Thank you, Trevor the Intrepid Trepanneur, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we heard that naked pictures of movie stars had been hacked and leaked onto the Internet, and, we admit, we were curious, so we looked for them. Please, save your opprobrium for people with a moral compass – we’re journalists!
In any case, the images weren’t hard to find. There, in all their glory, were Shia LaBeouf, Liam Hemsworth, Ellar Coltrane and dozens of others of young men who had taken intimate photos of themselves and put them on the least secure communications system since the creation of personal conversation!. Of course, most were selfies with poor lighting and awkward framing, which often made it hard to make out the good bits – would it kill them to use a professional photographer? It’s not like most of them can’t afford it. Still, it was a thrill. Those randy dogs! Those…those showoffs!
We couldn’t help but wonder, though, if things would have been different if it had been female stars’ photos that had been leaked…
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
And, If You Weren’t Thinking It Before…
Oh! Oh! Oh! You know who died? Joan Rivers! I know. I know. She was 81, god bless her. Died of a heart attack. You know who attended her funeral to mourn her passing? Twelve family members and a thousand plastic surgeons! Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist – you are wearing panties, right? You know you were thinking it! When Rivers’ death was announced, the price of stock in Allergan, the company that produces Botox, plummeted! Oh, please! Don’t look at me like that! You know that somewhere in the big plastic surgeon’s waiting room in the sky, Joan is loving this!
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Start The Literary Revolution Without Me…What Do You Mean, You Already Have?
Karl Rove Ausscaaght
My Struggle, Book 27: Damn Zippers
Random Penguin House
927 pages
It’s always a pleasure to read a book from a series that changed the literary landscape forever. Especially when it is Scandinavian. There’s something about frigid landscapes that really brings out the worst in human behav
Oh, wait. While I was writing this, Eleanor Sumptanke’s Depthchard trilogy became the new series that changed the literary landscape forever. And, it’s a pleasure to read the final book in her series because, honestly, who doesn’t relish a behind-the-scenes look at a modern touring company of actors bringing adaptations of Vedic poetry to rural Ontario? You can almost feel the frigid landscapes on your fingers as you hold
Really? Okay. Okay. Apparently, Gumption and Garters, the new novel in David Archambee’s series that started with Admonition and Altars, is the latest book in a series that changed the literary landscape forever. As far as I can tell, though, none of his books contain any frigid landscapes, so I may not be the best qualified person to review them…
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.43.73/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Thomas Was Born In A More Innocent Time
The Harper Government of Canada has announced that it will be sending soldiers to Iraq. The 100 or so “advisers” will be there to help NATO fight Islamic State militants.
“This is a twofer for the Harper government,” said military historian and big toe on the left foot fetishist Jack Rockbeermug. “Not only do they get to live the Iraq war they really wanted to participate in over a decade ago, but the escalation of advisers can give them a small measure of the experience of Vietnam!”
Meanwhile, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair pouted, “Hey! Doesn’t Parliament get any say in this?”
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2014/08/03/somewherinottawaeaprimeministeriskvelling140803]
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No Need To Be In A Ben Hurry To Get This Game
Grand Theft Chariot
Rock and a Hard Place Star Games
all platforms (including those that haven’t been invented yet)
rated IA for Immature Adults
When you’ve destroyed just about every car that was ever produced in your series of auto – ahem – liberation games, what do you do to keep the franchise alive? If you’re Rock and a Hard Place Star Games, you go back to ancient Rome, where vehicles were steered by reins and fueled by oats.
And, you release your first certified disaster.
The open world design that served Rock and a Hard Place Star in previous games just proves the limitation of the concept: mostly, the world is made up of hovels and farms. There is a monotony to ancient Rome that quickly wears thin: after you’ve run over your fiftieth toga-clad peasant, the action gets really tired.
There are still some nice touches, like the bard in a chariot that follows yours and sings parodies of popular songs of the time to you. And, some of the chariot customization options that become available to you are sick; I especially liked the flagstaff that doubles as a grenade launcher. Anachronistic? Sure. But, fun? Hell yes!
But. overall? The game is as much fun as trying to convince a group of Roman Senators to put down their knives, and we all know how that story turns out!
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/140911/geeklynews/01liarliarchariotsonfire.htm]
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Good Thing The Government Cut Its Funding Before The Organization Could Do Any Real Damage!
According to Statistics Canada, the country lost 11 million jobs in August. Eleven million. Essentially the only people to keep their jobs in this time period were politicians, teenage fast food restaurant employees and – surprise surprise – all of the core members of Statistics Canada.
“We were very surprise surprised, considering that indicators such as housing sales and starts would lead one to conclude that the economy was growing,” said former Scotiabank economist Derek Zigglehotz. “In fact, if we were still employed, we might dispute these figures!”
Information coming out of StatsCan has, of recent months, become imminently disputable, led by the July report that suggested that the economy had created twelve and half million jobs, which would have required that everybody in the country over the age of three be employed.
“That was a rounding error,” said a former StatsCan employee. “Or, no, wait, a dispute among our employees about they proper placement of decimal points? Well, in any case, a thorough internal review pinpointed the problem, and, if I were still employed there, I would assure you that our numbers are now solid!”
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cc6a528]
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