Puns We Love to Hate Month lives on in our hearts and minds!
1. Saltwater taffeta – worst candy concept ever!
2. If I was a farmer, I guess selling crops in a depressed market would be my grain headache.
3. Was the egotistical ballplayer who couldn’t stay with one team a jerk of all trades?
4. Finding unexpected saliva in your mouth? You know, spit happens when you least expectorate it!
5. What British comedy group performed on tarmac? Monty Python’s Flying Surface…
6. Ice cream that’s actually good for you? Not in a month of sundaes!
7. When I first saw her photos in Playboy, I dropped to my knees and exclaimed, “Lindsay Lohan, behold!”
8. Does a cold that turns deadly feature a phlegm fatale?
9. I want to be a Spanish hero, but who am I El Ciding?
10. The angry ballet teacher said, “Not one of you will pass – barre none!”
11. The leaf that didn’t want to fall off the tree pled: “But, I have grown frond of you!”
12. Were the Greek warrior’s most trusted allies Achilles’ ten dons?
13. A newspaper article on a certain spice could be a cumin interest story…
14. How can you tell Jessica is a Dr. Who fan? She’s a Gal o’ Frey…
15. I never get to blow the ram’s horn. I’m always so close, and yet shofar…
16. When in Spain, I like to share my honeydew. My philosophy is: mi casaba is su casaba…
17. Why does anybody like borscht? Beets me!
18. My love for the works of Herman Melville was nipped in the Billy Budd…
19. What did you call what you were eating? Italian cheese my asiago!
20. Did you hear about the recalled vegetables? Nobody should be forced by their mothers to eat their e-broccoli!
21. If comedian Colin’s brother was a lawyer, would that make him a Mochrie of justice?
22. After a good meal, actress Ellen must feel plum full to Burstyn…
23. I need painkillers to watch tennis; for me, it’s game, Percocet, match…
24. Not a big of fan of 1980s Canadian rock? Have a Corey Hart!
25. Sacrilege? Oh, it ain’t just a city in California!
26. Prospero, King Arthur, Arthur’s butler Hobson – it’s all Gielgud!
27. I’m a big fan of Idle’s anonymous writing; you could say I’m a member of Gen-Eric…
28. Is art that is so tacky it’s fatal to those who view it the kitsch of death?
29. All it takes is one old Norse letter to really rune your day!
30. No, a rara avis is not a difficult to find rental car!
31. Is a tasty link on Twitter a heavenly hashtag?
Just a small sample of the never ending stream of Puns We Love to Hate.
1. Getting the poet to sign the contract was a Donne deal…
2. It took forever to get the Coffee Crisp, but better chocolate than never…
3. The name of the best painter ever is obvious: Leonardo DuhVinci!
4. Letting Secretariat read the menu at the French restaurant meant putting the carte before the horse…
5. When you ask a teenage painter if he knows what material undercoats a mural, don’t be surprised if he says, “I gesso…”
6. At his roast, actor Mischa was the man of the Auer…
7. Health care for orangutans is the medical of the wild…
8. An indecisive awards ceremony is a fete to be tied…
9. Does romantic prison correspondence usually start: “To stir, with love?”
10. Ending the argument about where to land, the Pilgrim said, “That settles it, then…”
11. When Hans was so angry about a German accent that he could barely speak, did that make him an umm lout?
12. Great chefs appeal to the angels of our batter natures…
13. Does soda college teach Fizz Ed?
14. Was the first shoe worn by heathen natives the original moccasin?
15. History repeats itself in the Middle East: first as tragedy, then as Farsi…
16. When she didn’t know which man to sleep with, she assumed her bedder judgment would prevail…
17. After the Russian space station was decommissioned, it became a MIR bagatelle…
18. In the storm, the farmer obsessed with his equipment lost all he held Deere…
19. When the history of financial scandals is written, will there be a chapter on Enran?
20. He loved big screen movies so much that he IMAXed out his credit cards to watch them…
21. Did the public servant who said he was going to overspend on personal expenses commit a self-fulfilling profligacy?
22. The actress who was always contradicting everybody on set was Mitzi Gainsayer…
23. He didn’t like exercise, but he knew it was a case of do or diet…
24. The woman who was given an injunction against going to church was told to diocese and desist…
25. When Desi wanted her to solve the smooth polynomial function, he would say, “Lucy, you got some splinin’ to do!”
26. If your uncommunicative dad let you take the car, could you say that it was permission grunted?
27. Did the amphibian on the work site wear steel toad boots?
28. Is the blues standard about heartache in a BC town called “I Can’t Coquitlam You, Baby?”
29. At the wedding of the Wall Street brokers, did celebrants throw avarice at the lucky couple?
30. Chili con carne is not necessarily a dish made by or for carnival buskers…
31. Is Chris starring in a porn film about trees a naughty Pine?