Thank you, Carlos Restrepo Restrepo Restrepo de Restrepo, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, it cost us almost double to fill the tank of our car to drive in to work. And we blacked out for an hour and a half in the afternoon (not personally - the electricity in our neighbourhood went kablooey). And we had to walk on eggshells the whole day in order to avoid the elephant in the room (not the boss' pet who takes up her own office and has a small staff of groomers, the metaphorical pachyderm of politics). On the drive home, we thought, War is Hell!
But then, peace is Hell. Hell, life is hell! Take that, war!
Enjoy,Good evening Mister and Misses MAGA America and all ships at sea!
As the war against terrorism, drugs, weapons of mass destruction and whatever the government says is bad enters its second week, our brave boys in uniform are destroying the enemy's infrastructure at a rate never seen before in the history of warfare. Take that, Iras! And that! And another! At the rate that our boys are killing Iras, the war should be over in a matter of a week, a month tops!
Meanwhile, on the home front, although little ladies are no longer welcome on the front lines, Secretary of Military Mayhem Pete Hegseth says the gals still have a role to play in the war effort. "Girls are good for making little baby soldiers for the cause," the sexy secretary said. Sorry gals - he's taken! "It's god's plan. You have a problem with it, you have a problem with god!" There's no problem here, Mister Secretary! All MAGA Americans support the war effort 1,237 per cent!
This has been a British Pathétique-Hearst Monotone Production.
SOURCE: News is Real Newsreels
[http://www.nirninc.com/archive/^218^.htm]
more
And Our Alien Overlords Would Have Attacked Israel - We Just Couldn't Take That Chance
The Trump administration's reasons for starting a war with Iran:
Iran was thiiiiiiiis close to having a ballistic missile that could hit the United States Iran was thiiiiiiiis close to having a nuclear weapon that could hit Israel Iran supports international terrorism We are liberating the Iranian people We want regime change
Iran is antifa Iran was thiiiiiiiis close to selling out the human race to our wannabe alien overlords
SOURCE: Politics for Beginners
[http://www.politicsforbeginners.com/home.asp?did=507&dir=bb]
more
Trump Would Settle For "Trevor." Nobody Knows Why
Donald Trump says he wants to name the next Iranian leader. Sources within the White House say he wants to name him Bubba.
SOURCE: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallos
[https://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show-with-whoever]
more
Debating The Nature Of Tariffs To People Who Think The Gross National Product Is An Electronic Fart Machine Is A Contributing Factor
American employers unexpectedly cut 92,000 jobs in February, causing the unemployment rate to blip up to 4.4 per cent, even though economists had expected 60,000 new jobs. This was a contrast to January, when the economy added 126,000 jobs. On the other hand, revisions by the Labor Department showed that it overestimated December and January payrolls by 69,000 jobs, so we won't know January's actual employment number for another month.
This is why economists start drinking at 10 in the morning.
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
more
Ever Since Donald Trump Set Foot In The Oval Office And Discovered The Ultimate Grift In 1492, The - Wait, WHAT‽
President Donald J. Trump
Ever since Christopher Columbus set foot on the American continent and discovered1 the U.S.A.2 in 1492, the woke mob3 has been trying to destroy his accomplishments and tarnish his name with fake news.4 No longer will this be the case. Along with reinstating Columbus day,5 President Trump will be placing a 35 foot tall golden statue of Columbus6 at E Street near the White House.
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1140&dir=bb]
more
Friends Don't Let Friends Sell Out Their Country For - HOW MUCH‽
And the Milo Minderbinder Award for Meritorious Service to One's Self goes to...Nepo-in-law Jared Kushner.
If Kushner had just taken Saudi Arabia's $2 billion and lived happily (and silently) ever after, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I mean, it's still corruption on a massive scale: he would have only received $29.95 if he hadn't been married to the daughter of the President of the United States, the greatest grifter the world has ever known (one of the few actual accomplishments Donald Trump has but doesn't promote on social media). But it would have been easy to overlook in the rush of brutal awfulness that is Trump's second term.
But no, Kushner felt the need to publicly justify his corruption. Redefining conflicts of interest as having "experience and trusted relationships" throughout the world is like claiming that the pig you just put lipstick on is a Miss World pageant contender. You could enter the pig in the competition, but that doesn't mean anybody would fantasize about marrying it.
What Kushner refuses to acknowledge is that his special relationships are predicated on what his friends feel they can get from their financial investments in him. If they don't get value for their money, he can expect to be shunned at Ramadan celebrations and ghosted.
Of course, he'll have billions of reasons to take comfort in such a turn of events...
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
more
