# The first time, the lights flickering out for a couple of seconds caused my computer to turn off. Taking the 10 minutes to boot it back up was annoying.
The second time, the lights were out for a couple of minutes. When they came back on, taking the 10 minutes to boot my computer back up was very angrifying.
The third time, I was expecting the lights to go out, and I wasn’t disappointed. Or, actually, I was disappointed. The language isn’t entirely adequate on this point. Either way, I angrily thought to myself: Oh, I am getting sick of this – make up your damn mind, already! And, obviously, somebody heard me, because the electricity in my neighbourhood was out for two days.
Yes, I know where I was at the start of the Not So Great Toronto Blackout of 2013.
# If a tree falls in the city and nobody can see it because it took out the power lines when it fell, causing a massive blackout, did it really, umm, do…whatever a parody of the famous aphorism would need it to do to be complete?
A random photograph of ice hanging off of trees because it isn’t a true ice storm without images of ice hanging off of things. No need to thank me; it’s all part of the service…
# Of course, there’s only so much reading by candlelight one can do before one’s eyes protest (it’s a high-pitched squealing sound – if you haven’t heard it, consider yourself lucky), so I did what anybody in my position would do: slept a lot. (My position being single. What anybody who is not single would do in this position will be revealed in approximately nine months.) This required a bit of adjustment, since my ordinary hours are spent mostly in the dark, which would defeat the whole purpose. Still, you would be surprised how easy it is to coax your body to sleep when you’re running a sleep deficit.
Of course, I’m not recommending that others who have problems sleeping hope for a storm which leaves hundreds of thousands of people in five provinces without electricity. That would be cruel. And, more than a little self-obsessed. I’m just saying that if the opportunity arises…
# Staying with my parents is always fun, but during the Not So Great Toronto Blackout of 2013 it was moreso.
ME: I’m going to take a shower.
DAD: Wait a second. We may not have any hot water. (Goes to sink and runs water for a couple of seconds.)
ME: That’s really not nec –
DAD: See? There’s no hot water.
ME: That may be, but I still have to –
MOM: You don’t know that. You didn’t run the water long enough to see if it will get hot or not. (Goes to sink and runs water for over a minute, long enough for steam to rise out of it.)
ME: No, don’t bother to –
MOM: There. You see? We do have hot water!
ME: (muttering) Think there’ll be any left for me…?
Gloomy, isn’t it?
# It’s interesting how an emergency can unite people. For a brief time, every Torontonian’s favourite three words were: “Electricity’s back on!”
# Westerners may have been a little smug about us eastern bastards freezing in the dark, although some may have been disappointed that they weren’t directly responsible. You would think that, now that Calgary is the centre of the universe, they could afford to be more magnanimous. I guess some people are really good at holding a grudge…
# To pass the time, my father started reading Al Gore’s book The Future. Looking at the cover, I thought, I have seen it.
Does your grandfather, in his ongoing attempts to make you feel, deep down in your bones, how much better you have things than people did when he was your age, complain about dryers, saying that when he was a kid they had to dry their socks by an open fire in the middle of the room? Mine doesn’t either. However, I’m sure somebody’s grandfather somewhere says things like that. This image is for him: eat your heart out, grandpa!
# It should come as no surprise that ice storms happen in cold weather, which makes not freezing to death more than an academic exercise or the plot of a Hollywood blockbuster about men with too much testosterone climbing every mountain because, you know, they can. One solution to this problem? Shopping malls. And, the best part? So many people will be there doing last minute Christmas shopping, that nobody need know that you’re there to avoid freezing to death as more than part of an academic exercise or etc. etc.!
Still, next time somebody decides to have an ice storm that destroys multitudes of trees and cuts power to major metropolitan areas for days, would it be too much to ask for it to be in May?