Skip to content

Headlines Wanted to Apologize for Justin Bieber, But Didn’t Know Where to Begin

“Expert Just Started Paying Attention,” Layperson Responds


“Latest move by PM ‘right-wing American politics,’ expert says”

– Toronto Star


Jeeze, Do Boomers Have To Be Competitive About EVERYTHING?!


“Pumpkin Seeds for Ultimate Bladder Control”

– Toronto Sun ad


You May Be Good At Headline Writing, But You’re Lousy At Math


“Move over, guys. This year, Sundance is all about the women
More than a third of the films at 2015 festival feature female directors”

– Toronto Star


If Only We Didn’t Live In Such A Sexist Society, Those Gals Might Actually Be Going Places!


“Girl Power
Who’s getting things done in Peel? Teenage girls. They are studying, volunteering, working part-time jobs, looking after youngr siblings and driving their communities forward. Barriers be gone. These young women are getting it done, according to a new survey”

– Toronto Star

“Girls spend longer on homework, study finds”


– Toronto Star

“Women are more cautious with investments – and that isn’t a bad thing”


– Globe and Mail


Hatred Does Not Discriminate


“New spate of anti-Christian violence in India”

– Toronto Star

“U.K. sees spike in hate crimes
Jews and Muslims unite with neighbourhood watch after recent London Attacks”


– Toronto Star


Technically, He Only “Earned” About $19.95
Let Us Say, Instead, That He “Was Gifted” The Rest


“Scotiabank’s new CEO earns $8.87M”

– Globe and Mail


Some People’s Economic Machinations Make My Brain Hurt


“U.S. economy sees string of job gains”

– Toronto Star

“Markets tumble on U.S. jobs data”


– Toronto Star


Just Because We Want You To Be Paranoid Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Have Real Enemies (Us, For Example)


“Denial won’t make the T-word go away
Just because Stephen Harper is milking the terror threat doesn’t mean it isn’t real”

– Globe and Mail


They’re Not Exactly Partying In North America, Either – Have You Seen The New “Anti-terrorism” Laws?


“Civic Groups Face New Peril in China”

– New York Times


In This Economy, That Shouldn’t be Difficult


“Keep pockets empty to preserve a perfect fit”

– Toronto Star


Some Other People’s Economic Machinations Make My Brain Hurt, Too


“Markets take a hit in anticipation of U.S. rate hike”

– Globe and Mail

“U.S. dollar takes flight as markets lose ground”


– Toronto Star


So, Who Should I Vote For? The Whigs?


“Tory fear-mongering likely to backfire”

– Toronto Star

“Trudeau could hurt himself by supporting anti-terror bill”


– Toronto Star


Wouldn’t You Be More Likely To Get To Heaven If You Had Faith Before You Died?


“After Execution, Questions Of Faith”

– New York Times


Sure, If The Question Is: Do They Want Their Budget For Social Services Be Eaten Up By Gambling Addicts


“Is a casino the answer in Rexdale?”

– Toronto Star


So, Civil Servants Should Be Blown Away By A .357 Magnum, The Most powerful Handgun In The World, For…Padding Their Expense Accounts?


“Dirty Harry, we need you
Golden chance to rethink the watchdogs we employ”

– Toronto Sun


Wasn’t That The Name Of A Larry David TV Series?


“Mainstream Islam must curb extremism”

– Toronto Star


Conservative Newspapers Report On Conservative Organizations Criticizing A Liberal
Readers Yawn


“Jewish groups rap Trudeau for ‘none is too many’ remarks”

– Canadian Jewish News


We Should Have Stuck With Plastic…


“Future of antibiotics grows in horse manure”

– Globe and Mail


There Is A Certain Logic To It
People In Meetings Aren’t In Their Cars Causing Traffic Jams


“It’ll be better, Tory promises
Meetings will mean less traffic chaos: Mayor”

– Toronto Sun


Meat? Is The Next Level Meat?
If It Isn’t – I’m Not Interested


“Taking tofu to the next level”

– Toronto Star


Bet You Didn’t Even Know It Was Missing


“Smartwatch companies hoping you’ll rediscover your wrist”

– Toronto Star


Where Are The Xenophobes When You Need Them?!


“Japan taking overt downtown”

– Toronto Metro


Everybody’s A Comedian!


“You butter believe in ghee”

– Toronto Star

“An affair to re-member
South African surgeons perform the world’s first successful penis transplant”


– Toronto Star

“Record global sugar surplus has bittersweet consequences”


– Globe and Mail

“Ferry terminal contest marks berth of a new city”


– Toronto Star

“Acrobat’s location was up in the air”


– Toronto Sun

“An affair to re-member
South African surgeons perform the world’s first successful penis transplant”


– Toronto Star

“There’s margarine of error when using butter”


– Toronto Star

“Honda to welcome new man in drive’s seat”


– Toronto Star

“Fifty Shades whips it up at box office”


– Toronto Star

“Right to die moves into final stages”


– Toronto Star

“The sorry state of sports apologies”


– Toronto Star

“Mr. Harper’s veiled attack on religious freedom”


– Globe and Mail

“Cattle industry hoping to revive bull market”


– Globe and Mail

“Was actor chopped from food show?”


– Toronto Star

“Wind blows away rivals at auction”


– Toronto Star

“SMARTWATCH”
Apple unveils new high-wrist venture”


– Toronto Star

“Frozen staff begins to warm up”


– Toronto Star

“Timing a transformation
From colourful computers to $13,000 watches, Apple makes tech luxe”


– Globe and Mail

“Let’s swear off rudeness at work”


– Globe and Mail

“Ship sails on free cruise to Bahamas phone calls”


– Toronto Star

“High-end Toronto mattress makers not content to rest on their laurels”


– Toronto Star

“Mental-health issues can fly under the radar
Pilots are regularly tested but symptoms can be hidden”


– Toronto Star


Sounds Like A George Carlin Joke


“In Canada, you are where you live”

– Globe and Mail


A Pocket Of Crack Exploded In Your Brain?


“Why I believe Tory will do the right thing”

– Toronto Star


What is This – An HBO Series?


“Sometimes, there are no good guys”

– Toronto Star


From Doing What? Smoking In Public Places?
Driving While Drunk?
Marrying Members Of The Same Sex?


“New bill would ban killer whales”

– Toronto Sun


Leave a Reply