Thank you, Lucy Lucite, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we wrote this before the American election took place. We’re pleased to announce that Barack Obama has won a second term. Unless we’re pleased to announce that Mitt Romney has won his first term. You’re not going to catch us having a “Dewey wins!” moment! What we can say with some confidence is that the country will continue to be divided, the wealthy will continue to benefit from the country being divided and adaptations of “unfilmable” books will still be disappointments with critics, if not at the box office.
Politics is not for the squeamish.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
True Love/A Woman With Mutant Powers – It Can Be Such A Fine Line…
The woman who announces the stations on my subway sounds like Nina on the TV show Alphas. You know – the woman who can convince anybody to do anything just by making her voice all reverby and stuff. I mention this in order to let people know that if I do anything crazy like, I don’t know, rob a bank or marry a Republican, it’s because the subway station announcer voice told me to.
SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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For Low Information Voters, Crazy Trumps All Other Considerations
Upping the icky weird factor in this year’s Presidential race, celebrity hair transplant promoter Donald Trump has offered to give $5 million to charity if President Obama publicly reveals the results of his alien anal probe.
“We know the President was abducted by aliens,” Trump explained on Fox and Fiends. “That’s the only way to explain his ker-aaaaaazy ideas. If he would just admit that that’s what happened, we can get on with running him out of office and putting a real American in his place!”
In response, President Obama shook his head sadly and went back to helping coordinate disaster relief efforts in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2012Oct28.html]
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Somebody Has A Chip On Their Shoulder, And It’s A Beauty!
It’s called Beauty and the Beast. Not Beauty and the Kind of Ugly Guy. Not Beauty and the Guy Whose Gone Through Some Not Necessarily Nice Looking Body Modification. And, certainly not Beauty and the Other Beauty Who Is Temporarily Not Quite So Beautiful But Who You Can Tell Is Still Kind of Hot. It’s Beauty and the Beast.
Can we please get this right?
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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Should Beach Footwear Be Renamed “Romneys?”
“Every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that’s the right direction. And if you can go even further and send it back to the private sector, that’s even better… It is simply immoral, in my view, for us to continue to rack up larger and larger debts and pass them on to our kids.”
– Mitt Romney on the Federal Emergency Management Agency during a primary debate
“I believe that FEMA plays a key role in working with states and localities to prepare for and respond to natural disasters. As president, I will ensure FEMA has the funding it needs to fulfill its mission…”
– Mitt Romney, post-Sandy
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Perfume Advertising Is The Pitt
BRAD PITT: It’s not a journey. Okay, it could be a journey. What, after all, is the quintessential journeyness of journey? It’s a voice activated tomato thrown against the wall of indifference. Or, in these times of diminishing expectations, would that be the quatressential journeyness of – you know, the world turns and we turn with it. Take Dramamine to be on the safe side. Plans disappear, dreams take over. Dreams evaporate, camels take over. Wherever I go, there you are – my muse, my 8 track tape, my payday. Okay, for the sake of argument, let’s say it’s not a journey.
ANNOUNCER: Number Five by Chanel. We have no idea what he is talking about, either.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1507692604]
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Remember How Pundits Used To Laugh At How The Republicans Got The Right Wing Religious Vote By Promising To Give It Things The Republicans Had No Intention Of Delivering?
That Joke’s Not So Funny Any More, Is It?
The rape thing? Republican Congressional candidate John Koster seems to think he’s got the understanding thing down. Of course, statements like this may make it appear like he has a problem with the compassion thing. Or, even the rationality thing, given how his party is all for the whole small government thing, which you would have thought would have made the whole forced birth thing difficult to administer. Or, maybe he just likes exercising the male power privilege thing. That’s usually the way with men who resort to the deity thing to tell other people how to manage the life thing.
Not to worry, though. This type of thinking is the domain of individuals, not the party as a whole. Individuals. Like Todd Akin. Lone wolves. Like Richard Mourdock. People who do not represent the party. Like Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan. Oh.
Clearly, this craziness is not isolated. It’s a Republican thing.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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The Farce Is Strong In This One
Six reasons Disney buying LucasFilm is not necessarily a bad thing
1. Jar Jar Binks
2. the inciting incident in the second trilogy was…a trade dispute? Really? Lucas not getting a big enough cut of the light saber meat tenderizer market?
3. Anakin Skywalker was dead inside long before he became Darth Vader (quite the casting coup, that one)
4. the “science” that explained The Force
5. light saber meat tenderizers
6. the Christmas special
One reason why Disney buying LucasFilm is a very bad thing
1. Disney is the Death Star of entertainment conglomerates that crushes the humanity out of its products in the name of maximizing revenue
SOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2012/November/Disturbance_In_Force.asp]
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Twenty-first Century Kitten Belly Exploration Works
If oil companies didn’t want the process of using a pressurized fluid to propagate fractures in a rock layer to get at the oil that lay within it to get a bad reputation, they shouldn’t have called it “fracking.” They should have called it “puppy energying” or something.
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2012/11/02/509727.html]
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