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Ask the Tech Answer Guy About the Limits of Language

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

i flibl whenever i bctrm 2 teh assfrtl. lols! Should i czzznzzst teh tchfrt, or wuld tha b 2 qibby?

Sincerely,
@baudrillardbitches from twatterville

Yo, @baudrillardbitches,

I…I’m not sure what you’re asking. Could you, perhaps, rephrase the question?

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

qibby. u know – qibby? teh opposite of teh czzznzzst of teh tchfrt?

Sincerely,
@baudrillardbitches from twatterville

Yo, @baudrillardbitches,

Nope. Still not getting it, sorry. I gather you’re posting your questions to Twatter, and, of course, they limit you to 139.27 characters. Still, you can actually communicate pretty clear messages in that space. What do you say you tell me what you are saying?

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

d00d! qibby! i cant blv ur so ooi! qibby is 2 lif wut grot is 2 fli! r u 2 old 4 dis?

Sincerely,
@baudrillardbitches from twatterville

Yo, @baudrillardbitches,

No. No, absolutely not. I am definitely not 2 old 4 dis. Dis me any time you want, dude. I mean, d00d. Only, you know, sometimes people get so comfortable speaking a particular dialect of a language that they forget that not everybody uses the same kebblestones. See what I did, there? Kebblestones. Hee hee.

So, like, qibby? Is that like, related to Kibbles? Are we talking pets, here? Or, is it some kind of acronym? You know, like…quantum interference from bible belt yobbos? Not precisely quantum interference from bible belt yobbos, obviously, but something like it.

I’m saying: can you give me a clue, here? Something, anything to work with?

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

I think @baudrillardbitches is messing with you. I don’t think that his messages mean anything – I think he’s just typing in random letters and sending them to you.

Sincerely,
Helpful from Hamilton

Yo, Helpful,

Thanks for your input, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. I think @baudrillardbitches’ twits do have meaning, I just don’t speak the lingo – dig? But, with a little help from @baudrillardbitches, I’m sure I’ll be hip to the jive talk in no time.

The Tech Answer Guy remembers when he was a Little Tech Answer Guy, we used to make up our own language to be able to say things without the teachers knowing what we were talking about. Well, the other kids did. I was usually too busy building a piston engine or motherboard for a robot that shot lasers out of its elbows. But, now that the Tech Answer Guy is a little older and a little wiser, he knows the value of being able to communicate in one’s own private language.

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

No, really, I think you’re being played. I did a Googoo search for the term qibby, and it didn’t come up with anything. Nothing. Not a single hit. You can type five random letters into Googoo, and it will usually come up with something! @baudrillardbitches is definitely making fun of you by making you look like you’re – and I’m sorry to have to say this, Tech Answer Guy, because I’m a huge fan – old and out of touch.

Sincerely,
Helpful from Hamilton

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

i don’t say ur oaoot! no no no no no! ur fibulr! Abs strngix! dont listen 2 unHfH! he scotic!

Sincerely,
@baudrillardbitches from twatterville

Yo, Helpful,

You hear that? I’m abs strngix! Okay, so, maybe you don’t understand the way new media is changing language, but I do. A little. Well, okay, so maybe not that much, but at least I’m trying to understand what the kids these days are saying. Maybe some day you will join us.

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

I tried.

Sincerely,
Helpful from Hamilton

Yo, @baudrillardbitches,

Scotic? I think that’s a bit harsh, don’t you? HfH might be a little btt (behind the times – lol!), but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be ridiculed like that. tomgw2tn (teh old must give way 2 teh new), but they should b gracious about it. After all, some day you will b the old person trying 2 understand what the younger generation is talking about. i have no doubt that you will want 2 be treeted with some modicum of respect then.

The Tech Answer Guy

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

roflao!

Sincerely,
@baudrillardbitches from twatterville

Yo, @baudrillardbitches,

I know exactly what you mean.

The Tech Answer Guy

If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: when the Tech Answer Guy says you can dis him, he doesn’t mean that you can dis him. He means that you can dis him. Context is everything.

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