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With A Margin Of Error Of Plus Or Minus 99 Per Cent
So. The 18 month circus that was the US election has finally folded up its tent and left town. The result? The Mildly Progressive Party’s candidate has beaten the Wildly Regressive Party’s candidate for the Presidency of the United States. USA! USA! USA!
Meanwhile, a lot of people seem to be suffering from post-election poll withdrawal. Are you one of them? Not a problem. The first poll of the 2016 Presidential election shows Republican Rick Santorum ahead of Democrat Hillary Clinton by an astonishing 47 points!
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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That’s John McTernan, A Man Who Should Never Be Confused With The Director Of Die Hard
So. Yeah. That happened.
Many of the most prominent inhabitants of the Bag of Crazy lost their races for public office. For every Michele Bachmann who won, there were three Richard Mourdocks, Allan Wests and Todd Akins who lost. We will no longer have to deal with End Times preachers proclaiming: “Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem.”
Phew! I’m really looking forward to a vacation from the crazy. I think I’ll settle in on the couch in the den and watch the second season of Veronica Mars on DVD. Yeah, maybe make myself a nice cup of cocoa and
Dammit!
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Some Divorces From Reality Are Just Ugly
INT. FOX NEWS NEWSROOM – NIGHT
CHRIS WALLACE: And, I – yes, I hear that the Situation Room is calling Ohio for Obama.
KARL ROVE: Obama isn’t winning Ohio.
WALLACE: I’m sorry, Karl, but he is.
ROVE: No, he isn’t.
WALLACE: Yes, he is.
ROVE: (snorts) In what universe?
WALLACE: In…in this universe, Karl.
ROVE: No way. I make reality in this universe, and in my reality, Romney takes Ohio and beats Obama for the Presidency!
WALLACE: (laughs nervously) Now, Karl…
ROVE: My name is not Karl.
WALLACE: Sure, it is. You’re Karl Rove.
ROVE: No, I’m not. I’m Gandalf Greyvision.
WALLACE: What?
ROVE: And, this isn’t a pen, it’s a flying purple gallumphus. And, that isn’t a television camera, it’s a high definition peritoneal gland! And, I’m not speaking in English, I’m speaking in the Mandarin dialect of Swahili! And –
WALLACE: Oh, boy…
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/rovingthemultiverse.shtml]
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Fission Accomplished
How much has President Obama’s re-election put the Republicans in disarray? Mitch McConnell recently said “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a two-term president.”
SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer
[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2012Nov10.html]
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A Plague On Both Their Income Projections!
It looks more and more like the National Hockey League’s 2012/2013 season will be cancelled due to the re-election of Barack Obama as President of the United States. This is unfortunate because – heeey! Wait a minute! Not everything revolves around the American election, you know. Other things are going on in the world. Wars! Climate catastrophes! Celebrity divorces!
Okay, Obama’s victory will likely mean a depression of the markets, which may make team owners and players less willing to come back to the bargaining table. But, this crisis in hockeydom started long before the election, and there’s no reason to believe that it would have been resolved if Mitt Romney had won the election!
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml.htm#46238133664]
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A Process Which Is Nothing Like Being Simonized, Except For The Waxy Build-up
Q: Why would the Liberal Ontario government try to solve its financial problems on the backs of public sector unions, which has traditionally been a strong source of support for the party?
A: They come pre-demonized.
Q: Pre-demonized?
A: Absolutely. After decades of right-wing propaganda about public sector union members being lazy and overpaid, everybody knows that public sector union members are lazy and overpaid. So, if they have their wages frozen or their jobs privatized, it just serves the lazy and overpaid bastards right.
Q: But, aren’t we talking about the people who teach our children, fight fires and police our streets?
A: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, okay, yes. But, lazy and overpaid teachers, fire fighters and police officers.
Q: But, they provide essential services to the people of the province. Surely, most of them are hard-working men and women just trying to get by, aren’t they?
A: You have no idea how pre-demonization is supposed to work, do you?
SOURCE: The Matrixxx
[http://www.thematrixxxto.com/politics/provincial/better-the-pre-demon-you-know/]
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Underhanded Over The Rainbow?
2 to tangle) How could you tell from the very first episode that the CBC’s Over the Rainbow was going to be won by Danielle Wade?
a) Andrew Lloyd Webber wore a “Go, Danielle, Go!” t-shirt
b) Louise Pitre snorted whenever anybody else sang the title song
c) hands would trip the other contestants as they made their way onto the stage to be judged on their poise
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Okay, You’re Old-fashioned.
Ha Ha Ha Ha – Umm, What…What Are You Doing With That Sledgehammer?
Wary consumers have been asking how they can turn their high monthly cellphone fees into monthly savings. “Biz Whiz,” they ask, “how I can turn my high monthly cellphone fees into monthly savings?” You would actually be surprised at how easy it is.
Some people melt their cellphones down and contribute the resulting chemical goo to a collective art project that will eventually result in a 12 foot high statue of Alexander Graham Bell. I suppose that this appeals to people with an artistic bent, but the Biz Whiz’ preferred method of saving money on cellphone bills is to take a sledgehammer to the communications device.
Call me old-fashioned, but I find physical destruction the most satisfying way of dealing with this kind of problem.
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=42322641316441314686fx]
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