Thank you, Beyonce Frankenstein, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were supposed to get on a regular Air Canada flight from the Island airport to Downsview airport, but were bumped at the last minute onto a twin prop plane. It was like we were in Casablanca, but without the fog and greater moral purpose. If our experience taught us nothing else, it was that there is no such thing as perfect seat pitch!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
There Would Be A “How Anti-Zionists Win Arguments With Zionists Algorithm,” Except You Can’t
The How Zionists Win Arguments With Anti-Zionists Algorithm
| 1. | Will an anti-Zionist engage in conversation with you? | |
| NO | 2. | Find another anti-Zionist to engage in conversation with. GO TO 1 |
| 3. | Start conversation with a topic chosen from RANDOM NONSENSE TABLE A. | |
| 4. | Does the anti-Zionist respond by choosing a rebuttal from RANDOM FACT TABLE A? | |
| YES | 5. | Change conversation to a different topic chosen from RANDOM NONSENSE TABLE A. |
| NO | 6. | Continue talking. |
| 7. | Does the Anti-Zionist continue to engage? | |
| YES | GO TO 4 | |
| NO | 8. | Tell all your friends on social media that you won an argument with a Hamas Nazi. |
i. The war will be over when all of the hostages are released.
ii. Criticizing Israel is antisemitic.
Iii. Hamas started the war with the terrorist attack of October 7.
iv. Jews have a right to all the land between the sea and the river dating back thousands of years.
v. Jews who criticize Israel shouldn’t be Jews.
vi. Israel has a right to defend itself.
i. [CURRENT NUMBER] Palestinians have died during the assault on Gaza, with no end in sight.
ii. Israel bombs hospitals, schools and Mosques, all of which are war crimes.
iii. Before the resistance of October 7, Israeli Prime Minister and many of his cabinet members supported Hamas.
iv. Israel denies most aid to Gaza and targets aid convoys, both of which are war crimes.
v. Israel has different laws for its Jewish citizens than for its non-Jewish citizens, which makes it a de facto Apartheid State.
vi. Israel holds, without charge, some many for years, over 9,000 Palestinians, over half of whom are children, in its jails, which are notoriously violent
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
Talking About Jobs Americans Don’t Want To Do…
ATTENDEES NEEDED FOR RALLIES
Seeking ATTENDEES NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED!
We will pay you to attend upcoming Trump rallies. We will supply you with the uniforms of police, firefighters or other professions. Please do not show up wearing a “Blacks for Trump” shirt if you are white. You are only embarrassing yourself.
Must be a U.S. Citizen to apply. If not enough U.S. Citizens apply to fill the stadium, we will accept immigrants, but – shhh – don’t tell anybody!
SOURCE: Your Guide To Getting Jobbed
[http://on.ygtgj.com/listings/077408.qrhtml]
more
Okay, In This One Way, Maybe The Two Parties Are A Liiiiiiiittle Bit Alike
Deeply concerned: an expression intended to sound compassionate which does not commit the speaker to an action to address the problem. EXAMPLE: “I am deeply concerned by Israel’s continued destruction of Gaza.”
Thoughts and prayers: an expression intended to sound compassionate which does not commit the speaker to an action to address the problem. EXAMPLE: “My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of the latest school shooting.”
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
more
Part Of What Keeps Him Afloat Is That Gas He’s Rumoured To Pass…
So many words, so little meaning.
Let’s bracket for the moment the fact that Trump’s claim of getting environmental awards seems to come from the environment faculty of the University of Pulled It Out of My Ass. (It’s like Trump University without the lawsuits, but with a somewhat greater “Eww!”)
An argument could be made that sand and water are found in the environment, so certain methods of building with them could be considered environmentally friendly. And it could be argued that if all of the nuclear weapons in the world were to go off at once, things would get very hot (before nuclear winter made them very, very cold). But this would be mere sanewashing, and pretty desperate sanewashing at that.
The truth is that Donald Trump has long been untethered from reality. The Republican Party and their supporters in the media are clowns in a crowd on the ground running around and jumping up to catch the rope Trump is attached to, not to bring him back to the ground (what a futile effort that would be!), but to keep him from disappearing into the stratosphere.
The closer we get to the election, the more frantic the clown crowd runs around. What happens if they win? They’ll set up fans on the ground to help Trump truly get airborne. Why should anybody put up with this nonsense when you’ve got a perfectly good JD Vance waiting in the wings to take over?
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
more
Briefing Notes Indicate That If He Was Accused Of Being Immature, Poilievre Was Also Prepared To Use The “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue” Defence
In response to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s allegations in the Foreign Interference Commission hearing that foreign governments meddled in Canadian elections, including the last two Tory leadership conventions, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre shouted, “Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!”
When Prime Minister Trudeau suggested that the Tory leader needed to get a security clearance so he could see who in his party may have been affected by foreign government interference, Poilievre stuck his fingers in his ears and yelled, “Nah, nah! I Can’t hear you!”
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20241022.eladvote1022_@/BNStory/newsOops2024/]
more
If I Was Going To Lie On My Resume, I Would Choose Somewhere Like Goldman Sachs, But I’m Not Running For President, So What Do I Know?
To drive the point home that Vice President Kamala Harris did not work at a MacDonald’s restaurant when she was a teenager, Donald Trump spent a few minutes slinging fries at a MacDonald’s. To people who were loyal Trump supporters. People who had been rehearsed and whose praise for Trump was heavily scripted. Because the restaurant was actually closed for the publicity stunt. And then the campaign had to admit that, yeah, maybe there was proof that Harris actually had worked for McDonald’s when she was younger.
There is one good thing to come out of the debacle: at least Trump now has experience auditioning for his next job.
SOURCE: Not to Belabour the Point
[http://www.n2btp.com/content/1&ID=%25%22%2DT%2FRE%2C%20%0A&type=a&mr=332&CFID=723762&CFTOKIN=18757215]
more