Aren’t You Glad You Asked?
“What does 2020 have in store for us?”
– Globe and Mail
“One of Canada’s top economists says a recession is likely in 2020 – here’s his advice”
– Globe and Mail
The Grudge If You Don’t Certainly Will
“Here’s why you should give gifts that will last forever”
– Toronto Star
Vegas Is Betting On Reality
“The real challenge of the next decade: retirement dreams vs. reality”
– Globe and Mail
As If They’re Not Creepy Enough!
“Robots lack the human touch”
– Toronto Star
Tired Of Working More For Less, Maybe!
“Retail sales slip as Canadian consumers look ‘a bit tired'”
– Globe and Mail
“Survey finds 40% of indebted Canadians expect to stay in hole
Spending-to-income ratio is trending negatively as 45 per cent say their expenses are increasing faster than their income”
– Globe and Mail
The Climate Isn’t Becoming Extreme – It’s Just Badly Distributed
“Jakartans returning home after floods”
– Toronto Star
“Mass evacuations under way in Australia
Navy ships begin rescue of thousands stranded on east coast as country braces for more strong winds and another rise in temperatures”
– Globe and Mail
Or, Better, Reduce Medical Waste
“Pharmaceutical industry needs to reduce plastic waste”
– Toronto Star
Not Surprising, Given All The Begetting In The Bible…
“DNA: Despite the risks involved, testing kits have become popular Christmas presents”
– Globe and Mail
Was Sharing Hair Styling Tips And Cats Tipping Over Christmas Trees Ever Really Relevant, Though? I Mean, Really?
“YouTube’s young stars are burned out
Fear of irrelevancy has some sacrificing health to post videos non-stop”
– Toronto Star
As Always, You Get What You Pay For
“Investors are betting on blowhard Boris
British equities are earning some love again as polls present a likely Conservative-majority election outcome”
– Globe and Mail
“Tory triumph could spell stock-market rally in U.K.
Johnson’s decisive victory sets stage for improvement in British stocks, according to some observers”
– Globe and Mail
There Is Nothing Certain In Life Except Death And Axes
“TORSTAR TO CLOSE STARMETRO NEWSPAPER CHAIN, LAY OFF 73 WORKERS”
– Globe and Mail
“Vox to cut 200 freelancers, citing gig-worker law”
– Toronto Star
“University of Calgary to axe 250 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Juul to cut $1-billion in costs amid effort to restructure
New CEO, tasked with fixing e-cigarette maker’s public image, says company will also cut about 650 jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Thousands of jobs lost as mill closes in Nova Scotia”
– Toronto Star
“CN to cut 1,600 jobs as trade woes hit rail business
The freight company said layoffs cold rise in future as exports have slowed because of trade tensions and a weakening economy”
– Globe and Mail
“BMO earns $1.1B, cuts 2,300 jobs
Bank raises dividend and takes $357M charge as it layss off five per cent of its workforce”
– Toronto Star
“WeWork preparing to lay off at least 4,000 people”
– Globe and Mail
“Major Alberta public sector union braces for up to 5,900 job cuts”
– Globe and Mail
“Daimler to cut at least 10,000 jobs worldwide by 2022 amid shift in technology, weak sales”
– Globe and Mail
Aliens Usually Return Relatives Before New Year’s Eve
“Parental abductions rise during holidays”
– Toronto Star
That’s Like Cutting Off Your Leg To Not Suffer A Bruise On Your Shin
I Suspect The President Isn’t As Good A Doctor As He Thinks He Is
“Trump defends U.S. air strike: says it was done to ‘stop a war'”
– Globe and Mail
Thus Ensuring At Least One Job Won’t Be Lost
“Poloz remains upbeat despite job losses”
– Toronto Star
They Already Cater To Every Bigot And Crank In The Country – How Much Bigger Could They Get‽
“Tories need to become a big-tent party”
– Globe and Mail
The Mercenary, On The Other Hand, Is Fair Game
“Don’t shoot the contractor”
– Toronto Star
Or, We Could Be On Drugs
“How the USMCA could pave the way for pot free trade
Trade deal could apply to cannabis once U.S. lowers its own controls on the substance”
– Globe and Mail
There Really Isn’t Much To Predict In A Bathroom
“Our favourite wedding trends for 2020
From edible florals and crystal favours to bathroom tarot readings”
– Toronto Star
The Fish Misbehaves From The Head Down
“Ford government pledges to be on better behaviour as Ontario legislature reopens”
– Globe and Mail
Oh. Maybe A Tarot Reading Can Have Benefits
“GOAT ON THE LAM FOUND IN THE JOHN”
– Toronto Sun
Oh, They’ll Curb It, Alright
And Sidewalk It
And Storefront It
“Automakers betting on bigger screens
Larger display sparks questions about efforts to curb distracted driving”
– Toronto Star
Which Would Make Them…Crab Cakes?
“Forget stock-market forecasts – they’re less than worthless”
– Globe and Mail
“Yeah, Yeah – When Hasn’t It?” Rest Of Canada Moans
“This decade belongs to Toronto, Tory says”
– Toronto Star
To Be Fair, Homeless Shelters Aren’t Really Homeless Shelters Any More, Either –
Are You Offering Your Spare Room?
“C’mon people – Tim Hortons isn’t a homeless shelter”
– Toronto Sun
When The Macho Posturing Ends, The Bloodshed Can Begin
“Tehran vows revenge for Baghdad attack”
– Toronto Star
“Trump vows swift reprisals if Iran strikes U.S. targets”
– Toronto Star
No Truth To Rumour Australian Radio Stations Banning Buster Poindexter’s “Hot! Hot! Hot!”
“Australian PM heckled while touring fire zone
Residents of coastal town criticize perceived inaction to aiding region”
– Toronto Star
The Country Is A Series Of Small, Smoking Holes Rather Than A Single, Deep Hole
So…There’s That…
“Afghanistan mission not a failure, despite critical report: envoy”
– Globe and Mail
Whoever Your Party Needs To Get Elected
“Who’s middle class anyway?
It turns out the ability to send your kids to hockey is actually a pretty good definition”
– Toronto Star