Not Impressed? You Think Don Kirshner Ever Boogied?
Don Cornelius, the original host of TV’s Soul Train, has died at the age of 75, an apparent suicide. Cornelius was instrumental in the creation of a place in American culture where people of colour could feel at home. And, he sure knew how to boogie!
Yeah, She’s Probably Going To Heaven, But There’s No Such Thing As Olympic UPHILL Skiing
Twenty-nine year-old freestyle skier Sarah Burke, who convinced the Olympic International Committee to include superpipe in the 2114 games, has died after falling over while landing a routine manoeuvre during a training run.
Of course, it’s all downhill from here.
But, You Haven’t Really Experienced His Work Until You’ve Heard The Mr. Bubble Commercial
Dick Tufeld, the voice of Robbie the Robot on Lost in Space, has died at the age of 85. Danger, Will Robins…on! Dan…g…e…r W…i…
You Want To Stay At Least An Arm’s Length Away When You Get His Autograph
Actor Bill Hinzman, known as the “graveyard zombie” or the “cemetery zombie” for roles he played in George Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead, has died at the age of 75 after battling cancer. Fans insist that this will not affect his plans to appear at this year’s Los Angeles Fan Expo.
Child Of Café 777 And Resto 630 Ran With Wild Crowd
Bistro 990, a popular restaurant with Toronto International Film Festival celebrities that had served all of Hollywood royalty at one time or another, has died of urban sprawl. It will be survived by another tacky, over-priced condo.
Demeter? Dominic? Dimplebutt? No, Wait, His Name Will Come To Me…
The only child of acclaimed novelist Vladimir Nabokov, who helped protect and translate his father’s work while also pursuing careers as an opera singer and race car driver, has died after a long illness at the age of 77. Nabakov’s son had long lived in the shadow of his father, considered one of the greatest 20th century writers in the English language.
I Said: Larry Solway Has Died. LARRY SOLWAY! HE DI – HE – Never Mind. I’ll Wait Until Your Hearing Has Returned. I’LL WAIT UNTIL YOUR HEARING HAS – AAARGH!
At the age of 83, the booming voice of broadcaster Larry Solway has been stilled.
For His Service To Canada, They Named A City In Alaska After Him…
Pierre Juneau, who, as the first president of the CRTC and head of the CBC (not at the same time!) championed Canadian content, has died at the age of 89. He will be buried in a casket made in China.
Johnny Otis?
Singing legend Etta James died at the age of 73. Who will hear the news and sing the blues?
Come On! Seriously! How Many Syrians Die Of…Asthma?
Two time Pulitzer Prize winning foreign correspondent Anthony Shadid has died at the age of 43 of an apparent asthma attack in Syria. At the bottom of a flight of stairs. After a disagreement with a stovepipe. Because he was allergic to bullets.
Okay, I’ll Say It: It Ain’t Over Until The Old Guy Blows The Shofar
Charles Anthony, the tenor who set the record for most appearances at the Metropolitan Opera (2,928 performances of 111 roles in 69 operas), has died at the age of 69. Do I really have to say it?
Not As Heroic As Captain Kirk, Not As Welcome As T. J. Hooker, But Not Bad For A Commercial Shill
The Negotiator has died at the age of five. The spokestravel agent for Priceline died as he lived: in a fiery explosion of hotel room savings.
Some Critics Found The Life Pretentious, Others Thought It Was Profound
Award-winning Greek filmmaker Theo Angelopoulos has died at the age of 76. His life was marked by long, lyrical takes with no dialogue and imagery that was at the same time unsubtle and obscure.
1958 Was A More Innocent Time…
Singer songwriter Johnny Otis has died at the age of 90. In addition to writing hits for Etta James and Gladys Knight and the Pips and producing Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog,” Otis had his own hit with the 1958 song “Willie and the Hand Jive.” No, I’m not making it up. That’s what the song was called. Yes, I know how it looks in an obituary, but what can I do? That really was what the song was called! If you’re offended, don’t blame me – it’s the universe that has a wicked of humour.