebody poked her eyes out with a sharp stick! Kevin’s head was crushed by a baseball bat, and Moondoggie…”
“What happened to Moondoggie?”
“He…he was cut in half by a surfboard!”
Frankie couldn’t believe it. “What about…” he started, “what about Bob and…and Carol…and…and Ted and…”
“Dead! All battered and bloody and…and dead!”
Frankie took Annette by the shoulders and brutally shook her. “Get a hold of yourself,” he shouted. “This can’t be. Who would do something like this?”
“Jason,” Annette whispered, terribly afraid. “Oh, Frankie, what’s happening to us?”
(Author’s note: tee-hee. Actually, unknown to both Frankie and Annette, they’ve been taken out of the typical teen beach exploitation movie of the 60s and placed into the typical teen slasher exploitation movie of the 80s. Hee-hee. We’re just little devils, aren’t we? But, that’s enough explanation for now, for, unless we’re mistaken, isn’t that a guy with a hockey mask and a bloody surfboard walking over the dunes towards Frankie and Annette?)
“Look,” Frankie said, “here’s Jason. Maybe he’ll be able to explain what’s going on.”
“Keep him away from me…” Annette whimpered.
“Frankie,” Jason rasped.
“Jason, you’ve got some explaining to do,” Frankie, in his best take charge voice, insisted.
“I need your help,” Jason, his voice barely audible, croaked.
“What’s wrong, Jason?” Frankie asked.
“I…I’m having trouble getting a date,” Jason, obviously embarrassed, said.
“Have you ever considered,” Frankie asked, reasonably, “that your habit of decapitating people with your surfboard might have something to do with the fact that women won’t go out with you?”
Jason kicked at the sand. “I guess,” he admitted.
Annette screamed.
And, Annette screamed some more.
And, just as she was about to scream a third time, Annette woke up. She was on the beach, all of her friends rushing to her side, concern reflected on their faces.
“Annete,” Frankie asked, “what’s wrong?”
“I just had a horrible dream,” Annette answered. “And, you were in it, and Kim and Kevin, and Bob and Carol and Ted and -“
“Well, whatever was wrong, it’s all over now,” Moondoggie said.
“I warned you not to eat so much pizza last night,” Frankie, in a mildly reproachful tone, told Annette.
“You’re all alive!” she exclaimed, getting to her feet.
“Kevin and I have a surprise for you,” Kim, all excited, told her.
“Oh? What’s that?” Annette asked, but she already knew.
“We’re getting hitched,” Kevin blurted. Annette pretended to look surprised, but Kim and Kevin were just so much in love that it was only a matter of time before they got married.
“It’s good to be home,” Annette said to herself.
“We’re going to have a big family,” Kevin said.
“Oh, you!” Kim laughed. “We’re going to name our first girl Joan or Joanne…”
“What if it’s a boy?” Annette asked.
“Then,” Kevin replied, “We’ll call him Jason.”
Annette screamed and couldn’t stop.