Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
My perpetual motion machine broke down this afternoon and, wouldn’t you know it, it was the day after the warranty expired! Is it worth paying out of pocket to get it fixed, or should I just buy myself a new one?
Billy in Baghram
Yo, Billy,
Whether or not to have your perpetual motion machine fixed depends upon what’s wrong with it. If the Felix cyber-retention coil is burnt out, it can be fixed with a piece that costs around 37 cents – definitely worth doing. If, on the other hand, the Voorstadt diode monitor has backed up into the Frammis stadt, well, you may as well trash the sucker, cause the labour alone will cost you more than the PMM is worth!
Of course, this assumes that you have a perpetual motion machine mechanic you trust to give you an honest estimate of what the damage is, and, let me tell you, they are rare and beautiful to behold! Just try and find one north-southwest of the Poconos, south-southsouth of the Pyrenees or in the entire Arizona dessert! If you don’t have a mechanic you can trust, you may as well buy a new PMM, cause you’re bound to get soaked either way, and you may as well spend your money on something that works.
As for the warranty, you would think that with all the intelligence that goes into product design these days, they could make a machine that wouldn’t be so obvious about its built in obsolescence, wouldn’t you? Seriously! Would it kill them to make something that dies two days after the warranty expires?
Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
Sincerely,
Tom Eliot from Tonawanda
Yo, Tommy,
I’m glad you asked this question, because I, myself, the Tech Answer Guy, have sometimes wonde – heeeey! Wait a minute! Didn’t you ask Amritsar a question a couple o’ weeks back? Because, you know, I don’t do relationship questions!
The Tech Answer Guy
Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
Uhh, no. That wasn’t me. That was, uhh, Tom Eliot. I’m actually Tom S. Eliot. Completely different person.
Sincerely,
Tom S. Eliot from Tonawanda
Yo, Tommy,
That’s okay, then.
As I was saying, I was sitting around the Tech Den the other day, wondering if I should give Mrs. Tech Guy a hand programming the dishwasher, but deciding that she would never learn if she didn’t do it for herself (I do help with the drying, however – every civilized person in the world agrees that there’s nothing to be learned from that!), when suddenly, out of the blue (the Tech Answer Guy prefers cobalt grey, but we can’t always choose the colour through which our philosophical insights present themselves), I mused: where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
By the Mighty Makita Miter Saw, I thought I would never see the end of that sentence!
My first impulse was to look up knowledge on Google. But, I had a nagging sense that doing so would be to somehow miss the point of the question, and, anyway, when I tried it, I got around 1,100,000,000 results. I could be rooting around in there for years before I learned anything useful about knowledge!
Eventually, I broke down and asked Bob, the tech guru the question. As regular readers of Ask the Tech Answer Guy will know, Bob and I haven’t exactly gotten along since the digital diaphragm schism a few years back. However, I try to put the needs of my readers first, so…you’re welcome.
“Information,” the tech guru grimly answered (I always used to tell him to lighten up, you know, back when we were talking, but it never took), is like the ‘d’ in ‘birthday,’ but knowledge is the whole ‘b’ of wax.”
Yeah. Right. Helpful as always.
“Oh,” the tech guru added, “don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t capitalize the term ‘Tech Guru.’ You always were a disrespectful little snot.”
Okay. So, uhh, best guess? Claude Shannon’s back pocket. You can find the knowledge we have lost in information in Claude Shannon’s back pocket. Good luck looking for it.
The Tech Answer Guy
Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Sincerely,
Tom S. Eliot from Tonawanda
Yo, Tommy,
Okay, now you’re just pushing it.
The Tech Answer Guy
If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: never applaud when your significant other asks you to give them a hand programming the dishwasher. The Tech Answer Guy has spent many a night in a hotel so you don’t have to.