ACROSS
1. The Piano Teacher’s Association you were a member of in Alberta
5. How you address women you do not know
9. Part of the Promised Land, as promised by You Know Who, so you don’t want to hear any argument
13. The daughter of Tantalus who got turned to stone like Lot’s wife (with: e)
14. JFK, the airport you would fly out of – if you ever flew – is this
15. Finnish electronics company (not that anybody should ask how you know)
16. What your grandchildren have gotten that will keep them in their graves when the Messiah comes (but, do they listen?)
17. A city in Samoa that you have always wanted to visit, much to the surprise of your children
18. Discussion of women’s health (and rights) is this as far as you are concerned
19. Because you are on a strict diet after your quadruple bypass, you have to sneak these
21. So, see 9 across already!
23. Your youngest son, the one who, at 57, you’ve given up is ever going to find himself
24. Where one goes to scientifically perfect wagering
25. A bissel antimony mixed with smidge of gallium
27. What people who give money to Nigerian princes over the Internet are going to get
31. What 34 across creates and sets free on the Internet
34. The good for nothing son you can’t quite bring yourself to disown
37. Monsters
38. Paddle
39. When did you become this?
41. What mothers always tell their children to do
42. Hannah’s state after being very calm (hide the dishes!)
44. One of 49 American States you have never lived in
45. The sun never _____________
46. Where all east European Jews originated from
48. What you have to look forward to day after day
50. Why are so many accountants Jewish? Everybody knows that we are good _______
53. The son you couldn’t be more proud of; you know, the one who became a doctor and a lawyer
56. What 34 across got for his crimes
59. Finnish artist on the DeviantArt Web site (really – we’re not asking you how you know this – your interest in Finland is your business)
61. The part of the newspaper you read every day to see if you’re still alive
62. Geneva, Great Bear and Minnetonka – you’ve been to at least one of them
64. What your children say before Shabbas
65. Your favourite filmmaker, Forman
66. A river in Spain you remember going down on your honeymoon (even though you honeymooned in Italy)
67. Money you didn’t spend in Spain (or, actually, Italy) on your honeymoon
68. The setting for your 20 down nightmares
69. Every book has one
70. Every grandchild has one
DOWN
1. All your life, you were busy as these
2. Part of one across (if you were paying attention)
3. Everything
4. You had one so painful that you had all your teeth removed because of it when you were only 35
5. The people who disappeared from your life
6. The pitiful amount of shekels the bank gives you every month
7. Your favourite actress, the very hot shiksah Madeleine (not that Hannah ever knew)
8. Mushy snow
9. The moments of a life make up this
10. Most people would think of it as a Swedish pop band; to you, it’s dad
11. The holy land
12. How suicide bombers – may they rot in hell – run
15. Encouragement for your grandsons
20. You still have nightmares that they’re going to come for you in your sleep
22. The disease that that poor Simcha Schnivitsky had – what was the name of – oh, yeah – systemic lupus erythematosus
24. Shakespeare, and others like him
26. Something you put in your hair…in the 50s
28. Knowledge, life or family
29. Why you always got out of the kitchen
30. Jets you never flew on
31. When you were young, this was the man’s relationship with his family
32. You would never cheat on Hannah because you swore this
33. Hot to ___________
35. A cowardly way to kill people (they should bomb enemies from the sky like real fighters!)
36. A movie you didn’t understand
39. The woman who first looked at you when the 4 down became too painful for you to ignore
40. If you had ever been to Sri Lanka (who remembers?), you would have seen this at the airport
43. Israel has many of this but they are purely for peaceful power (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
45. Desert dwellers
47. The Metal Exchange in London where you made a lot of money
49. ________ culpa
51. Stevenson who didn’t become President
52. As bad as they were, they were better than the leaders who came after the revolution
54. Early Zionist freedom fighters (they weren’t terrorists – they won)
55. The longest river in France (which you sometimes get confused with 66 across)
56. The men’s union that you positively refused to join
57. Good things in baseball if you’re the hitter (if you’re the pitcher, not so much)
58. Paints
59. You’re not this – you’re stern…with good reason
60. You’ve never been abducted by one of these…as far as you can remember…
63. The secret police so not nice you wanted them in this puzzle twice