Judge Responds: “That’s Mighty White Of You
Now, Get On Out Of Here, You Scamp!”
“It was the single worst personal decision of my life. I have no excuse for my actions and wish that I could take them back.”
– Bradley Ruckstales, a tech CEO, pleading guilty to participating in the January 6 insurrection
Must Be Those Time Released Sperm That Everybody’s Talking About
“Based on the analysis…the probability of paternity is 99.99991%.”
– Major Kelly Brennan’s paternity test apparently confirms that retired General Jonathan Vance fathered her child years after he said their sexual relationship ended
Trying To Drive A Bus On Tracks May Be Part Of The Problem
Although, The Vehicle Not Being Diesel Can’t Help
“I am driving the bus to get this country back on track.”
– Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole
“He can’t even convince his party that climate change is real.”
– Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole
Is Becoming? Have You Never Read A Newspaper? Or Watched A Sitcom?
“I find brokenness, I find domestic violence, and I find separation of families because of difference of opinion…COVID has revealed how destructive and vicious mankind is capable of becoming.”
– Winkler, Manitoba Mayor Martin Harder
Perhaps If You Hadn’t Hardened Your Heart When You Decided To Invade, You Wouldn’t Be In Such Anguish Now
“I’m afraid Afghan women and girls are going to suffer unspeakable harm. They’re just going to be left behind to be slaughtered by these very brutal people, and it breaks my heart.”
– former President George W. Bush
And, You Think That’s Something They Should Be Proud Of?
“Does anyone think that the United States would change the names of places and tear down statues of Washington and Jefferson because they were slave owners?”
– letter to the Toronto Star
Hard To Know Who Would Find This Graham Cracker Sandwich Palatable
“I never said he was was the best example of the Christian faith. He defends the faith. And I appreciate that very much.”
– Franklin Graham on Donald Trump
“Mister Clinton’s sin can be forgiven, but he must start by admitting to it and refraining from legalistic doublespeak. According to Scripture, the president did not have an ‘inappropriate relationship’ with Monica Lewinsky – he committed adultery.”
– Franklin Graham on Bill Clinton
“Regardless if it was true, these are two teenagers and she said no and he respected that, so I don’t know what the issue is. This is just an attempt to smear his name.”
– Franklin Graham on Christine Blasey Ford’s accusation against Brett Kavanaugh
What If Discrimination IS One Of The Values Of Quebec, Hmm…?
“Those laws are not about discrimination. They are about the values of Quebec.”
– Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, responding to criticism of Bill 21, which would ban public servants from wearing religious symbols to work, and Bill 96, which would make French the only language needed to work in the province
Or, They’re Lamenting The Loss Of Their Best Recruitment Tool
Senate Minority Leader Prefers To See The Glass Of Milk Half Curdled
“Every terrorist around the world is cheering. In Syria. In Yemen. In Africa. They’ve watched the Taliban…defeat America, in effect.”
– US Senator Mitch McConnell on the country’s withdrawal from Afghanistan
Un-Canadian? Afraid The Liberals Are Stealing Your Base?
“This pandemic election is vain, risky and selfish. In fact, it’s un-Canadian.”
– Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole
Mississippiers Prove Once Again That You Don’t Have To Be A Horse To Be A Horse’s Ass
Y’all
“You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it.”
– US Food and Drug Administration reacts to several Mississippians who were using animal anti-parasite drug Ivermectin to treat COVID
The Sound Of Silence, But In Moderation
“He said under oath many times, as well as to me personally many times, that he considers Roe to be ‘precedent upon precedent.’ To say that this case, this most recent case, in which he wrote a very careful dissent, tells you that he’s going to repeal Roe v Wade I think is absurd.”
– Senator Susan Collins in 2019 on Brett Kavanaugh
“”
– Senator Susan Collins now
Senior Conservative Party Official Delusional
Blames Lack Of Touch With Reality On Liberals
“We have never been as relentless and shameless as the Liberals, and we should be. If we’d spent two weeks attacking them on housing, they would have been fucked.”
– senior Conservative Party official
Being a Politician, I Am All Of Those Things, Too, BUT AT LEAST I’M UP FRONT ABOUT IT
Honesty Should Count For Something In This, The Worst Of All Possible Worlds
Justin Trudeau is a selfish man “who is not a feminist, not an environmentalist, not a public servant. A man who’s focused solely and squarely on himself.”
– Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole on the Prime Minister
Then, What Is The Excuse Of Bishops and Popes?
“If they wanted extra money, for the money that was given to them, they had to lie sometimes. Lie that they were abused sexually and, oop, another $50,000. It’s kind of hard if you’re poor not to lie.”
– Catholic Priest Rheal Forest on accusations of abuse by residential school survivors and other indigenous people
If Ever A Statement Required A Mouth Guard To Protect Against The Wear Of Clenched Teeth…!
“I have a great deal of respect for every country’s sovereign right to decide during COVID who can come into the country and on what terms.”
– Canadian Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland on England’s decision to maintain quarantine restrictions on Canadians travelling to that country
Wrongheaded Historical Analogies Don’t Get Any More On Somebody Else’s Shoulders Than That
“B.C.’s history hasn’t always been great, we must learn from the past and improve. This analogy may make some uncomfortable or angry but this is a hard and important conversation to have.”
– People’s Party of Canada candidate Renate Siekmann defending her comparison of vaccine passports to residential schools
Okay, We’ve Determined What You Would Do As A Jew
But, What Would You Do As An Anti-vaccine Hysteric?
(Beside Breaking Godwin’s Law, I Mean)
“As a Jew, I don’t call people Nazis lightly. But Alberta’s disgraced health minister @shandro says he’s going to send police door to door to search for unclean citizens. That’s what the Nazis did.”
– Ezra Levant