WEEK FIFTY-TWO AND BEYOND – A CODA
Since it started circulating on the Internet over two years ago, the shambling narrative that has come to be called the Detention Diary has polarized readers.
Some see in it signs of the decay of the greatness of the United States of America. “It has the cold, beady-eyed, rotting stench of truth,” commented Ernesto Rott-Veiler, proprietor of the conspiracy Web site If You Believe It, It Must Be True, And I Believe Everything!
Rott-Veiler unscrewed up his face in thought for a moment and added, “People like to think of government as a friendly puppy that looks up at you with big eyes and tries to lick your face. DON’T FALL FOR IT! THE SALIVA OF THE FRIENDLY GOVERNMENT PUPPY-FACE IS PURE ACID THAT WILL MELT YOUR FACE WORSE THAN THE ANGEL WHO MELTED THE FACES OF THE NAZIS AT THE END OF RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!”
Others see it as a hoax that, in a very different way, is a sign of the decay of the greatness of the United States of America. “That somebody could even imagine such a scenario is…is…is a sign of the decay of the greatness of the United States of America!” bloviated right want talk show circus ringmaster Biff Blerkin. “Every right thinking person in the country – every single one of them – knows that WE DON’T DO THAT HERE!”
Blerkin screwed up his face in thought for a moment and added, “And, if we do, we only do it to bad people who deserve it. So, there.”
Others just see it as a disjointed, repetitive narrative without a proper ending. “It was boring!” complained my seven year-old daughter Rajou. “The narrative was disjointed, the overall message – that the United States creates its own terrorist enemies – was poorly thought through and the characters were thin and inconsistent.”
Rajou screwed up her face in thought for a moment and added, “The cockroach was cute, though.”
One of the problems with the story is the inconclusive nature of its ending. We know that no government buildings were blown up in the way described in Detention Diary. What, then, are we to make of
“No, you’re wrong,” Rott-Veiler interjected. “It really did happen. Only, the government covered it up!” The government covered up the destruction of a building and the deaths of dozens, possibly hundreds of people? “They can be sneaky bastards that way.” All that death and destruction and nobody knows about it? “Well…they had help,” Rott-Veiler weakly stated. Help? “Sure. The alien ray they use during airings of Big Bang Theory to make people forget things. You know, like the war on beavers.” I didn’t know America was at war with beavers. “SEEEEEEE?”
“Okay. Alright. So, if it did happen,” Blerkin responded, “it probably ended with the narrator getting picked up by the FBI and sent to a CIA black prison site somewhere were he’ll never be able to do any harm again. This…this…this just goes to show that Bush’s War on Terror worked!”
“The writer lost his nerve and didn’t bring the story to its obvious conclusion,” Rajou, adorable in her pink pony pjs, added. “Writers can be poopyheads that way.”
Perhaps the real problem is that Americans don’t want to look at the possibility that the American government has taken for itself the power to snatch Americans directly off American streets and
“Oh, I’m all about the looking,” Rott-Veiler interrupted. Again. “Direct looking, too – none of these sideways glances for me. No, sir! I’m into unblinking staring. Invariant ogling! Intent gazing! Greater gawp – uhh, what are we looking at, again?”
“Look!” Blerkin shouted. “You can’t look at something that just isn’t there! Aristotle proved that 2,500 years ago! Or, maybe it was Galatea, my producer, just the other day. Whatever! Irrelevant! The whole torturing people meme is a conspiracy by the lamestream media to undermine our belief in the righteousness of our cause. THIS IS AMERICA! WE DON’T DO STUFF LIKE THAT! Unless we have a very good reason…”
“All this arguing about an undistinguished cultural artifact is making me sleepy,” Rajou, her eyes drooping, said. Can I watch some Dora the Explorer before I go to bed, daddy? Dora’s journey of discovery makes me laugh!”
The controversy rages on.
SOURCE: Harpo’s
[http://harpos.org/archive/2012/12/30/dd-9000052]
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