I May Not Know Poetry, But I Know What I Write
Ode On a Grecian, Spurned
I’m not a one to throw brickbats,
But you could sometimes hear crickets
In SFContario’s dealers room.
To say that things in there were slow
Is like saying there is the occasional fire in Buffalo,
Or that an unpleasant person is Doctor Doom.
In the organizers’ defence
Of the poor attendance,
The previous week was the World Fantasy Convention.
By the time they came across it
Their energy (not to mention their funds) were likely exhausted,
So SFContario could not get people’s full attention.
I do not mean to be preachy,
But they may well have to step up their outreachy
Efforts.
Although, as far as an effort to be fair is,
I could point out that next year there will be no Polaris –
So I’ll bet that people show up to SFContario in great spurts!
Unexpectedly Not Bumpy (Unlike My Head…)
There were characters on the con badges that looked like Braille, only they weren’t raised. I thought that was odd, although, a couple hours after I noticed it, I realized that I probably didn’t want blind people feeling up my chest. I’m trying to be more friendly and outgoing at cons, but there are limits!
I’ll Bet He Secretly Runs A Shelter For Homeless Puppies, Too…Bastard!
In one of his tours around the dealers’ room, Robert J. Sawyer told me that he liked the licence plate motif on the vest I was wearing. “I especially like the fact that it has Canadian licence plates,” he commented. I stammered something about liking that aspect of it, too and explained that I had actually bought it at a con a couple of years ago.
Damn him for being so nice! Any thought I may have had of reviving our one-sided feud (you know – the one that was fought entirely in my mind) was completely dispelled.
What If They Gave A Reading And Nobody Showed Up?
I read through my material anyway, figuring it was good practice. Or, at least, I started to. I would have practiced for the whole half hour if, five minutes in, somebody from the hotel hadn’t come to replace the table in the room. Sometimes, nobody can be very cruel.
What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children’s Toys
But, Uhh, You Already Knew That, Didn’t You?
Author and publisher Catherine Fitzimmons had furry ears. No, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a medical condition, it was a costume. Fur is usually easily found at science fiction conventions, nothing to see here, please move on. Only, the ears moved.
Okay, still no biggie. For the last couple of years, animals that sat on people’s shoulders (parrots were quite popular – arrrrr!) were popular. They moved with the application of a wire control that went down the owner’s arm. Been there, screamed at that.
Only, these ears had no controls. Or, to be more precise, the controls for the movement of the furry ears was worn on the person’s head; to mimic real random motion, the ears were controlled by the brainwaves of the wearer!
How cool is that? Don’t bother answering – it’s wicked cool.
There Is No “I” In Painelist
No, Wait…
One of the panels I was on explored the work of Japanese anime filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki. My plan was to open with, “Miyazaki’s films are awesome – what more really needs to be said?” Then, we would all use the remainder of the hour to quietly remember our favourite scenes from his films.
Fortunately, the other panelists had a better approach.
Other Images Of SFContario
Not the circle of life – just the circle of the Gardenview room where panels were held. And, yes, if you were in a room with a woman who wore her veiny bits on the outside of her legs, you would probably give her your complete attention, too!
If We Could Just Tap Into That Energy, We Could Wean Ourselves Off Of Fossil Fuels!
As usual, a lot of us were tired on Friday afternoon as we began setting up in the dealer’s room. It occurred to me that we often get energized by the con itself; as a result, even though we have worked over the weekend (and some of us partied, as well, or so I’m told), we have more energy by the end than we started with.
As it happened, by the end of SFContario, most of us were drained. Okay, okay. This is a wrinkle, to be sure. However, in accord with the scientific method, I am not prepared to entirely abandon my theory just because there appears to be contradictory evidence. No, I have incorporated the new information into my theory: those who toil at conventions are energized to the extent that they interact with the public. I was at my most lively at SFContario when I was at panels or in the brief periods of activity in the dealers room.
Okay, the evidence is anecdotal, to be sure, but how hard would it be to set up a controlled experiment to prove the thesis? I could even make up a mathematical formula if you think it would help.
In the meantime, I have that much more respect and admiration for the energy fans bring to science fiction conventions.