Obvious, And Yet It Needed To Be Said
Eeriecon was my third US science fiction convention in the last year, the first that was close enough to drive to (thanks to Stephen and Joy Pearl, who provided the wheels and companionship). Driving, I find, is a lot like flying, only lower.
Traveling Hypefully
Borders are such silly things, aren’t they? Standing on one side, you are subject to completely different rules and customs than if you take a step and stand on the other side. For most of human history, wars have been fought over where to draw those imaginary lines. But, the lines themselves are completely arbitrary; today’s borders are a relic of long-ago political negotiations. So much fear of our neighbours, so much pointless destruction. The world would be a much better place if we could eliminate borders and enjoy our innate similarities rather than accentuate our socialized differences.
And, no, I’m not saying this just because I FORGOT MY PASSPORT AND HAD TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN A GREY BUILDING AT THE BORDER JUST TO BE LET INTO THE UNITED STATES! Homeland Security was courteous and professional, considering what a moron I was.
This is the distance between the hotel and the Canada-US border. You could push an elephant on roller skates into the lobby in less time than it took me to get through. You’ll never convince me that memory loss due to aging doesn’t have consequences – I’m a poster child for it!
Niagara? Oh, You Can’t Make Me Falls For THAT!
This was the closest I got to the Falls all weekend. Hmm…you know, the more I think about it, the more I suspect that somewhere in this picture is an explanation for why I kept waking up in the middle of the night having to go to the bathroom …
Can you spot Niagara Falls? HINT: it’s not hiding behind the bus.
Close Encounters Of The Celebrity Kind
1. Larry Niven, famed author of the Ringworld series of novels, among others, stopped by my table and politely listened to my spiel about what I do. When I quoted from Charles de Lint’s review of Alternate Reality Ain’t What It Used To Be (“This is a great little volume to leave lying in the bathroom”) and explained that the book is made up of short pieces that do not require a lot of time to read, Niven responded, “Well, I’ve got a little time…” picked up a copy of the book and began reading it in front of me.
I don’t think I have ever spent a longer three minutes at a science fiction convention in my life.
When he had finished, he put the book down, smiled, quietly said, “Thank you,” and walked away. Somewhat deflating, but it could have been worse: he could have punched me in the nose and said, “I hold you, sir, personally responsible for the death of literature!”
Larry Niven graciously agrees to a photograph. How graciously? He was about to get himself food at a Friday evening party. The man is a saint!
2. A very nice woman named Anne came to my table. I gave her my spiel, pointing out that in his review of What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children’s Toys, Charles de Lint called my first book “one of my favourite books of 2008.” In response, she smiled and said, “I know how good that can feel. One of my books made the New York Times bestsellers list.” She was Anne Bishop, and she was referring to her book Shalador’s Lady.
Somewhat deflating. Still, she took one of my books, so I consider the encounter a small victory.
Politics Is Merely Science Fiction By Other Demeans
I was listening to the radio, when what should I hear but a campaign ad for the New Democratic Party! And, I thought I was getting away from the Canadian election for a couple of days! I mean, seriously: don’t the Americans have any technology that can stop this socialist propaganda from crossing the border?
I’m Always Upchuck For New Experiences
Before this trip I had never been in a Denny’s restaurant. I know, I know, I’ve led such a sheltered life. So, I didn’t know there was such a thing as a “baconalia” (although, having been introduced to the concept, I was disappointed the waitresses weren’t serving it in togas), and I had never been tempted by a “maple bacon sundae.”
I couldn’t help but notice, though, that there was a rather large poster on the wall next to the door of the kitchen that said, “First aid for choking.” I suppose it’s good to be prepared; still, as a diner, I found the poster’s presence less than reassuring…
And, Speaking Of Food (Not To Mention Another Opportunity For Larry Niven To Prove How Gracious He Is…)
See, there was this cake. A very tasty cake, as it happened. And, part of it held the face of science fiction writer Larry Niven. I was told nobody could eat it because Niven had asked for that part for himself. Oh, the jokes about not eating Larry Niven’s face I could tell!
Grace Note
Believe it or not, this was a costume at the Masquerade. When it came on stage, it was accompanied by a lovely oral tribute to Elizabeth Sladen, the actor best known for her role in Dr. Who, who had recently passed away. No joke.
Poor Eyesight, But Excellent Taste
As the Dealer’s Room was being torn down after the convention, I got to talking about my writing to fellow Canadian Blade, who, as her name suggests, had worked security over the weekend. She quickly made it clear that she hated Jonathan Swift and wasn’t very keen on satire. “If you have something to say, say it,” she explained. “I don’t want to have to work to dig out your meaning.”
Ah.
She went on to say, however, that I was cuter than George Clooney, so clearly the woman has excellent taste!