Homer Simpson Continues Practice
“Throttle flaw not detected”
– Toronto Star
…You Have The Makings Of A Tea Party Rally
“When two self-absorbed heads are much better than one”
– Globe and Mail
But, I Already Eat So Much Bran!
“MTS dividend cut to finance fibre growth”
– National Post
Somebody Might Want Them To Deal With It?
“Why the Conservatives pretend there is no economic crisis”
– Toronto Star
Millions Respond,”Well, We Knew That Because…Mmm…Got Any Potato Chips, Man? Or, Twinkies? Anything, Really…”
“Marijuana effective in reducing pain, Montreal researchers show”
– Globe and Mail
James Cameron?
“back for MORE: Thanks to 3-D, Milla Jovovich takes on a new kind of evil”
– National Post
Exploring The Limitations Of Spellcheck One Headline At A Time
“A refugee’s long jounrey out of limbo”
– Toronto Star
Especially When We Send Five Year Olds Out To Work Down In The Mines During Recess
“Full-day kindergarten will lead to ‘stronger economy that benefits us all'”
– Globe and Mail
When You Get Evicted From Your Penthouse Suite, You’ll Be Feeling No Pain
“And if all else fails, you can drink your investment in fine wine”
– National Post
…And Why That Information Will Be Of No Use To You
“What the world’s wealthiest families learned from the downturn.”
– Globe and Mail
Don’t Take Fido For A Walk Past The Bell Lighbox
Unless You Want To Find Surprises In Your Shoes For The Next Two Weeks
“Movie stars’ pets get celebrity treatment”
– Toronto Star
I Tsk At Your Task
“Former CSIS chief tasked with thwarting migrant smuggling”
– Globe and Mail
Suggests President Stay Out Of His Theatre If He Wants To Live
“Ford summons dealers to discuss Lincoln’s future”
– Globe and Mail
Canada Weighing Waving Hands Impotently In The Air
U. S. WEIGHING NEW LUMBER COMPLAINTS”
– National Post
Perhaps They Could Start By Showing More Compassion To CANADIANS
“Liberals call on government to show more compassion toward migrants”
– Globe and Mail
And, Reeling In Regina, And Morose In Montreal, And Terrified In…
“RCMP under a cloud in Kamloops”
– Toronto Star
Plus Ca Change, Plus C’est La Fous Chose
“With mid-term elections on the horizon, Republicans in no mood to co-operate”
– Globe and Mail
Because I’ve Been Very, Very Naughty And I Need To Be Punished
“WHY I SUPPORT ROB FORD”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, It Usually Leads To Other, Less Socially Acceptable Spurts
“Growth spurt”
– National Post
They’re Fleeing In Boats!
(Country Tries Stand-up Comedy, Should Stick With Civil War)
“Tamils not fleeing in desperation: Sri Lanka”
– Toronto Star
When Did The Globe Go Multilingual?
“Cervelo becomes supplier to Hesjedal’s Garmin team”
– Globe and Mail
Because Their Behaviour Wasn’t Helping?
“Realtors launch ad campaign to improve image”
– Toronto Star
NORAD Not Doing It Well Enough Any More?
“The F-35 and the future: Someone has to watch Canadian airspace”
– Globe and Mail
Not Everybody Has Been Killed Yet
“Hopeful signs in Middle East”
– Toronto Star
Be Born To A Famous Singer And Have Perfect Genes
“Be like George Clooney”
– Sharp magazine cover
Die Another Day No Longer Just A Bond Film Title
“Basel regulators leave ‘too big to fail’ issue for another day”
– Globe and Mail
You Have A Dirty Mind
But Of Course We’ll Accept Your Reservation
“Deli marks milestone with battle of the balls”
– Toronto Star
Sounds Like The Problem Corrects Itself
“Oil glut grows as third Enbridge pipeline shut down”
– Globe and Mail
The Lesson Is Becoming Clearer, Though
“Seniors fear losing their homes, so resist help”
– Toronto Star
“It’s hard to learn your parents aren’t perfect”
– Toronto Star
As They Lose Their Nest Eggs, They’ll be Made Fun Of By Globe Columnists
“It’s a big world – you should own a piece of it
Even though global diversification didn’t protect investors from the last market meltdown, they ignore it at their peril”
– Globe and Mail
Ottawa Urges Tamils To Stop Migrating
“Tamils urge Ottawa to stop tying migrants to terrorism”
– Toronto Star
The Hiring Solution: Who Is Cheaper?
“The hiring dilemma: Deciding between veteran experience and rookie potential”
– Globe and Mail
Is Toronto Is Or Is Toronto Ain’t Your Baby?
“Is Toronto is important to you?”
– headline on a self-sponsored ad in the Toronto Star
Have They Cured Our Bigots?
“Can the liberal arts cure jihadists?”
– Globe and Mail