D.C. Legislators Replied: “We Don’t Negotiate With Terrorists!”
“If you decide to move forward tomorrow with the legalization of marijuana in the District, you will be doing so in knowing and wilful violation of the law.”
– Republican representatives Jason Chaffetz and Mark Meadows in a letter to the Washington, DC government, which planned on acting on an electoral initiative to legalize marijuana
“You can go to prison for this. We’re not playing a little game here.”
– Representative Chaffetz in a newspaper article
“I Get To Decide Who Is Investigated – MY Freedoms Are Doing Just Fine, Thank You!”
“This is really what we get from our opposition, that every time we talk about security, they suggest somehow our freedoms are threatened.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper
A Good Thing, Since You’re Not The One Who Would Be Cleaning Up The Mess
“I’m not one for vomiting declarations of sentiment out across the airwaves”
– Ryan Reynolds
What They’ll Get Are Big, Bold Cliches
“People want new, fresh leadership with big, bold ideas and the courage to act on it.”
– Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker
Thanks. I Was Feeling Nostalgic For The Whole “They Hate Our Freedoms” Thing, But That’s Now Passed…
“The international jihadi movement has declared war on Canada. Canadians are being targeted by jihadi terrorists simply because they hate our society and the values it represents.”
– Steven Blaney, Minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness
Public Good…My Company’s Bottom Line – They’re Practically Twins!
“We’ve got to quit the little bickering that goes on between us and get to the bigger picture and let institutions that we charge with managing the public good to get on with doing their job.”
– TransCanada Corporation CEO Russ Girling on delays of key energy projects
If That’s The Case, What Does It Mean To Be Dumped? To Recollect Potash?
“To be in love is to recollect separation anxiety.”
– philosopher Clancy Martin in the book Love and Lies
Corporate Bureaucracy And Corruption, On The Other Hand, Smell Of Lilacs And Misspent Youth (As Long As You’re Not Part Of The 35 Per Cent Of The Population That Is Unemployed)
“If we go back to the model of a state-driven economy, Greece will be done for. It scares away investment, it creates bureaucracy and invites corruption.”
– Gioros Kaminis, Mayor of Athen
That Sometimes Happens When You Puff Yourself Up – The World Thinks You’re Larger Than You Really Are And Backs Away Slowly In Fear
“I have seen the stature of this country grow in the eyes of the world.”
– John Baird on Canada
Although – Henh Henh – I Seem To Have Enough Adjectives At My Disposal…
Homosexual behaviour is “a crime against nature, an inherent evil and an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it.”
– Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, explaining why he defied a federal ruling striking down the state’s ban on gay marriage
Actually, You’re A Celebrity. You Shouldn’t Forget That…
“I am a human, right? People often forget that…”
– Justin Bieber
This Is Quebec – We Do Racism Differently Here
“Just as sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, black makeup is sometimes just black makeup.”
– Montreal journalist Patrick Lagace on a Theatre du Rideau Vert skit
You Should Have Taken Up Knitting, Although With Your Sensibility…
“I had a very hectic life with just a few outlets for recreation…”
– former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn explaining his connection to orgies involving prostitutes
Probably Not Even Then, Although There Is A Good Chance That They Would Have Made The Playoffs
“It might well be argued by people like that that if the Toronto Maple Leafs had had a few extra players and one minute per game for the last five years in every one of their games, they might have won five Stanley Cups in the last 10 years.”
– Toronto Mayor John Tory responds to former Mayor Rob Ford’s claim that he would have won the election if he had been able to run
Is There A Rehab Programme For Insensitive Political Posturing?
“Absolutely ridiculous…crazy in the head.”
– former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on the possibility of the city raising taxes
Isn’t That What The Festival Of Cholesterol Is All About?
“We’ve gone from ‘We’re going to run out of pork!’ to ‘What are we going to do with all of this meat?'”
– John Nalivka, president of agriculture-advisory firm Sterling Marketing, on the growing popularity of pork now that a deadly virus in the porcine population has been brought under control
All Thomas Mulcair Said Was: “I Hope The Snow Lets Up Some Time Soon…”
“Now is not the time for the NDP agenda of attacking the police and security agencies. Now is the time to take on terrorists.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper
I’ve Often Heard Western Leaders Describe Themselves As “Not Being Against Islam, Just Terrorism.” I Wish More Western Leaders Would Say That More Often, And Mean It
“I’ve often heard Western leaders describe Islam as ‘a religion of peace.’ I wish more Muslim leaders would say that more often, and mean it.”
– Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbot
WE’RE NOT ALREADY?!!!!!!!!!!!
“Imagine what would happen if we didn’t protect our nuclear facilities.”
– LaVar Payne, Conservative member of Medicine Hat
Demagogic Pandering Is A Choice “Because A Lot Of People Who Go Into Politics Go Into Politics Straight Shooters – And When They Win A Couple Of Elections, They Bend The Truth To Get Votes.” Something Clearly Happened When They Were In Power
Homosexuality is a choice “Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight – and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there?”
– potential Republican 2016 presidential candidate Ben Carson
Now That Running On Our Economic Record Is Likely To Lose Us Votes In The Next Election (See Above)
“Our government has made standing up for victims of crime a priority.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Poking Him In The Eye, On The Other Hand…
“My speech is not intended to show any disrespect to President Obama or the esteemed office he holds.”
– Benjamin Netanyahu