Dear Dr. Political Science,
How did George Bush get to be known as “The Education President?”
Puzzled in Plattsburgh
Dear PiP,
Politics is full of unfathomable mysteries, the answers to which only come with great amounts of research (preferably using public funds) and favourable opinion polls. Is the space between Dan Quayle’s ears the closest thing we’ll come to finding a perfect vacuum on Earth? What will happen to Boris Yeltsin, President of the Russian republic, after a coup attempt forces him to leave office? How much humiliation is Michael Valpy prepared to take from Canada’s Nation (but, never Nationalistic) Newspaper?
As it happens, your question is one of the relatively easy ones to answer. George Bush is known as the Education President because he hasn’t carpet bombed any inner city American schools.
Dear Dr. Political Science,
This is really strange. I was watching the televised proceedings of the Ontario legislature – no, that’s not the strange part – when I saw Liberal MPPs attacking the New Democratic government for not sufficiently funding social institutions like schools and hospitals. Am I crazy, or wasn’t it the Liberals who were responsible for creating the mess the NDP is now saddled with?
Confused in Concord
Dear CiC,
I am not a medical doctor, so I am not qualified to judge your mental health. I can say, however, that pols who wonder why they are not held in high esteem by the public should pay close attention to the answer to this question: the rules of Parliamentary courtesy have completely broken down in this country.
In the past, there was an unwritten rule that incumbent government officials could not grill a new government on problems they were responsible for creating for at least two years (three in the case of budgetary matters). The enforcement mechanism (the knowledge that the opposition would, in time, form the government itself) was simple, but deadly effective.
This system worked well, giving new governments a grace period in which to create their own problems, and the old government an opportunity to find the bathrooms in its new offices. Its passing is a sign of how unconcerned politicians have become about their image; it’s time such hypocritical, partisan politicking was removed from Parliament and returned to the back rooms of Party headquarters where it belongs.
It should be mentioned that the Progressive Conservatives, who created the infrastructure which led to Ontario’s current problems, also closely questioned the NDP in the house. However, because the Conservatives have been reduced to a rump at Queen’s Park, nobody pays much attention to what they have to say.
Dear Dr. Political Science,
Recently, Prime Minister Brian Mulroney was reported to have sworn in the House of Commons. The next day, government House Leader Harvie Andre said that the word the Prime Minister used began with the letter “v.” So, what I want to know is, did the Prime Minister say “vucking” or “vastard?”
Quizzical in Keswick
Dear QuiK,
Progressive Conservatives are not like you or I, as their attitude towards language confirms. They refused to use the word “recession,” for instance, until over half the country was out of work. Then, the Conservatives started chanting “recovery…recovery” a mere two weeks into the recession, much like ancient people who painted pictures of animals on cave walls to help with the hunt.
As a matter of fact, the Prime Minister did use a term which most Progressive Conservatives consider obscene. He said: “Value Added Tax.”
Does something on the political scene puzzle you? Are you confused by a politician’s behaviour? If you have any questions, write to Dr. Political Science, care of this publication. But, remember: he’s not a medical doctor, so don’t ask about your Aunt Millie’s recent gall bladder operation.