1. Bullet To The Head!
2. Bullet To The Head!
3. Hesitate, And You’re Dead!
“The keys to staying alive in a zombie market”
– Globe and Mail
When Did City Council Become A Charles Atlas Ad?
“AINSLIE SHOULD MAN UP
…instead of crying because ‘Mayor Meanie’ kicked sand in his face”
– Toronto Sun
They’re So Good They Could Drop A Whistleblower At 500 Documents
“OIL PIPELINE CONTROVERSY
How fast can they spot a leak?”
– Toronto Star
Skips Dinner And Flowers To Get To The “Good Part”
“Flaherty date with economists sets stage for fall update”
– Globe and Mail
Filipinos Are Raising Funds To Help You Deal With It
“Keystone XL denial would be a ‘tragedy’
TransCanada executive warns against rail for oil transport”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, The Tea Party Isn’t Good At Recognizing People’s Best Interests – Even Their Own
“The theocracy has reason to negotiate”
– Globe and Mail
You See – [Scribble Scribble] – Give Me – Just Give Me A Second, Will You? – [Scribble Scribble] There! You See? It Says So Right…Here!
“Drone strikes in Pakistan ‘lawful,’ U.S. insists”
– Toronto Star
And, Here I Thought They Were Descendants Of Feral Unicorns – Isn’t Science Amazing?
“Yeti may be a descendant of prehistoric polar bears, DNA analysis determines”
– Toronto Star
If He Knew Without Being Told, Does That Mean The President Is…Psychic?
“Obama was not told of spying: official”
– Globe and Mail
“Obama knew of spying, paper says”
– Toronto Star
Unless It Isn’t
Ask Us Again In Two Years…
“Canada-EU deal truly historic”
– Toronto Sun
And Its Counterpart: Wombats, Oil Derricks Or Blunt Scissors?
“The advice conundrum: All, none or some?”
– Globe and Mail
When It Arrives, Bomb Gets Drunk And Throws Up All Over The Cake
“Bomb kills 18 on way to wedding”
– Toronto Sun
We Just Aren’t Going To Tell You How
“Transparency is key to rejuvenating public engagement”
– Toronto Star
Next Halloween, Expect Revenue Canada Agents To Knock On Your Door Disguised As Revenue Canada Agents
“This Halloween, disguise your capital losses as your spouse’s”
– Globe and Mail
So, That’s How Money Becomes Dirty!
Do I Want To Know How It becomes Sexy…?
“Air pollution? Throw money at it”
– Toronto Sun
And A Good “InterPet Flibble ogle P.B. JLY” To You, Too!
“AltaGas, Idemitsu eye B.C. LNG”
– Globe and Mail
It’s Hip! It’s Happening! It’s…A Really bad Idea!
“Hudson’s Bay to open Haitian pop-up shop
Partnership with Brandaid seeks to ‘rebrand poverty'”
– Toronto Star
There’s Always A Catch!
“A bright future ahead, if Canada invests in modernization”
– Globe and Mail
It’s Hard To Get A Full Portrait When The Only Colour You Use Is White
“Harper paints himself as an outsider”
– Globe and Mail
Not That We’re – You Know – Thinking Of Anybody In Particular…
“Urge heavy drinker to get aid”
– Toronto Star
Rovenomics 101
“Markets are partying like its 1999
But there are signs things are getting carried away as valuations lose touch with reality”
– Globe and Mail
If It Did, Wouldn’t Your Headline Be Much Different?
“Does e-mail trail reach premier?”
– Toronto Sun
Even If Corporations Are People, They Still Can’t Get Herpes?
“The bright side of a failed takeover”
– Globe and Mail
I’m Sorry – You Expect Me To Compete With THAT?
“Sinead to Miley: stop licking sledgehammers”
– Toronto Star
Or: 10 Reasons To Toss Proust Into A Ditch
“Madeleines and memory: 10 reasons to love Proust”
– Toronto Star
“The book-quitters manifesto”
– Globe and Mail
Plans To Run For Tea Party In 2014
“New breed of dinosaur discovered in Utah”
– Toronto Star
What If I’m Happy And I Just Want A, You Know, Book?
“Indigo falls as dividend disappears
Investors aren’t waiting for next chapter after management puts payout on hold to fund bookseller’s transition to ‘lifestyle’ focus”
– Globe and Mail
Just Remember: If You Cannot Find A Job, You’re A Lazy Bastard Without Marketable Skills
“Rogers lays off television and magazine staff”
– Globe and Mail
“Bell Media cutting dozens of jobs after Astral buy”
– Globe and Mail
“Encana cuts deep in massive shakeup
Company to slash 20 per cent of work force, focus on oil and liquids-rich gas projects”
– Globe and Mail
“Toronto Star to outsource advertising
Newspaper will lay off from 75 to 100 employees”
– Toronto Star
“Green Mountain Coffee to cut 120 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Sears Canada outsourcing jobs
Some of the work going to India as the axe falls on 245 workers”
– Toronto Star
“Loblaw to reduce work force by 275 employees”
– Globe and Mail
“Yellow Media phasing out 300 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Tribune to cut 700 print publishing jobs”
– Globe and Mail
“Kellogg to cut 2,000 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“Thomson Reuters to cut 3,000 jobs”
– Toronto Star
“BlackBerry slashes workforce
Company to axe 4,5000 staff in wake of $1-billion quarterly loss”
– Toronto Star
“Blackberry lays off 300 more employees”
– Toronto Star
“Merck to cut 8,500 jobs, narrow research focus”
– Globe and Mail
When Buyers Can Only Afford A Downpayment In Cashews…
“How to predict the end of Canada’s housing boom”
– Globe and Mail
Too Late For NHL To Bring Back Culture Of Talent
“No rush to change culture of fighting”
– Toronto Star
It’s The Tough Kind
“Alberta’s real oil problem? Too much love”
– Globe and Mail
“Eastern pipeline plans face new hurdles
Ontario, Quebec launch public hearings into controversial projects designed to open new export possibilities for Alberta oil
– Globe and Mail
The Sun, On The Other Hand, Is Not Media – We’re The Soap Bubble That Waves The Porch Light
“Media push agenda, not truth”
– Toronto Sun